Life and The Other Thing · 6:52am Oct 7th, 2020
I have been so desperate now to get back to writing for such a long time but I just cannot seem to get myself to sit at my PC, in peace and quiet, with free time all to myself, and actually type anything. I keep mulling over the aspects of the story that I do have a lot of notes for. The next chapter is of course all planned out - I just need to sit my arse into my office chair, and actually construct something with those ideas, beyond just complaining about not being able to do so.
I did finally manage to escape my job as a customer service representative. Here's a tip for the new players - try as hard as you can to avoid ever having to perform technical customer service on the phone ... it's an intense, thankless business. I watched that company and its customers destroy the souls of some very lovely people I worked with while I was there. That being said, I am now back to Software Engineering, which has meant blowing a lot of dust out of my mind. I have been collecting cerebral cobwebs and dissonance issues now for over eighteen months - it certainly feels nice to write some code once more.
It remains to be seen if I can actually make a go of the job! I have everything crossed that it works out okay.
The other task I'm presently dealing with is writing my Will. Since I am now eligible for US citizenship (which I fully intend to obtain very soon), I figured it would be best to write a Will and Testament that is based upon US laws and customs. I still cannot see myself living to - let alone beyond - fifty years of age. In the years I have left, I plan to try and squirrel away as much of my money as I can so that the kids will at least have something there they can start off with. God knows they - and certainly my wife - do not need me anymore. I see that as a consequence of my depression, my sexual frustration, and a string of very bad personal decisions. Honestly, they would be better off without me. One less person clogging up the ridiculously small apartment all four of us reside within, and that half a million dollars would certainly be useful.
Provided I die of natural causes in the next four weeks, anyway. After that, my life insurance benefits get cut by 50%.
In the meantime, I shall code - and somewhere between coding, listening to everyone else in this abode screaming at one another, and shuffling between work and my bed - and hopefully push myself back into writing.
