Tales From the Trash Bin #2. My Little Toy Collection.

OFFICIALLY ADOPTED

So, after rewatching some old episodes of Buzz Lightyear and rewatching the original three Toy Story movies, an idea popped into my head for a story. This was a long time ago, and I was still fairly new to writing. Eventually, I realized that I couldn't make the story work so I gave up. Figured some of you could read it and enjoy another story that's been collecting dust on my desktop.

Also, I want to thank all of you who follow me and read my published stories. I'm always happy to see a comment on my story or even just to see the view count rise a little more, it always manages to brighten my day to see a red number next to that bell. Thank you all!

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There were only so many ways to describe darkness until a person was left with only one word to call it; boring.

After a long time of being trapped in a void of darkness that held no hint of salvation, the only word that could be used to describe it would be mind-numbingly boring. It became so monotonous that not even the word “boring” could be used to properly describe it.

Zurg, the evil emperor of Planet Z, felt dead inside as he confessed his blinded visor for the darkness that encased him. With nothing but his thoughts to occupy his time, the vicious cybernetic tyrant began to contemplate his life as an evil overlord of chaos and pain. His years devoted to the art of villainy had left him with nothing more than a single planet in a galaxy system that had been abandoned by the rest of the universe long before he was even conceived.

His evil endeavor to rule over the entire galaxy had been thwarted more times than the villainous emperor cared to count. Each evil scheme was thwarted in what felt like under half an hour by Zurg’s eternal enemy, Buzz Lightyear. No matter what he would throw at the space ranger and his team, each of his fiendish plans to conquer the galaxy had been foiled. Against all odds, Zurg was continuously beaten by a boy scout, a janitor, a living trashcan, and a prissy princess.

It nearly drove him to madness as he remembered the many times he was beaten by Buzz Lightyear and his band of miserable misfits. It was as if the universe itself had conspired against Zurg’s evil plans for conquest, almost as though some guiding force had always given his enemy the upper hand in each battle so that the sickening peace that persisted in the universe could remain undisturbed.

“Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, come in Star Command!” A booming voice desperately called. The sounds of explosions and and chaos rose with the sudden music that played on the battlefield outside his prison.

“Buzz Lightyear,” the prisoner seethed.

“HELP!” He yelled out.

While it had sickened him to resort to something as pathetic as asking for help, he would make sure to rectify that ailing sense of self-loathing by “rewarding” whoever helped him with a one way trip into a black hole. Thus, balance would be restored and he would be able to erase this moment from his memories to ensure that no one would find out about his capture.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle, though most people just call me ‘purple pony,’ “ she introduced.

“I am Zurg, Emperor of Planet Z, and I demand to—“

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Twilight interrupted as she lazily waved of her front hoof in the air, “I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but that’d be a lie. I just got you out so you wouldn’t interrupt my programs.”

“You dare interrupt the mighty Zurg, scourge of the universe, evil mastermind extraordinar, lover of exotic cheeses, and arch rival of the infuriating space cadet, Buzz Lightyear!? Purple pony, I’ve incinerated my own servants for less than—“

“Ugh! Could you keep it down, I’m trying to watch Netflix!” She complained as she returned her attention to the large screen, watching one of Zurg’s many battles with Buzz Lightyear.

“Where did you get this recording of our fight?.. More importantly, why do I look so weirdly colorful?”

“It’s a cartoon, you’re a toy, end of discussion. Now shush, I’m watching it,” Twilight explained as she turned her attention back to the screen. Zurg followed her gaze to watch the colorful imitation of himself scream out in anger as Buzz Lightyear foiled another one of his attempts to conquer the galaxy.

“Curse you, Buzz Lightyear!” His imitation yelled.

Zurg continued to silently observe the screen as it showed the rest of the events play out from Buzz Lightyear’s perspective, traveling back to Star Command to celebrate his recent victory with the band of misfits that made up his team. Zurg’s free hand clenched in rage as the boy scout prattled on about the virtues of good and how evil would never triumph until the screen faded to black and presented a long list of names. Before Zurg could read most of them, the screen shrunk down to the left corner as a large text box that counted down to the “next episode” appeared on the screen.

Before the timer could finish it’s countdown, Twilight pressed a button on the large pad in front of them, causing a booming and confident voice to speak to the pair of passive observers.

“Calling Buzz Lightyear! The Galaxy’s greatest hero!” The voice boasted. “Skilled, courageous, and ever-vigilant. Leaping into action, Buzz Lightyear hurtles to the rescue! His ongoing mission? To protect the universe from the dark forces of evil! These are the Adventures of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command!” A series of scenes showing Buzz Lightyear and his many battles played along with the introduction, summarizing thee many adventures he had on his disgusting quest for peace across the galaxy.

“What is this strange documentary? Is this part of this disgusting Buzz Lightyear exhibit?” Zurg asked.

“It’s a cartoon,” Twilight answered again. “It’s what you’re based off of, now shush!” She commanded.

"You dar-"

“I will rip out your batteries,” she threatened.

“It’s simple! I’ll just use my rocket boots,” Zurg explained before he pressed the emblem on his chest. To his great shock, instead of the button activating his rocket propulsion systems, a recording of his own voice played with a slight audio distortion.

“I am the emperor, Zurg. Your insignificant threats don’t frighten me!, Lightyear.”

“What the?! What happened to my armor? Oh, don’t tell me one of those brain buckets tampered with it again?” Zurg begged as he pressed the emblem on his chest again.

“Surrender Buzz Lightyear, I’ve already defeated you!… Wait, No! Don’t you realize the time has come for us to join forces?”

“I would never say that!” Zurg complained as he continued to play with the button on his chest.

“Together, we could rule this quadrant, and then, the galaxy!… Buzz Lightyear, it’s time you learn the truth… I am your father…. Now, my son, join me or prepare to meet your doom… Hahahahaha!.. I shall destroy you with my ion blaster.”

“Grrr. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?!” Zurg shouted as he continued to repeatedly press the button.

“Yah!.. Yeh.. Ah!.. So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time.”

“Will you stop it already?! It doesn’t work, it’s a toy, you can’t fly, PERIOD!” Twilight shouted as she pressed a large button to rewind the footage on screen.

“You know, for a Princess of Friendship, you’re not very princessy, of friendly. Not that I’m complaining about that specifically.”

“Well, I had what some would call, an unstable existential crisis, when I found out that my whole life was a lie. I mean, I thought I was a ‘Princess of Friendship’ but the truth was that I had no friends. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash,” Zurg refused to believe that last one was a real person or pony name. “They were all just drawings. Even when I met their toy counterparts in this world, it felt… Wrong to act like we really knew each other. They don’t know me, they know her, the Twilight who could actually do magic and fly, the princess of friendship, and the overall greatest pony alive! And then, there’s me, a chunk of plastic that was made on a factory line in China. Just give it some time, you’ll probably have an emotional crisis too. In the meantime, could you try to stay quiet while I relax?”

“Perhaps we got off on the wrong appendage, I’m sure if you looked inside… your um… That… That thing that makes noise in your chest and pumps blood… The um….”

“Heart?” Twilight supplied.

“Yes! I’m sure if you looked deep inside that hideous organ, you would see that we have a lot in common.”

“Firstly, we’re toys, we don’t have hearts. Secondly, the only thing we have in common is that we’re toys.”

“Now that’s not true. Just from a glance, I can tell that we have lots of things in common, like… We both have a good sense of fashion, purple really suits you. Although, it personally suits me better.”

“The colors on our bodies were a decision made by a board of adults to market us to children. For me, purple is considered a female oriented color, and since you’re supposed to represent an evil overlord, you were given a royal purple color for your design to make you fit with the character and persona they made for you.”

“… Well, we’re both people of high intellect who are surrounded by idiots.”

“I’m a toy with ample knowledge of a fictional subject that can’t apply to this world and any achievements or scientific ‘knowledge’ you have is just another fictional subject that pretends to hold scientific proof of its fictional concept,” she retorted.

“Um… We both want to take over the universe?” He guessed.

“In the words of a big red cartoon stallion, ’Nnnnope’.”

“Fine! We, uh… both want to return to our respective universes?” He guessed again.

Unlike his previous arguments, Twilight didn’t raise a point against his. Instead, she chose to stay silent as she pressed the largest button on the board and played the animated battle.

“Ah, I think I hit the nail on the head there,” he gloated.

“Shut up…”

“Oh, don’t pretend like the idea never crossed your mind, little pony. With our powers combined, we can conquer the galaxy! Then, you could return to your world and frolic in flowers or whatever it is a Princess of Friendship does.”

"What powers? I can't believe I have to keep telling you this, but we're toooys."

“You truly think that being a toy will hinder my plans at galactic conquest? HA! If something like that was enough to thwart me, I wouldn’t be the evil emperor of Planet Z.”

“Except you’re not, there is no Planet Z,” Twilight the killjoy corrected.

"Well how would you know? Have you ever seen Planet Z before?"

Twilight's only responses was to point at the screen, as the device showed Zurg choking one of his minions on Planet Z.

"... That's just more proof that it exists," Zurg retorted.

“I have an evil word of the day calendar, and I’ve been just dying to use the word ‘collude’.”

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Tales From the Trash Bin. (Dani Phantom. Pt. 1)

Tales From the Trash Bin. (Dani Phantom. Pt. 2)

Tales From the Trash Bin. (Scott Howl)

The First Tales From the trash Bin. (Pearl)