Guess today is just another one of those terrible days; it's been now over seven years since my mother died, and a bit more than two since my aunt passed.
I'm going out with some friends to a medieval festival today.
It's quite a drive and weather is expected to be rather hot, but we'll drive anyway and have a good time. In all honesty, for me its more about going out with my friends than the festival itself. It will be nice.
Do you know those days where you get up from bed, tears running from your eyes for no reason and you just know "this is going to be a shitty day". Those days where you really could use a hug from someone whom you trust unconditionally, who loves you unconditionally. Those days where you realize that there may be no one left to give you such a hug.
Take your favorite hobby, your favorite past-time. Perhaps you like to play games or sports, to sit down watch your favorite series, to assemble and/or paint miniatures, to care for your garden, or to read a good book (or gasp some fanfiction).
Now take away the joy you feel doing that. And no, not because you had enough fun doing one thing and now want to do something different.