Celestia talks to Luna after she sends Twilight a living pony as a Hearth's Warming gift. Things only go downhill from there.

Written for MagnetBolt for Jinglemas 2023!

Twilight and Luna have both been escaping to the moon for when the burdens of Equestria become too much, and they want to be absolutely alone - except it's always been to the opposite side of the moon to each other, so they've never noticed the other there before. Now that Luna's found Twilight, she'll have to fight her for it! This is obviously a love story about the inherent eroticism of a land based tax system.

Set in the timeline between Twilight's coronation and the events of the finale.

A commission for Iisaw, one of my favourite people.

After Trixie's latest show (which Twilight is attending as a sign of support and not because she's assigned herself as the magician's parole officer,) Twilight notices something odd about the showmare's autographs.

“Golly,” said a small voice, and Luna looked down into dull red eyes the exact colour of blood. A filly smiled up at her, no more than ten years old. “Who are you?”

Written for the 4th Cozy Glow contest, with the prompt Cozy Glow vs. .

TW: for implied off screen emotional abuse of a child.

They love each other. But they don’t always understand. Centuries of shared time still haven’t been enough for each sister to fully comprehend how the other views the world, and that’s just one of the reasons Celestia and Luna still have fights. And sometimes it’s the smallest, stupidest differences, like how Luna prefers the longest of baths and Celestia doesn’t…

Luna feels that being immersed brings a pony closer to her world. And Celestia doesn’t understand.

Some lessons require special measures. Along with a lot of water.

And tiles. There’s definitely going to be tiles.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

The Equestrian Royal Family always enjoys one Tea Break a day, where all members are in attendance. And today would have been no different if something else hadn't occurred. Luckily its something Celestia and Luna have dealt with before, though the fact that they are both extremely out of practice is something they should have taken into account before starting this venture.

The fact that the other two Princesses have never seen something like this before is perhaps another niggle in their little plan... if they had a plan to begin with.

Notes.

This started off as a dark comedy, 2000 words of just back and forth insults (before I added any meat to it). What it is now, I'm not exactly sure but lets just say it is firmly in the category of AU. Details of the AU are below the warning.

Warnings. (Celestia Chapter)
Sex - Mentions of acts, no smut held within.
Gore - Vague (for the moment)
Profanity - They swear like sailors.

Warnings. (Luna Chapter)
Sex - Mention of acts and conquests, no great detail given.
Gore - Rather prevalent in this one but nothing too gruesome... Though it depends on your imagination.
Profanity - They still swear like sailors.
Non-Con - Mentioned at a couple points.

Warnings (Epilogue)
Sex - Joked about and alluded to.
Profanity - Yes
Violence - Briefly

AU - Two Ancient Nutjobs.

Celestia - A far more vain and self conscious individual. Her mane colour is dependant on the season. Some minor mentioned changes to her wings but nothing massive.

Luna - A thestral alicorn with a slight scottish accent and an even more brusque nature. A head shorter than Celestia. Mane colour dependant on the phases of the moon.

General - Both can confidently measure their ages... In literal age's and their past both together and apart is not exactly all sunshine and rainbows. They are still sisters by blood, though the nation they were born in is naught but ash. Sort of a crack AU in a way.

Celestia, Princess of the Sun and Princess of Equestria, has led a long life. She's made a lot of decisions, for good and for ill, and she's decided it's time to quit. Twilight Sparkle, her faithful student and fellow Princess, will assume the crown and rule Equestria in a month's time with the help of her friends. But before that can happen, Celestia has to host one last Grand Galloping Gala. She decided it would go out with a bang.

That was last night.

Today, the Princess awakens with a ring on her horn and a strange earth pony in her bathroom. She's hungover, and the pounding in her skull triggers some memories of events she pushed far out of her mind for many years. Because Princess Celestia wasn't always a Princess or even Celestia.

And her new husband won't stop running his mouth.

(Cover art by cadillac_dynamite.)

Rarity generally tries to embrace innovation: after all, a mare who's always trying to stay ahead of the trend (or just outright create it) must be ready to accept the new. And the stress generated by a designer's life creates a certain need to... relax. Something where, quite frankly, spa sessions and private time in the designated screaming room aren't always enough to do it. So what's wrong with following up on a magazine article and personally learning how buffalo meditative techniques have been newly adapted for unicorns?

Absolutely nothing. Unless, of course, she recalls that some of her friends happen to enjoy pranking.

She doesn't always remember that last part in time.

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Despite Princess Luna being rescued from the cruel embrace of Nightmare Moon and returned to her sister’s loving side, there is a dark secret of death and betrayal lurking in the moon’s shadow. Soon it will threaten the Royal Sisters’ reunion and ignite the flames of their deadly conflict again, unless a mere child can show them the way.

The last Nightguard is coming. Nothing will stop him until his nemesis is destroyed, not even death.

Fantastic cover art by Harwick
Now featured on Equestria Daily

Editors include: Tek, Irrespective

It's almost unheard of for a mission to wrap up that quickly, and nopony's scheduled to retrieve them for three days. Which means Twilight and Applejack can use just that time in the griffon nation to -- play tourist! Check out some of the local attractions! And just spend a few uninterrupted non-crisis days together, because that hardly ever happens. So before they decide what to do first, they should clearly consult the local weather schedule --

-- forecast?
What's a...

...surely they'll be able to adjust. Or at least be capable of telling the police why they couldn't.

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