Short Hand: Pinkie Gets an Upgrade · 8:06pm Sep 4th, 2020
Among the other artifacts of humanity in the Everfree Dump was, of all things, the fully armed and operational turret of an Iowa-class battleship, all three 16 inch guns intact.
And Pinkie Pie got to it first.
Pony: "Oh thank Celestia you're here Miss Pie! The children are getting restless! They tried to eat Shepherd!"
Shepherd: "Back! Back!"
Pinkie: "Time for the big guns!"
Pinkie Pie pulls out a field radio.
Pinkie: "Party 1, this is Party Actual! Fire mission is authorized! Over!"
Applebloom: "Confirmed, party actual. Designate target and method. Over."
Pinkie: "Target number Silly Face 227 mark 3, deluxe party package, rounds 4. Time on target! Over!"
Applebloom: "Confirmed, Party Actual. Target Silly Face 227 mark 3 locked. Time on target calculated, rounds loaded. Awaiting final authorization, over."
Pinkie: "Party Actual to Party 1, engage fire mission. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"
Applebloom: "Fire commencing!"
The mighty 16 inch naval rifles boom like thunder over the landscape, as multiple projectiles scream overhead... And detonate!
WHABOOOOOM!
And as the dust clears, several party tables, banners, cakes, punch bowls, a swimming pool and a bounce house have all landed in the clearing.
Pinkie: "Party 1, this is Party Actual! Target completely party-rized! Mission complete! Over!"
Shepherd: "You take it so seriously...
Pinkie: "Silly Shepherd! I'm always serious!"
I do love seeing more advanced partillery.
...I wonder what she could do if she had access to an Ohio-Class Submarine?
5348592
Party nukes. For when you absolutely, positively have to have an entire country get their jam on.
That's a new level of fantastic, even for Pinkie.đź‘Ź
She must be confident in her surveying, she didn’t need to fire marking rounds.
5348609
Tree Hugger would never condone the atomic bomb. Maybe the atomic bong... The nuclear bomb goes off and you get the radiation devastation for a thousand years, the atomic bong goes off and you only get the CELEBRATION!
/Robin Williams
Bravo six...going party
Must've been from an alternate reality where the Kentucky was further along before she got cancelled.
5348592
If she has an SSGN Ohio-class, that's hundreds of party cruise missiles and the means of inserting covert party specialists anywhere in the world!
5348954
Something about the idea of a covert party specialist just tickles me in all the right ways.
Lucky the Yamato Wave Motion Gun wasn't available.
5348994
Yet.
5348954 *Pinkie Pie pulls down the mic from its stand, a solemn look on her face*
This is Pinkie Pie. Set Condition 1-SQ, for strategic party launch. Spin up missiles one through five, and twenty through twenty four. The release of celebratory weapons has been authorised. This is not a drill.
5348954
…Anyone else imagining Pinkie as a Party focused M, and the covert party specialists as her double 0 agents after reading this remark?
…Cheese Sandwich would probably be the 007 of her organization.
5349533
So would that boring pony that quantified fun for cheese's fun factory be Q?
5349533
If any of the Mane six were aware of S.M.I.L.E. or other secret agencies, it would be Pinkie. Be part of them, I'm not so sure.
5349789
Probably!
5349899
I meant more that Pinkie would be in charge of her own spy agency dedicated to bringing parties where parties are dull. Not that she would join an existing organization.
5348577
Partillery is my new favorite word. You win the thread.