I think I'm going to use it to purchase a Chromebook that I found at a local retailer. It'll allow me to use Google Drive (my preferred writing platform), and it will free me from this ancient, loaner netbook that I'm currently using.
Angsty, self-doubt blog of horseapples · 6:39pm Feb 20th, 2012
Notice: angsty rambling of self-doubt below.
So, as I read other fanfics on this site, I realize that mine (even though still very, very incomplete) is far longer than the vast majority of works on here. I'm forced to wonder why my view counts and rating are relatively so low compared to these other, shorter stories. Is my writing difficult to read? Is it a technical fiasco? Is the story (that you know of so far; trust me, it gets pretty complex) complete crapola? Or, am I simply the unofficial, red-headed stepchild of the Intarwebz?
I've always (in real life) had issues with motivation and extreme self-doubt. When I started writing this, it was like any other thing into which I poured myself. I was supremely excited about producing something that would be enjoyed by the masses. I want people to love (or hate, depending) the characters I portray, and I want to evoke emotional reactions from my audience (for better or worse). At first, I was anxious about getting Pen Stroke's permission to write a sequel to Past Sins. Now that I have his permission, and I'm two chapters into it (with a third in-the-works and many more planned), my anxiety has shifted to the question, "Is my story an insult to the masterpiece that is Past Sins?"
Don't worry about the future of this fanfic. I intend to finish Absent come hell or high water (or parasprites). But if you don't mind, I'd like your opinions on this.
Seems more like it is not attracting notice is all than that it is bad. Stories that do not get featured in some way do tend to get less views than others, and the current system (as opposed to the previous setup on this site) favors new stories over updates. Some cover art might help, as then it would not blend into lists of other stories so much.
having a cover picture would defiantly help since i only caught the story by glancing a sentence by pure chance. an excellent read so far and nice long chapters are fun
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I've tried asking for permission to use a few images I think would work as cover art, but all my requests have been ignored. I can't just steal someone's art, and I don't have the funds to commission one of my own.
Completely unrelated... "Jesus Comes To Ponyville" is a featured story on the front page of FIMF? Really?
I'm not going to actually single-out and name any stories on the site, but I've noticed a couple that got more views in their first day than there were words in the actual story itself. I just don't understand.
Well, this certainly doesn't help in the motivation department...
The Equestria Daily beta readers have refused to read my story or even consider posting it. They sent it back to me immediately (that is, within two hours of my submission). Why? Because it is based on Past Sins. I don't understand.
Oh ho!
Not only did EqD refuse to pre-read Absent, but my submission apparently broke some unwritten rule that is "common knowledge" on the blog, and I've been banned! 
I was feeling kinda down about losing the potential readership that usually accompanies an EqD post, but now the incident has simply pissed me off.
Now, I want to make this story as good as possible, just to show them what they didn't give even a chance. 
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Really?
Unless something needed to be done to show permission to base it on Past Sins had been given, I would not think there would be anything to prompt such a response. Even then they should at least give a chance to correct the mistake.
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My submission (paraphrased):
Here's my story! Oh, look. I got permissions, too!
<all the info they asked for in their submission guidelines>
EqD's response (paraphrased):
ZOMGBANNED!
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I suppose this kind of proves some theories stating EqD does not want to post fan fiction and only does so because they feel they must.
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It certainly lends credence to the theory.
Like I said earlier, I no longer care that EqD refused it straight away. I'm going to show them (after several more chapters are published) that it was their mistake. Not trying to be pretentious here (really, I'm not), but I think the complexity of my plot, as planned, rivals that of Fallout: Equestria. I want to add something to that, but I won't because it might be a spoiler.
OK, now I'm ticked off...
I didn't find out about Absent until last night when I finally got around to doing a search for "nyx" (and waded through all the stories by authors who have the letters n-y-x in their names). I've had my own Past Sins sequel in the works for a while now -- I would be well into it, if I hadn't gotten sidetracked doing some short stories first. (Which I think will be a good thing in the end, since I've already improved my craft with those.)
And, apparently, I can once again blame EqD for my problems. I would have known about this six weeks earlier if they hadn't rejected it then. So... Welcome to the club! They also rejected My Little Twilight with a full explanation of, "We really don't take human ponies!", then went on within a few days to post stories with far more "human ponies" than mine. (Hint: In my story Twilight only mentioned that she'd temporarily transformed herself into a human. Apparently that made it a "human ponies" story to EqD? Or did they really reject it because it was a MLD spinoff?)
Pen Stroke gave me permission to write a Past Sins sequel, but warned me that some people would hate it merely for being a spinoff of Past Sins. Wild_Heart, author of Point of No Return (the most worthy Past Sins sequel that I've read) repeated that warning, with the implication that he'd gotten a lot of flak over his story. And now... Now I find out that writing a Past Sins sequel will make my name "Mud" over at EqD, even more than it is already?
I have a stubborn streak, and this kind of thing only spurs me on (so to speak). It just makes me want to write the story that much more. However.... I already decided after the MLT fiasco that I probably will never submit anything else to EqD again. I don't need that kind of stress and hassles and guessing games in my life. Personally, I think EqD should get out of the fanfic business, if they aren't going to do it right. FIMFiction just keeps improving, after all.
On that note, how about a group here on FIMFiction for stories with Nyx? (Granted, there's only a few thus far.) There's the Nyxian Alliance over on DeviantArt, so it seems like a FIMFiction counterpart would make sense. EDIT: Haha, now I see that such a group already exists too! It's called Past Sins.
As for Absent, I have yet to actually start reading. Almost 65,000 words? Clearly I have a lot of catching up to do.
73882 "Almost 65,000 words? Clearly I have a lot of catching up to do."
Better get to it before the end of the month. It's about to be closer to 75 000.