Ha! I know right? Well I just thought that I'd answer these ridiculous questions so if anyone sends you this silly image, just go ahead and use my answers!

First of all, you spent a minute? A minute with who, your delusions and beleifs?

Anyway

Hmm, you love the opening sentence, do you now? This oughta be good. Turns out, it's a big pile of bullshit just to try and spread their lies to lure people in to their belief. So first of all, what exactly is going on with this world today? I know there's terrorism, murder, bad political fights, and Kim Jong In, but that's just because people are making a big deal out of everything. And I agree, things could be better, but it turns out it's the most peaceful time in human history! It's just the Christians think that the world has gone to hell and things couldn't get any worse just because the media spreads every little thing. And yes before you get onto me, of course shootings and terrorism is awful, but the media focuses on that for weeks at a time so that the next terrorist can plan and do his/her crime. And there's a perfect explanation that murders and crime is up, wanna know why? ...That's right, because the population is nearing 7.6 BILLION. And something can't become a ghost town if it doesn't exist.

Next line!

Let's just skip the your name is God.

I have time for you, except I don't want to spend my limited time on something I know that doesn't exist.

You love me? And you will always bless me? Bullshit, you even kill your own argument a couple sentences later when you say "I will deny you on Judgment Day. What I say I keep"

NEXT!

You're always with me, huh? Creep.

Nah, I'll pass on those sixty seconds I'll never get back (Except I'm making this post)

NEEEEXT!

We'll skip this one because it's rather boring.

N-N-N-NEXT!

No, I will not help you.

Oh, you'll help me if I don't delete it? How so? Please give me one case that prayers were actually answered by God- Oh? Quiet Time? Oh, okay, DON'T WORRY EVERYONE, GOD EXIST BECAUSE I GET FREQUENT QUIET TIME!

NEXT LINE!

Dare you on what?

A blessing is coming my way? Would you care to tell me? Oh but wait, you don't exist to care to tell me!

Drop everything and pass it on? Why would I drop anything to pass on something that was wrote by a delusional person that would annoy people?

NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT!

Why are prayers getting shorter? Probably because more and more people are losing faith in you. Mainly because we keep proving time and time again that science is greater than religion and because you fail to prove your existence!

Why are bars and clubs enlarging and expanding? Probably because the population is growing! Did your weak brain ever think of that?

Do I have to keep doing this? Alright, NEXT!

Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity instead of God? Probably because celebrities are real, can make a difference, and can change the world. And it's very difficult you because, again, YOU LACK EVIDENCE OF EXISTENCE AND ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING!

NEXT!

Will I waste my time and do a pointless prayer? Or will I move forward with my life and no longer worship something, that again, DOSEN'T EXIST!

Next!

Not going to forward this piece of shit and I wonder why.

Then here's that Judgement Day line.

And finally, the last 'NEXT!'

It's just bullshit.

And that was about 15 minutes of my life wasted to make a point. Well anyway, I hope I wasn't too much time, but I've thoroughly took my time and answered the questions that I shouldn't even have to answer.

And now for my favorite line from a certain celebrity

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” - Richard Dawkins

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For my opening sentence, I'd like to thank you for not simply posting some dumb image, but taking more than 60 seconds to actually share your own thoughts and provide something worth responding to and having a conversation about.

On to that topic. I am curious what the target audience for this is supposed to be? I don't feel like it is targetted at us to encourage or convince us to give God another chance. Not only does it completely fail to give anything resembling a compelling reason to believe, overall it feels instead like it assumes the reader already accepts the existence of God.

It feels more like it is intended to be shared internally amongst the faithful. I have noticed that even more than their efforts to recruit new members, a lot of effort is spent in the Jesus-fandom trying to shore up all those doubts and slippings of faith. There are people who, like us, don't actively spend very much conscious thought on God/Jesus. Day to day life is more important. But they still call themselves theists/believers because, when it is brought to their attention, they claim membership. Others dwell on the topic more, and take it upon themselves to get other members to dwell on it more.

If we view this pile of words under that lens, it makes a lot more sense.

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What I do is weird, even to myself.

I, for some reason, pretend that I'm talking to a person as bystanders (Readers of the post) observe the argument and side with what side they choose.

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When one door closes, I open two more.

My first thought is the exponential door explosion you get by closing all of the doors repeatedly. I don't know how that would be useful, but it would be fun.

6268490 This bullshit definitely sounds like it's targeted towards religious people who might be having doubts about their faith more than atheists.

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Yeah, that occurred to me, but hey, I wanted to do this.

6268490 I'm confused. It tells me that I shouldn't pray. Then it tells me that I should. Why so confusing, God?

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Conflicting instructions and wisdoms is an old power trick.

You write X in one sermon, Y in another, and have both in a big, thick book most of your flock/followers/zealots/whatever will never, ever actually read cover to cover?

Well, you can use X when it benefits you, Y when that one does, and if anybody calls you out on this bullshit, their clearly just not 'wise' enough.

It's why—and the exact reasoning for it too—Catholics used to have a hard ban on non-priest reading the Bible, and performing all sermons in Latin. Least the commoners not understand what God 'really' meant.

6269097 But why would one put the conflicting parts on the same page? Especially if the author was God. He was supposed to be the best, right? So why do I feel like a better writer than God?

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Because anybody gullible enough to pass on chain mail clearly doesn't have the attention span to remember more than one sentence at a time, so it's perfectly safe.

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Probably because celebrities are real, can make a difference, and can change the world.

I agree with everything else, but this is not true.

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Well Celebrities can change the world to an extent. Even like, moving a rock is technically changing the world and is more than God himself could do.