The Cancer Destroying FiMFiction · 4:51am Dec 1st, 2012
There is an insidious darkness lurking in the heart of FIMFiction, and indeed the rest of the world. A vile disorder so wretched that I almost hazard to bring it to light for fear of frightening small children and driving the elderly into their graves from sheer terror. This is not a matter for the faint of heart, feeble of spirit or wavering of courage.
I speak, of course, of Hugboxing.
Hugboxing, a word roughly equivalent to circlejerking, has always been a hobby of the perpetually down & out, and it is no surprise that it is especially prevalent on the internet where those of deviant sensabilities get together to reassure each other that they are special snowflakes. Hugboxing comes in many flavors, but these are the most prominent ones you may encounter in this bordello of whorsely sins:
1) Blogs complaining about the Cancer Destroying FiMFiction. Generally, the targets of these are clop, or clop, or clop, or silly one-shots, or hugboxing. Fuck that last guy, seriously. Fuck him.
2) Having been rejected from EqD. This one demonstrates two key flaws in hug boxes. First, no matter how loudly you feel the need to declare that you don’t care, the fact that it (whatever it is) caused you to feel the need to comment demonstrates that you do care. Secundus, it prevents moving on. Instead of correcting that comma splice (the original blog was deleted, much to my chagrin) and making your story 5% less suckier, or trying to make the next one better, you’re stewing over bullshit. Pony bullshit.
3) Announcing that one is quitting the site/fandom/Earth. (Again) These tend to get deleted when the person comes back. First of all, announcing this only makes your haters rejoice, and zweitter it is a blatant, annoying, demand for people to beg you to return. Fuck off if you want to, saying goodbye is nice, but I really don’t care why.
4) Complaining about popular opinion, whether it is the contents of the featured box or secret conspiracies to downvote your stories. Also this shit group. I don’t even know what to say, except ... no, I really don’t know what to say. Get a life doesn’t even fucking cover that shit.
5) Whining about people being mean to you.
6) Dogpiling on already downbeaten stories or individuals. I’ve talked shit on the group that specializes in this before, so we’ll move on.
Hugboxing always shares one thing in common, it urges people to remain as they are. It encourages individual and group stagnation. It wastes people’s time; time that could have been spent improving or subverting your frustrations into something productive (like a pony story? I’ve heard some people enjoy reading those). It destroys the individual creativity and all directions at once beauty that made me fall in with this bullshit. It has all but rotted Twitter, Tumblr, Something Awful, and other internet hellholes into an oblivion of infinite reblogging/retweeting/”goon”-bullshit.
But there is a more terrible danger to hugboxing, a danger that I witnessed this very night. For while your beloved Fiddledeedeedeestickinbottoms was out he observed two gentlemen at a bar. These gentlemen were bemoaning some crap or other about women. At the other end of the bar were three others, engrossed in similar habits. A span of a couple hours was seen to pass, and the group of two had become a group of four. An hour later, the two groups had become conjoined, and by the end of the evening what was once two groups totalling five sadsacks and become a supergroup of eight.
It is then I was delivered upon the theory I will now espouse, a theory so horrible that I fear even to contemplate it. I call it The Hugbox Singularity. If this tendency of ego-salving and comisserating is not stopped, these hugboxes will grow, they will merge, they will propogate their habits, and they will not stop until the entire world is encompassed in a single, self-serving bitchfest.
I want to be clear, I am a bisexual male, but that, and I’m gonna say it again, ”that” is the wrong kind of faggotry.
So what can you do to stop hugboxing? Well, there are a number of useful policies, listed in the order of likelihood you may indulge.
1. Don’t initiate a hugbox. Before making a comment, blog or thread, ask yourself, does this really need to be said? Am I just blogging as a plea for attention and sympathy, or is there a legitimate point to be made. If the answer is no, then step away from the keyboard.
2. Don't participate in hugboxes. The next time you see an obvious play for sympathy and large groups of people flocking to the banner, don't join the pile. Keep your hands clean and in your own pockets.
3. When possible, pierce hugboxes. This is a hard one to do. I don’t expect it of many of you, but if you’re of the sort who’s up for a fight, then get stuck in there. Be that lone voice of dissent. Bring a touch of reality and perspective to the pity party and counter the crushing weight of those backslaps with an uppercut to the jaw.
Here’s some practice, cut into this blog for being 1,000 fucking words long, butcher the grammar or whatever you have to do. Then go forth. Keep your knives sharp and at the ready, and the next time you detect a hugbox, rip those fucking cuddlers apart. Someone threatens to quit? Tell them to get right the fuck off the website. A story with no negative comments? Be that critical opinion. Someone you like? Do them the huge favor of keeping them at the top of their game. I’ll thank you for it, anyone who isn’t a tiny-minded, egotistical bitch will thank you for it too, and those fools who block you or call you a troll? Yeah, they need the abuse more than anyone else.
And lay off the new kids without support networks. They don’t know no better.
WhinyblogendswithNuMetalsay, "go!"
Yeah, guilty of a few of those... my bad. I'm done with those kinds of blogs, seriously. This is all true.
So this is what category Device Heretic Syndrome falls in. Gentlemen, our studies on fimfiction continue to amaze me everyday.
Also, I noticed that that last group is basically a fucking offspring of TWE.
557867
One of those links is one of your blogs. Also linked to DontWannaKnow and few other people I enjoy. Friends don't let friends get away with shit.
557868
He would be the quitting one, I remembered to link him. Sadly, he deletes most of his blogs (so do IJAB and a few other culprits), so my citation options were limited (I have a bookmarks folder with like 40 of these things, because I am a sick, sick individual who enjoys watching others fail).
So, that's two more reasons not to do this shit. Because I will laugh at you and remember it, and you will be embarrassed and delete it a couple days later.
Wait... Bisexual male?
(leave it to me to spot those out of place comments in a blog)
As for everything else: HYPOCRITE! and I can't bitch about anything if you ALREADY DID THAT IN THE BLOG!
Also, I'm not one of theseimages4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110425031639/halofanon/images/6/65/Meme_-_Grammar_Nazi.png , so grammar correction is out for me
After reading this blog of yours with all the scathing criticism of hugboxing and attention-whoring, I found that the ad banner at the bottom said this:
Advertising programs scanned all those mean, hurtful words of yours and linked to something like that.
Seriously, my computer thinks that you are subjecting me to domestic abuse.
Maybe because I just watched a certain Monty Python clip... but the hugbox list of sins near the top helped inspire another crackfic idea...
I think I shall be poking fun at those who hate and complain about clop.
Done in a sort of Monty Pythonish way.
557878 Ah. Yup, the complaining about the clop and the feature box and Fimfiction in general blog post. Once again, my bad. I shall not be a catalyst for the hugbox's spread anymore by keeping my complaints to myself from now on.
And this is true, friends really shouldn't let friends get away with shit. I have committed shit. Thus, I approve.
Can't agree with that more. I myself need to learn more about literature so I can make intelligent criticisms beyond "Everyone's too happy and perfect, fix that."
I don't know, I have to be in the mood for it, which I rarely am. Ugh, too lazy/self-absorbed to even troll
I think this line of thought has too great a hold on me, actually. As my last blog post was about, I don't think much has really changed. Sure the trend now is to complain about it, but that's happened before also. More of a cycle
On some level, that just covers everything. I suppose my opinion is that speaking up for vanity's sake isn't necessarily a bad thing. Better than inaction
That one's still pathetic
>A story with no negative comments? Be that critical opinion.
Only if it deserves it, though. Don't be an ass just for the sake of being an ass.
557878
You obviously need to take screen-caps of such blogs then, so as to preserve them for all eternity in something other than a google cache.
Ah, hugboxing. This isn't just killing Fimfiction, it's killing fanficition forums in general. Hugboxes also seem to be the source of horrible fic genres where every single fic in that genre is exactly the fracking same, bar a few exceptions. The Conversion Burea is an example of hugboxing giving rise to something that has way too much misanthropy, and the whole Ponyverse Earth thing seems to be rising up to become a giant hugbox as well.
557893
I get tired of being told I use homophobic language by people who've sucked less cock than I.
557979
You ... are being a vexation. I'm pretty sure that is deliberate.
When I made this, I wondered if it would turn into a hugbox about anti-hugboxing. Then, we'll be onto some next level, meta, self-trolling bullshit, and I'll have no idea what I will do with myself.
On blogs, I mostly resist the urge to write one unless it touches three out of four: (1) bronies/mlp/FiMFiction, (2) real life, (3) my stories/progress, (4) it has been a week since the last one.
557986
Everything has something wrong with it. That is mostly my own frustration at writing stories and then getting nothing but favorable comments. I even sank so low that I submitted one of my stories to EqD just so someone would tear it apart. Criticism is how we improve, but certain individuals reach this point where people seem afraid to touch them.
558009
I forgot to mention those. Groups dedicated to a specific Universe or collaborative accounts or stories that glorify a particular group. Instant upvotes and flattery, regardless of value. Very annoying.
558032
I can safely say that the only one of those groups dedicated to an Alternate Universe that I enjoy has been the Lunaverse. Not really sure if it qualifies as hugbox, though.
Sadly, My Little Pony fanfiction was not my first experience with hugboxes giving rise to godawful alternate universes that refuse to die.
558032
Trust me, there is no way I would call you out on that and blast you to bits unless I strapped the bomb to myself, so sorry for any confusion made. and you use homophobic language
? the hell's up with that?
As reiteration from my last post, I really do notice those "one lines" that are just there to be there.
have a good night fellow male appreciator (seriously trying to come up with unique ways of calling people bi, gay, les, etc; so if you come up with one, be sure to post it
)
I can think of a number of encounters on this website where I'd have LOVED to be able to link to this. One of my pet peeves is seeing someone who just got rejected from EQD start talking shit about their website, and almost every damn time, everyone and their grandmothers will jump into the comments section to join the EQD-sucks bandwagon. What's the point? Even if you genuinely believe EQD is horribly mismanaged and aren't just bitching because they rejected this or that, what does participating in an endless back-and-forth moanfest do about it?
558032
What I mean is, if you're going to tear into a story, it should be 'your story sucks, here's how you can make it better' instead of 'your story sucks'.
Yo, wazzup? Interesting blog post.
Significant lack of me in that. I cry about the featured stories. Hell, I'm writing a parody of "The Wall" about this site.
557979
Everything you quoted and highlighted? Basically what I would have said if I were so eloquent and inclined - I have to give you props, that was well said. I smile sunshines ALL THE TIME.
557867
You are still awesome. We can accept that you're crazy. You write pony fiction - how sane can you BE!?
558032
I have to ask - what specifically prompted this? Was it actually a matter of a straw breaking some poor camel's back? Or has this been stewing for a while now? Either way, it had to be said, and at least someone with a bit of forethought and humility tackled it - you dissected the issues with just the right amount of FUCK YOU ALL-ery, and I'm left humbled by it's magnificent structure. Bravo, Fiddle. BRAVO!
I am so drunk right now.
Guess who's gone? Odd timing...
Ok, maybe there is something going on. Not getting into quality issues, but so many active people seem to be leaving. Is this fad dying already?
558439 You're too kind
Does this mean hotdeggidydemon is doing the opposite of this in public? I fucking love that guy (or more over what he does).
[youtube=sMnnYth3X-A]
Public trolling at it's finest.
558032
Thus is the burden of being an internet alpha-faggot, the beta-fags don't want to displease you.
Also I notice you seem to have done some extensive research (stalking) of the TWE and their various ego-erotic activities.
Now I have the image of someone showing up to an AA meeting with a flamethrower.
558625
Not really research. Most of the time when someone responds to me, I click over to their profile. While there I flip through their blogs, comments and stories, bookmarking everything that looks worth coming back to later. I have over 40 dramablogs tagged (or, where they used to be is tagged, most of them get deleted), several flamewars, etc.
558478
You have no idea how hard that makes me. Like, oh my, he mentioned me by name. I am his boogie man. And he deleted his blog and forum post. Holy shit, I got under someone's skin. In two conversations, one blog post and one forum post. I feel like I did some fucking Jedi shit.
If you want to make me happy, that's how you do it. Mention me in your quitting FiMFiction posts. Rant about how much better you are than me based on things none of us will ever prove or care about. Bring me to orgasm with your word-shapes of hate.
558439
NO! FLATTERY!
But I really did see two real life hugboxes collide last night. That's when I thought of the Hugbox Singularity, because I was drunk, and so I wrote 1000 words about stuff. And I did not get laid or do anything productive. There is a moral to be learned here.
558333
First of all, Homey Toast, this is how you do it. Regidar doesn't care that I might make fun of him, he only cares that I might mention his name. There is no such thing as bad publicity.
Anti-featured stories posts are the most popular ones. Like all bronies, I have no understanding of quality other than word count, and yours was too short. That is why Fallout Equestria is the greatest pony story ever, shortskirtsandexplosions is one of the most acclaimed writers, and one-shots are of the devil.
558064
I love the word "faggot." It is probably the most satisfying word in the English language. It alliterates with other good words, as in the phrase, "fat furry faggot fucker."
I use it too much.
"Gay" is another good word, if you draw out the vowel. "Gaaaaaaaayyyyyyy."
But I thank you for pointing out the unnecessary "I'm a special snowflake"-comment. This is how you do it, ladies and gentlemen and also talking horses.
558331
I enjoy your stories, I even enjoy most of your drama, but sometimes, you be trippin.
558732
Btw I've updated chocolate frosting. Maybe it can be a really late submission to the prompt way back where you have to submit a half finished story. Because at the rate it's going it will be finished sometime around 2016 and to be honest I'm too lazy to finish it. Just slap it on the pile.
558478 558331 557868 557950
558439 558009 558293
558333 557922 557926
Anyone want to review it, give some honest input or whatever.
OhGodWhy.jpeg
Also I am fully aware of how hypocritical this sounds, I know it looks like I'm attempting to start my own hugboxing match, but then again I posted it here. ....Just go review the damn story. With that in mind.
558248
Your one of the TWE right? Give me some constructive criticism.
558905 So, it seems name capitalization is for the weak, is it not?
558947
Damn right.
558953 TOLD YOU ABOUT THE "EYE'S" BRO
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw83_130049947676.jpg
And yet you left it the way it was
558905
Buh-wha? I'm not a TWE guy. I don't even know what that is!
(You mean 'you're' instead of 'your', though.
)
558732>>558905 Of course, I'm awesome that way.
559792
It is the primary reason I respect you, because you get it.
Which is kind of ironic, because Cobain didn't get it.
As long as they're talking about you, you're winning. As long as they feel the need to attack you, that means you're worth attacking. When they steal from you, that means you had something they wanted. Even, maybe especially, if they do it in a forum where you can't see them. All that matters is that I'm about to say "Regidar," and that someone else saw this blog and said "Fiddlebottoms."
Evil Homer mentioning me in his blog post did more for my ego than a million "yeah, way to go, Fiddlebottoms"-type posts on my stories and blogs, because it means I got him. I wasn't his buddy. I wasn't even his most prolific opponent. But those few jabs I made got him. I win. Game over, K.O., whatever.
So keep talking about me behind my back. My ears are burning, and I love that feel.
559873 Oh the irony. I can improve where Kurt left off.
But yes, it warms my heart when people wonder where I am. I'm not ashamed to say I'm an attention whore. I won't attention whore with my stories, though. I need to keep the writing pure, which is why I hate the likes of Kingofsquirrelz.
Although he did move all the stories into one, so I'll give him points to that.
558905
... what's the password, WoG? I tried hacking it to no avail. I failed @ haXX0r.
560509
shit
He's an imaginative little creature, yes?
I read Evil Homer's post. He spent more time talking about how much he hates you than about his dad having a fucking heart attack.
I am speechless.
560582
And I only noticed him a couple days ago.
Like I said, Jedi Mind Powers! Spooooooooookyyyyyyyy!
And this, ladies and gents, is why hugboxing is a bad idea. Because I am about to go get shitfaced. Many drinks will be on me. The liquor will flow rich and deep, and why? Because that dude is so trolled. His little hissy fit has enriched my life in ways that I'm not sure I ever expected of ponyfic.
560582
Well he does have autism (or rather aspurgers). That explains that.
560509
560530
Sorry I wasn't aware there was a password.img10.imageshack.us/img10/5562/spikey.png
I'm a fucking idiot.
Also I'm going to post a thread about this in the TWE. I did earlier and they deleted it, I knew they would so I copied and pasted it in advance.
560676
No you aren't.
Somebody's hate group just got shut down.
Author support or that proofreader group offer similar services.
560729
I am unable to find an appropriate response .gif, but i did burst out laughing. OMFG this is brilliant.
hahaueha ur avatar face uis a butt