Remember me? An explanation. · 4:01pm Nov 8th, 2012
A few people are probably asking two very simple questions. Why is this story so short? And why is that ending so bad?
The answer to both is unfortunately life.
While writing it I imposed a strict deadline for myself but when I got to around 2500 words certain things happened in my life. Instead of doing the sensible thing and just waiting till it was sorted out it then finishing the story I rushed it. This was a really stupid choice. I hated the ending when I wrote it and I hate it now.I hadn't put out a new story or chapter in a while so I felt that I needed to put out something. The thing I really try to ensure about fanfics I write and read is pacing. A slow believable build up for an even better pay off. This ending was well rubbish. I thought about just cutting the story off at Spitfire going to the library then doing another chapter to finish it but at the time I only wanted it to be a one shot. This was another mistake.
So what to do to fix my mistakes?
I honestly don't know.
I could just leave it as is and call it a failure. An example of laziness and stupidity.
Or what some people seem to what is an extension. For me to either continue where I left off or scrap that terrible ending and start from scratch there.
I leave this decision up to you guys because what you think is a lot more important. Would any of these ideas appeal to you.
Also I may need a prereader/proof reader. I have a horrible habit of missing glaring mistakes. You may have noticed.
Once again should I leave the story as is or try to do it justice? Ill let you decide.
A little short but it was a good read. You could if you wanted continue it since you ended it like you did... and i honestly would want to see the reaction of soarin and the others (both mane six and family and the other wonderbolts)
I'd say move it back to Incomplete or On Hiatus. Revise the original ending, or for a challenge, keep the ending you already have and let Chapter 2 take it in a new direction. Maybe Twi and Spits (ship name = SparkleSpit?) only remember each other as fillies, but as adults, they're not as compatible as they thought they'd be. Or maybe they both rush into this before realizing that being Wonderbolts Captain and Element of Magic / Student of Celestia don't lend themselves to long-term relationships. Or after their relationship works and gets serious, then they start to neglect other things to be with each other, and their friends / teammates end up suffering for it.
You're absolutely right - rushing it or forcing the story to end early does cost it some legitimacy. Luckily that's easily fixed. I didn't like the ending of Teacher / Sorceress / Wonderbolt, and I'd love to see someone take another shot at at Spitfire / Twilight shipfic and run with it. I think this ship has some good and largely unexplored potential.
It's not as bad as you say it is. I found it to be very good. Something like 6 out of 10.
Just remember a writer is his own most brutal critic.
A bit of both would be nice. The ending needs revised, and we definitely need to see the reactions of the rest of the Main 6 & Wonderbolts. There is no way you could leave the story hanging without Dash's reaction.
I completely disagree with TheLastBrunnenG's suggestions. It has been a happy fic so far, so it would be ruined if it doesn't stay that way.
484941
pretty much what i think
slow it down and make it a bit more realistic, and then give us a hilarious rainbow dash style freakout