"Hey, I need to file an insurance claim on my house?"

"Nature of the damage?"

"Oh, a magical bear got dragged into town by a bunch of teenagers to impress their foalish crush and it stepped on my front porch. Also, the next week a god of chaos turned my lamps into sharks and now there's a puddle of milk in my crawlspace."

For Equestria? This is an absurdist tale. For Ponyville's insurance adjuster, it was Wednesday.

A slice of that life, starring the adjuster himself and everyone's ... third(?) favorite glasses-wearing foal.

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

This story is a sequel to Mistakes were made

With the local human having ceased wandering and causing ruckus he attempts - with Twilight's ever-patient assistance - to calm down, make it up to those that he needs to make it up to and generally live his best his life.

His greatest obstacle in this, as with most things post-arrival, is his towering neurosis.

And maybe the uncomfortable fact that he can't stop growing larger and more resilient with each passing day. And that not being belligerent to the wildlife gives him sufficient time to fully contemplate the breadth of his situation as a lone and isolated example of his kind in a world entirely not his own, try as he might to just ignore it and stop his brain from eating itself with irritating doubts and fears.

Other than that he's having a whale of a time.

This story is a sequel to You Can Go With This

Much to her surprise, Twilight receives an invitation to the Dragon Lands.

As it turns out, she is brought there under false pretences. A monster has moved in recently, and despite the best efforts of the locals they haven't been able to shift it. Could Twilight, being as how she has monster experience, have a look?

She has a sneaking suspicion it may be a 'monster' she's familiar with.

This story is a sequel to Scary Monsters

Following on from his jailbreak the local human finds himself in something of a rut, and decides that this is due to his nagging feeling that the previous matter had not been resolved to his satisfaction.

He decides the best way of rectifying this is to break into at least two castles, get locked up again and disappoint just about every single entity he happens to encounter.

Often while naked.

The local human, finding himself possessed of strength beyond measure in this strange world, decides to be a brutish nuisance. You know, running around half-naked, stealing cider and that sort of thing.

When his behaviour lands him in jail he casually breaks out and - more on a whim than anything else - breaks out the other jailbird too. Because that's mischief, and she had to have done something wrong, right?

They then run from Twilight, sit around a fire and sleep in a cave.

-

Ahahaha I got featured and I don't even have a picture what even is this.

When I first met Princess Twilight, she was confused, lost. Adrift in an alien world. I thought of her as a rich eccentric, certainly a foreigner. I humored her as much as I believed her, really. Even when she dragged me to the very ends of the world in her mad quest for a mythic well, I really did it all for her. I figured it would help her find some closure, and we could go home.

I was right, in a way.

Based roughly on the game 80 Days.

There exists in any given location either an inn or bar where the locals meet at the end of a long work day and trade drinks and stories. By the ancient laws of happenstance, the same must be true for areas where the permanent population is exactly one. Now, most would assume it would default to those creatures preferred drinking area in their own house. These people have never been to the only truly lonely place in Equestria. On the border of the unending sea and the badlands there sits an Inn, with a strange bartender. If one comes seeking riches or fame, he will gladly kick you out, stating the only riches here are booze and misery. But if you come for a strong drink and an ear to listen to your problems, then you have found your home.

Rocking the featured box again. Can I get a hoorah? 2/12/19 for those curious.

Aria Blaze is history's most prolific composer. Writing music constantly for upwards of a thousand years will earn you that title. Now, after a defeat which robbed the three sirens of a magic they've known their entire lives, she relies more than ever on her passion to carry her through an uncertain time. Whatever form fate thrusts upon her, she will never stop making music, and that's all that matters...or it would be, if she could get one roommate to stop pestering her, and the other to stop a downward spiral of self-destruction.

During the battle with the changelings, a trapped Discord manages an undirected spell that reaches across universes to bring an agent of chaos to Equestria. What's brought back more than qualifies.

Steam! Gears! SCIENCE! A very confused Spark! And, eventually, really good coffee.

Here comes Agatha Heterodyne--MARE GENIUS!