For thousands of years, I lay dormant! Who dares disturb my—Oh, it just Zodiacspear with another review for the PCaRG. Look, someone tell this idiot to get more original with his openings to his reviews so he doesn’t bring calamity to the world by shamelessly ripping off popular culture to get a cheap laugh.

Thank you, totally-not-a-rip-off-of-some-popular-abridged-series guy! That’s right folks, I’m back from the frozen wastes limbo that is work and real life to bring a review of Mocha Star’s, The Storm.

As always, I will be focusing on Plot, Characters, Atmosphere, and Grammar for the review. So let’s snowball right into this, shall we? (You’ll get the pun after you’ve read the story.)

First, we have the story tags: Slice of Life. Very apt, nothing to say here. Then we have the character tags: OC. Now here is something adventurous. A story driven purely by original characters is something most people try to avoid because OCs are not (generally) seen as popular figures. We all know the dead horse of a topic of OCs and why no one wants to read about them. Most will argue they came to read about stories about the ponies they know and love, or they see OCs as shameless self-inserts into the world of pony who make themselves out to be all super important and by some Mary-Sueish way get with one or all of the mane six plus princesses.

This is NOT that. Not even in the slightest.

We read from the description—

Merry is lost in a blizzard with her crew, but it isn't long before she's alone in thoughts and then alone in her trek.

—that our protagonist is named Merry and that she’s lost in a blizzard.

Straightforward and to the point, an excellent example of how a short description can work. Especially for a short story of barely over a thousand words can be.

So, to make sure I cut my OC rant short, let’s drift into the review!

Get it! Drift into the review? Because blizzard… and…

I regret nothing!

Key Point - Plot: The plot of this little fic is pretty much explained in the description. Merry is lost in a blizzard, likely staring at the end of her ropes as she trudges through her winter wonderland, lamenting on her choices in life and her misfortune.

Not much to elaborate on this, for such a straightforward and short fic, the plot has to be in your face from the get go. One doesn’t really have the time to make a more elaborate plot, and this story does that phenomenally.

The ending? Perfectly played.

Key Point - Atmosphere: THIS is where the fic shines! The atmosphere set up by the inner monologue of the OC is what really pulls you into the scene she finds herself in. Dwelling upon her situation and thinking back on all that is truly important in life before whatever had dragged her out into the blizzard turns her into snow pony.

It’s a tried and true method in stories. Even if it’s been done before, the author does a great job of drawing in the reader to the mind of Merry and gives little glimpses into her life. Very well done on this one.

Key Point - Characters: There are only two characters in this fic, Merry and her mother. (Spoiler bar for obvious give away of the story’s conclusion.) Merry is a character who has some depth to her, we see a lot of the things that are very important to her, even if she hadn’t realized it before. The adventurous soul who took one too many a risk and got themselves lost in seeking their thrill. I certainly wouldn’t know anything about writing characters like that. *cough* Not at all.

However, because of the story’s length, Merry is also a straightforward character. The word count doesn’t really allow for a lot of characterization to make her really memorable, however, with the word count that is there, the author does a fantastic job with what they have. We learn a lot more about her during the conclusion where I found myself smiling. Again, I can’t go into it due to spoilers. Also, as a note, don’t read the comment section if you don’t want the story spoiled to you before hand.

Key Point - Grammar: I’ll give high marks here as I wasn’t once pulled out of immersion due to grammar. I didn’t really see any errors here whatsoever.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts: A nice, enjoyable one-shot that has the reader wondering why Merry is in her predicament until the very end. The conclusion had me smiling and remembering a similar fic I had written long ago. The fact the author took an OC and made me smile and enjoy my time shows just how well they can be used. Even if one is leary of OCs, I’m going to rate this as Must Read because it is exactly that.

I’m also going to take another page from Mocha Star and encourage people to vote and/or comment on the stories they read. They really do mean a lot to the authors, and it only takes a few moments to do.

...And I actually don’t have a closing joke today… My sense of humor must’ve frozen. Guess I’d better let it go…

Come at me, bro!

5911335
I like your puns, and the review was the best thing I've had in the fandom in days. Especially on a story I just thought of and felt for the season.

Unedited and not proofread, I'm pleased to have such high grammatical marks.

This excuses a personal tirade and rant about how I only get poor reviews, if any.

Lol
You've made my week, friend.

Thanks a thousand times.

5911335 Cool review.

5911335
Zodiac back at it again with the good review!

Honestly, how you write your reviews are really entertaining. I'm not sure if it's the formatting, or really just the use of basic blunt language that gives off a good show. Well done!

5911496
5911460 Honestly, guys, thank ya. Glad to know my reviews are so enjoyable. I've always felt that a review should be entertaining as well as informative and helpful to the author. I want folks to read them and feel entertained rather than feel like they're learning something.

5911381 Hey, I'm glad to know you enjoyed it! I can say that having a review, good or bad, tends to lift my spirits because someone took the time to read it and give me a summary of what they thought. True, we all wish for positive reviews, but sometimes a negative one is just as helpful, if not a little disheartening. Your story, however, fully deserved its rating.

I like your puns

I'm sure that of those who know me, telling me this will only encourage me to make more and usually the painful ones, and not to do it. But don't listen to them, what do they know?

5911335

My sense of humor must’ve frozen. Guess I’d better let it go…

Come at me, bro!