• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

More Blog Posts2119

  • 52 weeks
    It's late

    But my brain isn't quiet. I'm stoned out of my goddamn gourd. Don't worry, it is just my usual regimen of drugs. That's how I spent a lot of my time now. Wasted. Doesn't really help with the pain much, but makes it a bit more tolerable. All of my drugs cost over 5 grand a month. That's what it takes to keep me going. I'm in somewhat better shape because of all of it, and there's a few bright

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    10 comments · 1,271 views
  • 62 weeks
    Cyborgification is potentially a-go

    Finally found a doctor that didn't run screaming upon seeing my spine images and xrays. The team is coming together. Met with the neurosurgeon the other day, and he thinks I am an ideal candidate for augmentation. The transition is happening, I think. I still have to pass a psych evaluation and other steps, but I am closer now than ever. First I'll have the trial run; they'll sink electrodes into

    Read More

    33 comments · 943 views
  • 92 weeks
    Today, life changes forever.


    It's been a long, long road to get to this point. A big thank you to everyone who has been with me during this journey.

    25 comments · 1,004 views
  • 92 weeks
    Big changes are happening


    Read More

    35 comments · 1,240 views
  • 116 weeks
    I suppose it is time for an update

    Been meaning to this, and I've become the King of Pro-Crasty Nation. I kept wanting to report, but there was nothing to report, no good news at all, so I just... didn't. Sorry. Went a bit silent on my end. It just sorta happened.

    I finally got a lawyer willing to take up my case. After that, things started happening.

    Read More

    17 comments · 2,034 views
Jul
27th
2019

Something something Dana Andrews · 3:08am Jul 27th, 2019

Just as he was about to say something, a gentle suggestion about moving on, there was a crackle just over his head, the stench of ozone flooded his nostrils, and something popped into existence just above him. Down it came, cracking him on the skull, complete with a hollow-sounding TA-CHONK! Before it could fall to the floor, he caught it, held it up, and had a better look at the curious object that had just come out of nowhere to assault him. 

Daring Do was staring at him now, no doubt silently wondering if he was alright. 

“Commander Croon’s Stewed Prunes,” he read aloud whilst he held up the tin. “It’s raining prunes.” 

“Do you think that’s how the other Twilight ended up here?” asked Daring Do. 

Tarnish did not respond to this question; he was far too busy reading the back of the label. After a onceover, he read it aloud for the others. “Famous musician Commander Croon knows the importance of bowel health and its impact on creativity. Commander Croon’s Stewed Prunes: guaranteed to help you with your musical movement. Commander Croon’s Stewed Prunes: make every day a concerto.” 

Vinyl’s breathless wheezing could be heard inside the open wall panel. 

“I am going to go out on a limb and say that Commander Croon was a pegasus—” 

“You have no evidence of that,” Daring Do snapped. “That’s tribalist.” 

“It’s not tribalist if it’s true,” was Rainbow Dash’s nonchalant thoughts upon the subject. 

After a moment of hesitation, Daring Do replied, “It’s tribalist especially if it is true.” 

Just as Tarnish was about to defend himself against these harsh accusations, several dozen more tins of stewed prunes rained down upon where he stood, which forced him into motion. He scooted away and then watched as a multitude of tinned stewed prunes materialised out of the aether. While he would never be one to turn down a free meal, he did have to wonder why fate saw fit to give him prunes. Rainbow Dash had been rather constipated lately, so this was, perhaps, a miraculous blessing, for surely, there were enough stewed prunes for all. 

“Somewhere, a supermarket’s shelves have gone mysteriously empty,” Daring Do remarked as she watched the tins that rolled willy-nilly over the floor. 

Vinyl still had not pulled her head out of the open access. 

“Rainbow, please, pick those—” 

“Why me?” the rainbow-maned pegasus whined. 

“Do you want Tarnish to accuse you of being lazy as well?”

I don't expect anybody to get the title reference. And that's okay.

Report kudzuhaiku · 247 views · Story: Skyreach ·
Comments ( 2 )

Prunes, eh?

5094830
I love this man. I don't care who knows it. His songs give me hope and give me the will to keep on living.

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