Seashell by Winston
Romance Slice of Life
22,317 words total

Grammar: 10/10
No issues with grammar or spelling noted. The worst I could say is that there were a few spots that felt a tiny bit clumsy, but even that was barely noticeable.

Characterization: 10/10
Canon characters were solid, and felt very accurate to their show portrayals. This was set a considerable time after the events of the show to date, and the development of their characters in those circumstances felt natural given the events portrayed in the story.

Use of show canon: 8/10
There were a couple of things that felt a bit out of place with the tone of the show. First, the description of the skirmishes during the Griffon war felt wrong. To my mind, that kind of brutal massacre doesn't really make sense with what we know about pony society and culture. The normal depredations of war would have been enough of a motivation for Rainbow Dash's character portrayal without adding what in the real world would be considered serious war crimes. It certainly doesn't fit the character of Rainbow Dash to have been involved in them.

Second, the portrayal of Equestrian society as being intolerant of homosexual relationships also does not ring true given the tone of the show, and it's inclusiveness. I would not normally have taken points away for this, but it's not handled consistently. It's more of an informed attribute that we hear talked about; but actual character interactions, such as those of the florist, or Azure Sky's dialog, contradict the informed attribute. The political ramifications of Twilight and Dash's relationship, given their positions as ruling Princess and Captain of the Guard would have been sufficient to explain the distance between them and the subsequent social reaction.

Plot consistency: 10/10
Solid and well-developed all the way through.

Use of OCs: 10/10
Sunburst's character is very well developed. The use of the epistolary format is a supremely effective platform for providing an intimate glimpse into her mind, and none of it felt like an exposition dump. The contrast between Sunburst's isolationist personality and the generally social nature of ponies was handled subtlely and effectively. Although given very little time in the story, Azure Sky felt real and unique, not just another Twilight clone as is all too common for similar characters in other stories. The letter at the end certainly helped with this.

Coherence: 10/10
With the exception noted above, the story was consistent and coherent all the way through, pacing was brisk but did not feel rushed. The entire thing flowed smoothly from beginning to end. I never once felt like it was moving too fast or too slow, and the story felt complete, nothing missing, nothing overdone.

Extra things depending on genre: 10/10
Slice of Life is certainly applicable. Romance is hard to say, since it's Sunburst's inner conflict that's the focus of the story, but the TwiDash relationship is a good deal of the later motivation for her actions and thoughts. There's a solid argument to be made either way, so I'm going to say that it fits.

Touchy topics, if any are present:
Gore, death, mutilation: 1/5 for a deduction of 2 points
As noted, the war atrocities described felt out of place for Equestrian culture; but they were handled realistically.

Total: 66/70 for a score of 94% - Accepted

Additional comments:
I had had this one in my Read Later list for a while, so the opportunity to review it was welcome. I did find a few flaws with it, but they were not bad enough to keep me from enthusiastically recommending it.

One personal note, however. That unpleasant construction "fillyfooler" really needs to die. It's feels far too derogatory; particularly as "filly" refers to a sexually immature equine, and thus sounds much to close to "kiddie fiddler", aka paedophile. Plus, as mentioned earlier, it is a projection of real-world hang-ups onto a world that is consistently portrayed as profoundly inclusive and accepting in canon. I cannot see any reason that would not apply to homosexuality or any other minority sexuality or sexual identity. I found myself jolted out of the story by it, it felt so out of place; but I realize that's a personal reaction, and did not deduct points for it.