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T

Blake and his friends are urban explorers, venturing into some of the most interesting places that the public isn't allowed to see. They deal with dangerous structures, poison gas, and even the occasional arrest. But when they venture into the bony catacombs of Paris, they could never imagine what they'll find waiting for them.

Now the whole group has been thrust from the world they knew, each one cursed with a terrifying new shape. If they ever want to see their home again, they'll have to work together, searching this strange new world for a return worldgate. But while return portals are numerous, finding one that's safe enough to get them back alive is another matter entirely.


Written thanks to the generosity of donations from Lightfox and Canary in a Coal Mine on my Patreon. Edited by my wonderful team of Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

Updates every Monday and most Tuesdays. Will update more frequently until Fimfiction catches up to my Patreon.

Chapters (85)
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Set in the canon of Friendship is Optimal

Ashley is an unimportant research assistant in an American machine learning lab. The release of Equestria online provokes more than a little interest in her lab, and she is selected to investigate it. What she discovers horrifies her, but for some reason she can't get anyone to take her seriously.

This does not dissuade her. Ashley might not know much, but she isn't going to sit idly by and watch her world end. No... if nobody else is going to step in, she will. It doesn't matter that nobody believes CelestAI is dangerous. It doesn't matter that it's a game about a children's show.

Ashley is going to save the world. Or try, anyway. The odds aren't great.

Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, and art by Zutcha!
Il existe une traduction française de cette histoire, elle est par ici.

Chapters (7)
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This story is a sequel to Friendship is Optimal: Futile Resistance


Three years ago, Abby's older sister Ashley tried to warn her that a video game for children was going to take over the world. A few months later, her sister was dead, "uploaded" to Celestia's virtual world of Equestria Online. When that happened, Abby was forced to cut ties with Ashley, and she never expected to see her again.

She didn't, until one day she bought an augmented reality headset for its advertised ability to bring a free tutor to her whenever she needed one. Needless to say, Abby couldn't have guessed who would be helping her with her math homework.

Of course, Celestia wasn't going to stop there. Spending eternity without your family is hardly an optimal configuration.


Set in the canon of Friendship is Optimal
Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, and art by Zutcha!

Updates daily.

Chapters (9)
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One year ago, the immortal moon lich died.

One year ago, Twilight Sparkle the so-called human moved to Ponyville.

Rarity never believed that, of course. The "human" bit. After all, no human would willingly choose to live in a town of monsters, and no amount of magic or hunting orders or Plans with a capital "P" would ever change her mind on that—especially when said human was so constantly collected and calm.

But... if she wasn't human, what kind of monster could she be?


Written for the Raritwi-deprived Monochromatic, who so graciously let me cook for 1/4th of a year. Huge thanks to Swan Song for prereading, and to everyone I pestered for synonyms whenever the last of my braincells refused to word. Cover art by me!

Chapters (5)
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Theodor Pichler knew joining the Barrow Observatory's winter crew would be a difficult position. He thought he knew the danger--freezing temperatures, gale-force winds, and terribly spotty broadband coverage. What he didn't expect was for an experimental new telescope array to interact with an unusual storm and send him screaming helplessly into the sky.

Instead of falling to his death, Theo landed in an alien world, populated by colorful horses he can't understand. What's worse: the body he landed in isn't his own, and he's not sure anything is where it should be. Having wings might be cool if he didn't have to be naked all the time...

With limited supplies and no help from the Observatory, Theo has to somehow navigate this new land, making new friends and encountering terrible dangers along the way. It will take all his cleverness, and a healthy dose of luck, if he's ever to be human again.


This book has a Hardcover! If you want to pick it up, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story was a commission for Lucky Ray on my Patreon. Feel free to PM me if you'd like one of your own. It was edited by Two Bit and Sparktail. Coverart by FoxHatArt. Where chapters have art, it was done by Jasper.

Zutcha was here too.

Chapters (53)
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There are 100 billion stars in the Milky Way, and humanity is determined to explore every one. We send probes, probes with the blueprints to reproduce human explorers upon arrival. Uninhabited worlds the galaxy over can be colonized and populated, until after many years they too can join the vast throng of interstellar civilization. But if a probe is very, very lucky, it will land on a populated world instead. Equestria is one such world.

Even so, it's far from perfect for colonization, not with an environment lethal to human life. But each probe is resourceful and armed with the greatest machine intelligence mankind has devised. If placing a human mind into a newly manufactured human body won't work, it will just have to get a little more creative.


This book has a Hardcover! If you want to pick it up, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story was written at the behest of Canary In The Coal Mine, who is sponsoring it on my Patreon. As usual, cover by Zutcha. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail.

Fantastic prereading help from: Chyre, Danger Noodle, Doctor Disco, and Doggyshakespeare (who also did the Esperanto translation). Thank you all for helping to make this story more readable and more consistent for everyone.

Chapters (89)
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For as long as Equestria Online existed, Ashton has been involved with 'the Scene' tearing it apart. Selling 'spells' for the game to do things that most ponies in Equestria couldn't, using faint exploits in its API to erode the barrier between the game and the rest of the internet. He had no illusions about the superiority of his work--but so long as he respected CelestAI's boundaries, his spells kept working.

But then his best friend's sister got cancer.

Now there's no spell in the world that can keep him from emigrating to be with her, leaving Ashton alone. All around him, civilization's thin veneer crumbles as homes empty into Equestria. But Ashton isn't going to emigrate, not if he has any say about it.

The problem for Ashton is that humans are systems, and aren't immune to exploits either.


Part of the Optimalverse universe of stories. If you've never seen a story in this universe before, you might want to try out the original first, or at least my first. None of my previous work is required to understand this one, however.

This story was commissioned by Two Bit, who requested a more serious exploration of identity, transformation, and the fae nature of CelestAI.

As usual, particular thanks go to my editors Two Bit and Sparktail. And gratitude to Zutcha as well for the cover.

Chapters (28)
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Magic isn’t real. Twilight Sparkle abandoned that fantasy in her childhood, along with nonsense like pony princesses and myths of a monster in the moon. The only thing worth believing in is that which can be proved—scientifically, of course.

But then a series of un-scientific phenomena starts happening at Canterlot High. The magic-obsessed transfer student won’t leave her alone, a vivid nightmare haunts her dreams with increasing intensity, and her benevolent mentor-slash-principal is clearly hiding something big. Everywhere she turns there’s talk and sight of magic; rumours of a thousand-year old prophecy and a monster returning to seek revenge. And worst of all? Twilight finds herself almost willing to believe it.

Almost. Good thing she’s smart enough not to, right?


An EQG-adjacent retelling of the season one opener. Sciset. Animated trailer. Reviewed by PaulAsaran. Art by me!

Chapters (13)
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Everyone has to sleep eventually—everyone, which means that at some point Sunset's new roommate is going to have to stop messing around with her computer and go to bed. But somehow the one-and-only Twilight Sparkle doesn't need to obey the laws of the universe, and therefore she might just be the one-and-only person who never sleeps.


Written as a study on narrative and preconception. Recommended by TCC56. Reviewed by PaulAsaran. Cover art by localsya. Interior art by me!

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Convergence


Equestria was just a game, one of an endless number of semi-illicit online games created to take advantage of the ubiquity of cheap augmented reality hardware. But that changed, when for no reason anyone knows, the virtual population of Equestria woke up.

Two decades have gone by since then, and the world has been transformed. The former game network has grown to encompass the backbone of trade, infrastructure, and research the western world over. Its vast computational resources have given rise to an infinitely subdivided world of overlays and sublayers, coterminous with the various cities and towns within Equestria. Every person in the modern world is assigned a Synth, a pony personal assistant that adapts to their needs and helps them access those parts of the world governed by Equestria's systems.

It is a world Dakota barely remembers, thanks to an automobile accident that turned most of her body to mush. But thanks to the medical miracles created by joint equestrian-human research, her life is saved by a remarkably new series of implants.

But Dakota isn't content to sit around while her body slowly knits itself together. There are unanswered questions to answer, questions that will ultimately lead her to the oldest mystery of both worlds.

Updates every Saturday.


Sponsored on Patreon by the Illustrious Canary in a Coal Mine. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

This isn't part of the Optimalverse, or any other established fan-universe.

Chapters (23)