This story did not explode! What a relief and/or letdown.
Part of OPERATION CRACKFIC STORM 2024 ( group | stories ).
Thanks to Silk Rose for coming up with the idea, writing chapters 22 and 9, and developing the code; thanks also to Meadowsys for general code help.
Thanks to IrradiatedPirateBooty ( tumblr ) for the awesome character art.
And thanks to everyone in the comments who stuck around for the final countdown!