And No Tear Will Be Shed · 11:05pm Dec 31st, 2020
First time in my life "celebrating" new year's eve in solitude. Edgy music from my early teens is playing, my back hurts, the whisky's bottle cap has gone missing and it doesn't look like I'll have to go search for it.
Or, to summarize it as a single image:
At this point, we're way past beating a dead horse when it comes to telling whatever joke we pull out of our arses to describe 2020, so I won't try to be creative here. As far as I'm concerned—and I can safely say this extends to the global population—this past year will be the one to write history books for the next generations. Our grandchildren will come to sit by the fireplace and beg us to tell a tale of our youth, upon which we'll pull out the toilet paper which we traded in for the house we will be holding that very conversation in.
We've been through it all, some more than others for sure, but the bottom line remains that at one point everyone must've had their breaking point. I had mine as early as April when all of my concerts I had booked tickets for tossed scary words at me. "Pending", "postponed", "very much fucking canceled y'all." Boohoo, I know.
It's not like this was the worst thing to happen to me personally, but it certainly was that exact moment in time that it hit me like a freight train carrying three million tons worth of face slaps that it finally wasn't a joke anymore. Once the silhouette was illuminated and we finally started to see first glances at just how astronomical the pile of shit we've stepped into really was and how it'll dictate the foreseeable future, that's when it was real.
It really was like a progression of emotions; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Virus here, pandemic there, total crisis everywhere. If I had known how long this mess would've been present, I would've turned off the news many, many months ago.
All that's really left to say is that 2021 can't be any worse. I'm not trying to jinx anything, because I whole-heartedly believe in those words. Anything else or I would've seen myself voluntarily walk into an asylum already.
There isn't much left to say and this post doesn't add anything new to the conversation. I just needed some personal closure for the most depressing year this world has seen in a very long time.
Maybe you do too. Happy new year.
Hi Selbi, happy near year! I hope even if you had celebrated it alone, you were at least in good company with people over the internet? I'm also looking forward to 2021 - I'm ashamed, angry, and sad with how 2020 turned out for me - so the feeling of things turning around is good and even a bit cheery.