Hello! I’m Froggie, and I’m here reviewing ”Mi Amore, My Sunshine" by The Princess Rarity.

This is a story about a young Princess Cadence, whose parents are killed in a war. Princess Celestia, feeling bad for her, decides to legally adopt her. In the first chapter, which is all that’s been posted at the moment, we learn why Celestia adopted Cadence and see Cadence come home and give Celestia a disciplinary slip from school. She’s gotten in trouble for improper use of magic and verbally attacking a younger student.

I think one thing this story does very well is characterize Cadence. You can tell through her actions that she’s not adjusting well to her new position or the death of her parents. She still refers to Celestia as “Princess”, seems very uncomfortable in her presence, and is generally awkward and shy. I also liked Celestia’s character in this story; she seems more like a mother or sister to Cadence than she does a supreme ruler or deity.

That being said, the first chapter seems very rushed. It explains a lot about Cadence’s situation and what happened, and it’s definitely a lot to take in. If it were a oneshot, it’d make more sense to explain all that; however, the story is currently just the prologue. It was something of an infodump, and considering how this story is going to be a multi-chapter ordeal, something that could have been gradually explained and revealed to the reader rather than dropped on them all at once. It makes it harder for me to care about the characters if I already know everything.

Grammatically and stylistically, this story was pretty solid. I didn’t notice any glaring errors in the mechanics of the story, so I can’t fault this story any for that.

My advice, TPR, is to work on your pacing some more. This chapter might have worked better if you hinted at the story behind Cadence’s parents as opposed to telling us outright. We’d have more incentive to keep reading, as the only question I really had about the chapter was, “What exactly did she say, then?” If those questions were, say, “What happened to her parents?” or “Why is she so uncomfortable around Celestia?” I would’ve wanted to read more to get these answers, but I just wasn’t feeling that sense of curiosity, emotional depth, or suspense that multi-chapter stories can convey well.

Final Thoughts: While it’s stylistically and grammatically solid, it’s something of an infodump, and it’s not one that makes me want to read any further. Enjoyable, especially if you like fics that involve unanswered questions about canon things, but I just can’t make the connection to these characters.