At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."

* * *

A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Twilight thought it was all so real. The ponies, the grass, the air, the shining light of the day. With the breaking of a single connection, everything comes crashing down, leaving a very confused human girl wearing a VR headset.

Good thing she can relog.

Preread by Babroniedad, Twilight Connor, Drakos779966, and Doggyshakespeare.

Now featured in GMBlackjack's The League of Sweetie Belles!

Formerly preread by Silence_EXE, deadpansnarker, TRIBOT 3000, and Naga is alive.
Original fiction spinoff edited by Undyne Devotion, EverfreePony, and RQK.

Join the Pony-Me discord server! Or try the group, if that's more fitting.

Cover art drawn in collaboration between Momoruuu and myself.

Based off of a chapter from What If...?

Read Pony-Me™: Outtakes for scrapped content, sneaky references, and more!

Now with a (somewhat) spinoff story by Undead Equestrian Writer!

Reviewed by The Reviewers' Cafe!
Reviewed by My little Reviews & Feedback!

Table of Contents:
Wake up. - Bonus #2: Epilogue 1: Part 1
...Or go on. - Bonus #5: Epilogue 2: Part 2

The Pony-Me Universal Framework (As of the beginning of Part 3)

Set in the canon of Friendship is Optimal

Ashley is an unimportant research assistant in an American machine learning lab. The release of Equestria online provokes more than a little interest in her lab, and she is selected to investigate it. What she discovers horrifies her, but for some reason she can't get anyone to take her seriously.

This does not dissuade her. Ashley might not know much, but she isn't going to sit idly by and watch her world end. No... if nobody else is going to step in, she will. It doesn't matter that nobody believes CelestAI is dangerous. It doesn't matter that it's a game about a children's show.

Ashley is going to save the world. Or try, anyway. The odds aren't great.

Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, and art by Zutcha!
Il existe une traduction française de cette histoire, elle est par ici.

This story is a sequel to The Eternal Lonely Day

On May 23, 2015, the world ended. It wasn't violent, it wasn't bloody, and it wasn't even very dramatic. The entire population of the planet vanished. But they didn't stay gone; almost at once refugees started trickling back. Unfortunately for them, they didn't come back with their humanity intact.

Instead of a single species, the earth is now populated with Ponies, griffons, dragons, minotaurs, and even stranger creatures. What will the remnants of humanity make with their world? Will they remember human achievements, or slip back into primitive ignorance? Learn from our mistakes, or repeat them over and over?

People haven't really changed, only their bodies have. The world now comes with new threats, supernatural as well as mundane. Demons lurk beneath the sea, while strange spirits whisper promises in dreams. Empires rise, dictators control, and ponies have nowhere to turn for help. Nowhere except themselves, and old-fashioned hard work.

This story is effectively an anthology of episodes, each of which will focus on a different time period and different perspective characters.

Latest in the Last Pony on Earth series. If you haven't read that story, start there. This one won't really make much sense otherwise.

Editing provided by Two Bit and Sparktail. Art by the fantastic Zutcha.

This story is a sequel to Friendship is Optimal: Futile Resistance

Three years ago, Abby's older sister Ashley tried to warn her that a video game for children was going to take over the world. A few months later, her sister was dead, "uploaded" to Celestia's virtual world of Equestria Online. When that happened, Abby was forced to cut ties with Ashley, and she never expected to see her again.

She didn't, until one day she bought an augmented reality headset for its advertised ability to bring a free tutor to her whenever she needed one. Needless to say, Abby couldn't have guessed who would be helping her with her math homework.

Of course, Celestia wasn't going to stop there. Spending eternity without your family is hardly an optimal configuration.

Set in the canon of Friendship is Optimal
Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, and art by Zutcha!

Updates daily.

This story is a sequel to Convergence

Equestria was just a game, one of an endless number of semi-illicit online games created to take advantage of the ubiquity of cheap augmented reality hardware. But that changed, when for no reason anyone knows, the virtual population of Equestria woke up.

Two decades have gone by since then, and the world has been transformed. The former game network has grown to encompass the backbone of trade, infrastructure, and research the western world over. Its vast computational resources have given rise to an infinitely subdivided world of overlays and sublayers, coterminous with the various cities and towns within Equestria. Every person in the modern world is assigned a Synth, a pony personal assistant that adapts to their needs and helps them access those parts of the world governed by Equestria's systems.

It is a world Dakota barely remembers, thanks to an automobile accident that turned most of her body to mush. But thanks to the medical miracles created by joint equestrian-human research, her life is saved by a remarkably new series of implants.

But Dakota isn't content to sit around while her body slowly knits itself together. There are unanswered questions to answer, questions that will ultimately lead her to the oldest mystery of both worlds.

Updates every Saturday.

Sponsored on Patreon by the Illustrious Canary in a Coal Mine. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

This isn't part of the Optimalverse, or any other established fan-universe.

This story is a sequel to PaP: Bedtime Stories

Earth has faced terrible things since the Event transformed all living humans into ponies and scattered them across time. Equestria's own demons nearly wiped out civilization more than once, and devastating internal war nearly finished the job.

But now the worst threats are gone, the weapons ponies created to survive them are more dangerous than ever. The superintelligence Athena now rules the world, absolute authority over all civilization. With her power and intellect, she drives the survivors towards greatness, regardless of the body count along the way.

But there are ponies who resist, who yearn for something better. Jackie is not one of those ponies. But maybe they can get her help. It isn't like they have anywhere else to turn.

A ponies after people story. Requires knowledge from 'The Last War' to the end of Bedtime Stories to really make sense, but not necessarily full coverage beyond that.

This story is a patreon commission for the wonderful Lightfox Lowell, who provided the general premise. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail, cover by Zutcha. Thanks to my wonderful support team for making this insanity possible.

Updates every Tuesday.

This story is a sequel to Earth Without Us

On May 23, 2015, the world ended. It wasn't violent, it wasn't bloody, and it wasn't even very dramatic. The entire population of the planet vanished. But they didn't stay gone; almost at once, refugees started trickling back. Unfortunately for them, they didn't come back with their humanity intact.

Demons lurk beneath the sea, while strange spirits whisper promises in dreams. Empires rise, dictators control, and ponies have nowhere to turn for help. Nowhere except themselves, and old-fashioned hard work.

This story is an anthology. Each chapter will be independent, though some chapters may reference characters or events from previous sections. This story began as a series of blog entries, so those who read those may have seen some of these before.

In general, each of these chapters was written in an hour and was not edited to my usual standard, so expect a few minor errors (sorry!). Chapters are posted in chronological order, so new chapters may appear in the middle of the story.

One final note: This story has no regular posting schedule. It will update whenever I feel like it.

This story is a sequel to Meliora

Jacqueline Kessler was the Dreamknife, a being that crossed between worlds to dispense her own particular interpretation of justice. She served for thousands of years, living in the nightmares of dictators and murderers and all of the worst ponies that had ever lived.

But in the end, she cared enough about her world to be willing to let it go. She sold herself for a powerful spell in order to save a post-event earth from Athena's digital tyranny. Now she's dead, almost. There's just one piece of unfinished business. One last changeling to find...

If she can stop her mind from decomposing long enough to reach her.

A PaP story, also meant to be my farewell to a character I've loved since the early days of the universe. This story is also a commission for the wonderful Bitera. If you'd like a story like this, feel free to drop me a PM.

Cover is by Zutcha, in case you couldn't tell. The crew did the editing like bros.

Updates daily until complete.