Happy Anniversay · 5:51am Feb 4th, 2020
...
Eight years ago today, I was getting ready to go see Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows when my youngest brother called me up to pitch the idea to make a fan fiction that combined My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic with the premise of Christopher Nolan's Inception. I had some time to spare before the movie, so we talked about it, kicking ideas back and forth. We ended up spending at least two hours discussing the premise and how all of the story elements would come together, and at Joseph's suggestion, we settled on a working title: DECEPTION.
Eight years from that day, and I still haven't finished it.
Some of it had to do with losing a lot of interest in the main series proper after season five. That finale was just... so bad... that I started reading the synopsis for each episode before it aired to try and gauge whether or not watching it would piss me off, and by that point, the magic was all but gone. More troublesome for the story was that these chapters concerning ending Pinkie's nightmares was one part experimental, and another part horror, neither of which I'd tried before and had no experience in, but with only me left on this project left me without a creative counterbalance, and thus lot of my bad writing habits began to crop up; what I have sitting as a file in my Google drive is an incomplete, 60,000 word monolith that, while I think isn't a terrible story or accumulation of ideas, but one(s) that are horrifically overwritten, stretching what little energy I had left far, far too thin.
But most of all, as my last journal entry -- over two years ago -- as well as several other posts I made in the past pointed out, 2015 is when I started going to some very dark places mentally: that was the year I began to wonder 'if I disappeared, how long would it be before anyone realized I was gone', and 'if I died how long would it be until someone noticed.' (The conclusion i determined for the latter was 'when the stench of my corpse becomes overwhelming.')
Not a very good place to be. And while now I don't ask myself those things on a daily basis... I still wonder them from time to time...
Nihilism is hard to work through creatively. At least depression, if properly harnessed, can make a pretty light show for passing bystanders from your soul being lit on fire. Apathy is just the cold ashes under the permafrost.
Not that I've been completely wasting my time. (Just mostly wasting it.) I'm almost done with a script for the 2017 MLP movie (that film was... so bad...), and then I can start filming. Once that's done, there's nothing standing in the way of getting back to writing and finishing what I started.
Except for myself. As usual.
- Christian 'Picking Up The Pieces' Harisay
Cant wait brother! It's always a treat to hear from you, and yes. Your fans are still here. And our bodies are ready for a 60k monolith. Bring it.