You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

Princess Celestia has a problem. Or perhaps it's Twilight Sparkle that has one.

Every few weeks, an intoxicated Twilight Sparkle will randomly teleport into Celestia's castle in search of snacks or simply for a place to crash.

So what could this all have to do with Celestia in particular?

Now with a reading! HERE!

Twilight walks into Quills and Sofas to find out, to her surprise, that Chrysalis works there.

Art made by Kamikakushi!

Now with a silky smooth Youtube reading by Wayart Narration!

Spike, while browsing his selection of naughty magazines, accidentally coughs and breathes flames. The magazine gets sent to Princess Celestia. Panic ensues.

Chrysalis corners Celestia about an old debt.

Dodging ensues.

YouTube reading by Solar Pony!

Top three reasons to always use hair conditioner:

1. Soothes hair cuticles for shinier-looking hair.
2. Strengthens the hair shaft and protects against breakage.
3. A unicorn will come and totally chew you out if you don't.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Many have opposed Celestia and all of them have fallen, one way or another. Some she has slain. Others she redeemed. Her servants and friends have done great deeds in her name and her fame has spread throughout all of creation. She is the Sun in all of its glory.

And yet she finds that she cannot get a single child to believe she is even real.

Part of the Monophysite Quartet.
Ageless, Or Celestia Plays Dice With the Universe, Have You Considered My Servant, Twilight?, and The Esoteric Rites of Darkness (NSFW), all coming from a single story idea called "Monophysite" and exploring some perception/idea/theory about who or what Celestia is and how that effects her friends and loved ones.

Twilight Sparkle has been serving her country as the Princess of Friendship for over two years, and she thinks that it's finally time for her to take the next step in her royal career: she wants a fancy enchanted mane, just like Celestia and Luna. Luckily for her, the process behind it is pretty simple—all she has to do is go petition the legendary Author of All Beings. You know, the one that lives near the supermarket. Surely she'll be willing to grant Twilight her new magical princess mane!

Unfortunately for her, there's one catch: the Author of All Beings is a complete troll.

Thanks to ZuTheSkunk for the Faust vector. Thanks to Thornwing, Quill Scratch, Frog Myre, Manaphy, Oroboro, and Foehn for prereading.

Shining Armor decides he is Twilight Sparkle.

A Diamond Dog king, feeling bold after gathering an army of 100,000 dogs, decides the best way to flex his new muscles would be to invade Equestria for past perceived slights. As such, he sends a letter to Princess Celestia with a declaration of war.

It goes about as well as you'd expect.