• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen April 23rd

Andrew Joshua Talon


A fellow traveler...

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Dec
30th
2019

Hands: Reputation · 3:16pm Dec 30th, 2019

Shepherd: Damnit! How the hell did I get a reputation as the Sword of Equestria?! Chrysalis!

Chrysalis: Oh gee, could it be that you punched out King Aspen and made him sue for peace? Or kicked those Diamond Dogs to the curb? Or, oh, I don't know, defeated an entire Changeling invasion force?

Shepherd: Wha-Twilight and her friends did most of the work there! How am I the one becoming more famous?! I'm the sidekick, not the hero!

Twilight: Andrew! You are a hero! But I do admit, you being known as a fearsome warrior and god of war is strange... Almost like it's being played up by someone to keep the peace...

Shepherd: ... Oh buck me.

*ELSEWHERE...*

Luna: Oh! Let's have the book tell about his heat vision here!

Celestia: Nah, then they'll demand he show off... Let's have him kill people with his mind if he glares hard enough, that's nebulous enough to work.

Luna: *pouts* Fine... Can I keep in him drowning the spy in a toilet?

Celestia: Of course! The whole story would fall apart without it!

*LATER STILL...*

Shepherd: Stop using me as a bogeyman for other countries!

Celestia: I will when you stop being a bogeyman for other countries...

Comments ( 10 )

"If you just need someone intimidating and with vaguely defined abilities, you have Luna!"
"She's been the boogeymare for a millennium. It's about time someone else had a turn."

Shepherd: Stop using me as a bogeyman for other countries!

Celestia: I will when you stop being a bogeyman for other countries...

Something about her argument feels like circular reasoning, even though it kind of isn't. She's just helping it along.

Now I can only imagine how his reputation might swell if he were to acquire a full suite of Tactical Armored Carapace, several duffel bags of high power and fully automatic rifles, and the kind of hardware that would make Tony Stark drool… Oh, wait a minute-!

5177351
Here's the problem: he's not being a bogeyman for other countries, he's being a bogeyman for other countries' diplomats. He doesn't see those as interactions between himself and the countries as a whole.

What I want to know is if he gets residuals from the book...

5177369
Depends on if they sell it or put it out like a fanfiction.

Inb4 we end up with Spinter Rain's: Shepard 6

Celestia: "Look, every species has ancestral, genetic memories of warrior bipeds who once ruled over everyone with an iron fist and scritchy fingers. I'm just playing on that."

Shepherd: *Stares* "...Scritchy fingers?"

Celestia: *Stares back* "Scritchy. Fingers."

Twilight: "Oh for heavens' sake, if you wanted my husbando to give you ear scritches you could have just asked!"

Fluttershy: "What do you mean, 'your' husbando? I introduced you to that term."

Twilight: "Fine, fine, OUR husbando."

Shepherd: "Since when was my life an anime harem comedy?"

Celestia: "Probably when I wrote that part in the book."

This sounds great for now, but it's gonna backfire when some egotistical warrior tyrant supervillain reads it and decides to pay Equestria a visit to defeat 'Shepherd the Unstoppable'.

Shepherd: Damnit! How the hell did I get a reputation as the Sword of Equestria?! Chrysalis!

Chrysalis:"Don't blame me, your mares are the ones that won't shut up about how good you are in bed."

5177575
I dunno, that's pretty much what his relationship with Chewie is. He'll manage. :rainbowwild:

And, y'know, they don't even have to exaggerate to add the "he wrestles a manticore before breakfast" line.

(Well. They have to exaggerate a little; Chewie has learned to let him have his coffee at least, otherwise Chewie ends up looking entirely too pathetic when he drags his sorry hide back to his mate)

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