“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.”
― Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis
Here I was, hiking the Appalachian Trail with my service dog, when everyone vanished in the night. Not only that, I've transformed into some bug monster. That...isn't going to help my mental problems very much. Now I got to find a way open up my prescription bottles with hooves. Will I even get more medicine? Is there anyone still around? What about my Grandmother? And I'm pretty sure I can hear stuff screaming and growling in the woods.
Getting home is going to be tough.
Part of the Ponies after People Universe. Rated Dark as this story will be visiting darker topics such as mental illness, death, and other unpleasant things. Illustrations and Cover, by me!
Edited and Pre-read by the wonderful Stahl and Courage. Awesome.
Superior ePub version by Phoen1x [9/28/15]
SoundTrack - Listen on 8TRACKS!
This is my first story I've written for the MLP fandom. Please feel free to offer up any critique or advice. They would be very much appreciated. 
Featured on 9/9/2015! Yays :D
Welcome to the Ponies after People group!
Preemptively adding to my favorites for the Kafka reference.
Will read this after work!
Damn.
This is as good as the original!
Also, A PAP story with a changeling posted a day after I posted mine... I'm watching you...
JK, funny coincidence.
Dayum. Great art, great writing, slight humour, Changelings, and hint of dark stuff. I like
Even if I'm usually not one for the depression/paranoia dark stuff.
I read every Pony After People story, most (around 70%) I just track (and like). This gets a fave.
Edit: Screw that, you get a follow.
Well done! Keep up the good work!
Should perhaps mention why she has a service dog.
6201560
If you look at the medications she's taking, you can see why she has a service dog XD. Prescribing those three medicines at once usually indicates the person is suffering from things like PTSD, Crippling anxiety, Depression, and extreme paranoia. A psychiatric service dog is also trained to bring their owner their medicine and water as well as to comfort their owner until a panic attack/flashback has passed. You'll see more about how awesome service dogs are as the story goes on :D
6201622 Err - no, you don't get to do that.
While in principle, this is discoverable by a google search, or if you are familiar with the medications involved, few people without direct involvement are going to understand.
It's like starting off with an ex-blind participant, and mentioning a specific brand of cane, or other appliance, and assuming that the readership will understand, though 99.9% of them will never have heard of it.
Ambiguity at the beginning that the reader can reason out with their existing knowledge is fine, not stating it just to be obscure is simply annoying.
6201643
Aaa sorry. It just feels....weird to have the protag just be like 'Hi I'm X and I have this disorder' right off the bat. I kinda wanted to uh...show through the actions and not outright just tell? Is it that jarring to not say right off the bat what's wrong with her?
Which were? Obviously the body has changed. The anatomy would change too so... I guess if he is ticklish in the belly that works in changeling form as well?
Uhmm what? Sorry I'm Greek.
Who is that?
Armory? Really?
Vaporized? More like something that a sci fi fan would say methinks.
How well? Were they Friends family relatives?
I suggest researching on the illness you want one to have in order not to end up not knowing what you are saying. I am guessing this is diagnosed right? This is just friendly advice as stuff like this can be easily messed up.
I am guessing you mean both psychologically and physically?
That a name or a title? What does it mean?
I am guessing you have visited that?
Yes. Never say never.
Neat. Still the part where you say "sick" and "dread". It would be better to describe those.
6201767
For ticklish spaces, I imagine the more sensitive spots like the ears and belly would still be sensitive.
This is what a horses frog is! It's pretty much the v shaped spot on the bottom of a horse hoof.
Gregor Samsa is the protagonist from the short novella The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
And yes an armory! People don't hike the trail without a knife or bear repellant spray. Some people will bring guns in the especially remote parts of the trail.
The protagonist like scifi!
They were friends, mostly from a hiking club!
I actually have PTSD, anxiety, and chronic depression. So a lot of this I can write from my own experience alone. I also take two of the three medications in the fics. Oh boy!
And not feeling sick for once means yes, both mentally and physically. Mental illness not only fucks up the brain, but the body too. There's sometimes rare days where you feel well on both fronts.
The Appalachian trail is a long hiking trail that nearly runs the entire east coast in the USA.
I have never been to Clarence Fahnestock State Park. But my New Yorkian pal has been there :D
Oh goodness there isn't any sex in this so yeah, she will not need the birth control lolol.
Thanks for your comments man :D I'll try and tweak some things here in a bit.
6201837 Wait... there's bear repellant spray?
6202088
Yup!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_spray
It's pretty much super mace, for bears!
So far so good!
Also, digging the artwork.
Tis good. Have mustache spike
good so far
Nice title
This is some top shit right here, nignog. Good artwork, decent feels, and a dog. It's everything it needs to be.
6201671 Nah, you're doing ok. The story description was good enough to give the audience an idea what's up with the protagonist. I'll admit, I was a little bit in the dark on the details, but the story clued me in just fine.
Usually fics with depression-having protagonists just wind up being a mind-numbing-ly boring pity party. I kind of like that this is more so dealing with depression as an actual disability, rather than the typical loser suburban white kid feeling sorry for themself. Refreshing, I'd say.
6207264
Thank you :D I myself deal with depression so I can at least write about how it's like. The last thing you want is a pity party. You have to be constantly vigilant to cut off circular thinking and feeling sorry for yourself or a number of bad things can happen. For the protagonist, if she gives in it can mean death so of course she isn't going to want to do that. It is very possible to have a happy and full life with depression, you just have to monitor it like how someone with diabetes need to keep an eye on blood sugar. I'm going to be taking medicine for it for the rest of my life but I can honestly say I'm very happy :) The protagonist herself is actually happy too, it's just this situation is going to test her coping skills.
Thank youuuuuu to everyone else too for the kind comments :D I am writing chapter two now, hopefully it'll be out this weekend or so!
Aww, that art at the end is adorable and sad
And it's nice to see more bug fans out there in the big wide world as well.
nice story, I would properly feel the same way.
6208941
I second this. PS hey bluemoon!
6214051
Jahowl?
6214064
just saying hey.
6214078
Well, hi :)
This gonna be good.
I like it.
Ahh.....The feels.
Oh my god....the art so beautiful...
It remind me a story lost in Fantasy land.
Headcanon accepted.
Omfg even an appropriate name! It means "bee" in greek!
How dependent on emotions are changelings? I hardly think they would be emotion-exclusive with those fangs.
This is shaping up to be a great little story. I look forward to the next update.
6201671
Yeah, most aren't going to have that intimate knowledge of medicine, and many people just aren't aware that there are service dogs for high-functioning psychiatric disorders. Usually we think of blindness or autism.
I think you were mostly on the right track, mentioning that this isn't the first time she's woken up screaming to the point that her hiking party might just tune it out, and the second chapter made it clear enough. You straight-up said she has anxiety, depression, and paranoia, though you might've edited that in in response.
Also, I love the nictating membrane. I've wondered before if that was a thing myself, given the eye differences between the queen and drones.
Brain:
Status: Melted from awesome story-telling.
Heart:
Status: Crying from beautiful wordsmanship.
Feelings for this story:
Status: Awe-inspiring. I couldn't even move to get into a more comfortable position while reading it.
Hmmm....you have my intrigue as well as an up vote...for now. Let's see where this story goes and hope Melissa doesn't end up dying from a surprise apple attack. That's some pretty awesome art by the way. Also the first sentence after she threw up seems to have one too many 'haves' in it.
:D
Keep posting good stuff, man!
Pretty sure that careful is supposed to be 'carefully' here. Still doing great work though, so keep it up.
Well lets check it out.
It seems pretty good so far. Wonder where it's going though. I'm usually not a fan of ponies in the human world. Not really because the story you are writing is bad. But it is because I often read stories for something new and exciting and I find the human world setting slightly dull. However this seems good so ill fave.
Oh, hey - just wanted to ask, is this a PAP story or part of the more specific stories, like LPOE?
6239170
It's a side story, so it would be happening at the same time of Last Pony on Earth!
And thanks to everyone else for your comments! I'm screaming with happiness :,D
LOL
May I just ask but is she a rape victim? That was just the first thing to come to mind at that statement
And that first picture is adorable
6246232
You'll have to find out :O No worries they'll be trigger warnings for those when they show up. And thank you! Heehee :)
6247501
That's headcanon till you say so
I see you there, classy fallout reference. Can't get by me.
Oh my god... this just went to a whole new level of intense.
Holy shit!
I never thought about what happened to people who were driving, flying, etc, when the change happened.
And here is one such unfortunate person.
Jesus.