I'd like to start out this review by apologizing to the members of The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group and to, more specifically, Norris. I don't know what my problem is. I take too long to write reviews; I give the audience the belief that I will have the next review out within a week, and then I just glaze over it for a few months. I have no excuse: I'm lazy.

Since I'm bringing this to knowledge, after posting the review, I think it's best if I leave the group alone for awhile. No, I'm not leaving. I actually like it here. I enjoy knowing that people like what I write. I'm just going to take some time off -- write a few reviews on my own account maybe. When I do return, I will most likely get reviews out much quicker, as is the go of my short leave.

I'm going to clear my reading list, and start writing tons of reviews for stories I deem worthy of one while I'm gone. This will only be until I feel that I can keep up a good pace. While I'm at it, I can start working on the other groups I've been trying to work on.

Fine day it is chaps!

The first thing I noticed about Dusk Falls is its narrative. The first time I read this story I could only think, My ADHD is now HIV. The story constantly got lost in a jungle of details, leaving me stupefied. But that thought was quickly clouded as I read on. I can now confirm that the narrative is... not as bad as the people complaining say it is. When you take a look at most fanfiction, you will probably find a few lazily written fanfics -- some of these fanfics make the Feature Box. Now, these stories might have some hilarious humor or fathomable erotica (Maybe Both? ;) ), but most of the time their narrative has no personality -- meaning, it's nothing but dry semen: someone trying to squeeze out a turd with the hope that it smells like cinnamon (dry or wet). It's okay if you take a shit -- sometimes taking a shit feels good. It's not okay if you decide to not wipe your ass. Yet it's different with Dusk Falls: every time I read the narrative of Dusk Falls I get cameltoe -- AND I'M A DUDE!!!

This is exactly what's needed in fanfiction: narrative. There were some complaints -- some by me (rather wrongfully) -- in the comments, like I previously mentioned, about some of the details; how the author gets too locked in when writing. This got the attention of people like Horizon and... barbeque? But as I got further into the story, I realized how nicely it fit the tone. Celestia, a princess thousands of years old, is bound to go into great detail to describe a certain set of events. If a quill takes four words to describe (This quill is red.), there's a chance that with the experience Celestia has had over the centuries, she will describe that quill in a series of unorthodox sentences. This is very common amongst older literature. It was very common for the author to over describe a fountain pen back then -- just take a look at Shakespear's work and I shouldn't even have to explain. Sometimes Celestia gets lost in thought and that causes us to get lost in thought with her. I guess this is one of those flaws that are excusable when you really think about it. If you read the story and don't keep this in mind, you'll constantly get confused throughout.

Another complaint I found in the comments was the pacing. In shorter words: it is slow. I found this to be an excellent setup for the tone because it provided a constant suspicion throughout the story. What's happening? What will happen? Will it happen again? After every chapter, I found myself full of excitement for the next, just to see if what could happen will happen.

Even the characters set the tone well. So many of them are well rounded, even the most MINOR characters are given their own characterization. SPOILERS: At some point in the story Princess Celestia buys a hat from a griffin. Later in the story that griffin DOUBLE SPOILERS:is revealed to be a cultist.

If the narrative or characters won't interest you, the world building will. It takes a combination of locations from books, movies, TV shows, and real life places. It does an impressive job of giving you a vivid image of what Dusk Falls looks and should look like. Now, I don't believe my interpretation of the image of Dusk Falls is exactly what Dusk Falls looks like, but I like to imagine houses going up the side of a mountain; at the top, the Mayor's house, the bottom, the beach. Basically a mixture of Rio and some Arabian city in Soviet Russia on Mariana's Trench whatever. This is only my image of it because that's what I find peaceful.

Most people really enjoyed the ongoing social rivalry between Celestia and Luna. Basically, throughout the story Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are constantly bickering at each other. Not as in 'Oh, you hit me so I get to hit you back,' more like, 'I love you but I'm also on that thing at the end of the sentence."

Personally, while I did enjoy it, I more enjoyed Princess Celestia's morality as a princess. I'm not going into too much detail, but throughout the story, Celestia has to make a few... bad decisions to pay tribute to the right ones. This was another complaint according to... barbeque. While I see his point, keep in mind that this story takes place far before the show, and events like these are what has lead to the princess Celestia is today. She wasn't always the "All Wisdom Monarch." It makes sense for her to make these decisions the way she does. SPOILER: She has to make a sacrifice to save the world. That, honestly, is one of the best decisions there is even if ponies have to die.

My only issues were a few grammar errors. if I were to rate this story based entirely off grammar, I would give it an 8/10. While it's not exactly bad per se, it appear's constantly and can cause a few blares along the way.

The state of Luna and my relationship wasn’t the only thing alarmingly different, however.

This is one of the first rules of grammar you learn in school. While the teacher might tell you that it's better to use, "Johnny and I went to the store," over, "Johnny and me went to the store," this is only a fraction of what they tell you. In fact, if you flip the name and the I or me over, you can easily find out which one makes more sense.

The state of my and Luna's relationship wasn't the only thing alarmingly different, however.

Now, a side by side comparison:

The state of Luna and my relationship wasn't the only thing alarmingly different, however.

The state of my and Luna's relationship wasn't the only thing alarmingly different, however.

Which makes your brain less constipated?

This review might be short, but honestly, it was the best I could write. I tried to find something wrong with this story, but with little-to-no avail. The errors I found were so minor they weren't even worth a mention in this review. The complaints I listed made their point, but I was able to contradict them by putting a lot of thought into why it's this way. There were even times where I wrongfully accused a scene of being flawed, but I would be quickly flaunted by the next chapter. I did my best to not sound like an idiot in this review, which I probably will if you oppose of these opinions, but in my opinion, this is an impressive fanfic with an immersive plot that I must give high recommendations too. It's not for everyone, of course, but it is the most underrated fanfic I've read in a long time.

Write more Smoose tentacle erotica.

Revise the entire story then PM me when you're done. I'll willingly post a second blog, changing the rating to a 10/10.

This isn't a suggestion but mostly a recommendation: Try studying up on history and architecture. This should increase your world building flow. You'll be able to create a place and define its origin. Plus, you don't have to use the excuse, 'I got the name from nothing,' anymore.

Norris will always be a faget at heart.

Join his fan group:
NorrisTheYogurt's Totally Not A Cult Fan Group

5740314 First off, happy birthday! I remember that age.

Second off, no worries about stepping back. Good on you for seeing that.

Looks like a great review, too.