Not A G5 Sneak Preview. · 10:10pm Mar 31st, 2019
There are probably many, many things I could say about this show.
But it would be unfair, because I haven't finished watching it. And you know me. I can't review something without completing it.
I'm 4:14 in.
It took forty minutes to get that far.
I had to take a break after the theme song. And scream. A lot.
Their nostrils are set in little triangles, did you notice that? Triangles which rise above the snout. And the camera keeps shooting them from a back angle.
They are breathing through devil horns.
It would be unfair of me to review this without finishing it.
So finishing has to be possible.
Maybe someone here can finish and review first. By watching it without a single pause for any reason.
I would offer a prize for that, but ain't nobody ever gonna pull it off.
This is what part of the public thinks MLP is.
I'm pressing Play again.
Send help.
Send in the evac teams. Estee needs a rescue NOW~!
Don't look, Estee! It not the real vision of friendship!
Oh, my word, what even IS that?!
I am responsible for pointing Estee at this.
I am sorry.
I didn't think anyone would actually watch it.
I. Am. Sorry.
It's a horrible thing to watch, created for an audience that can't even wipe its nose yet.
I watched an episode and felt 20% dumber for it in the aftermath.
I wonder what eldrich horror I need to unleash to erase this abomination from history
Nnnope. I stopped at 0:28, the end of the intro. That's enough for me.
What immensely creative names those two title characters have, though. Corn the unicorn and Peg the pegasus.
Oh, thank GOD that's not a G5 sneak preview. Thank you, thank you for labeling it first.
Stuffed that in my watch later list. Never heard of the show, let alone seen it. Sounds like a challenge. Then again, I’ve seen some s#!t over time, so I might be able to tough it out. Just not now. It’s midnight here and I have to work tomorrow... need sleep first.
TORNADO OF HELPFULNESS!
...is a fantastic title for a Rainbow Dash one-shot.
I.. Just... I can't.... Blarrrrgghhh..... Make it stop blaarrrgh.... God why, why does children's shows have to be so fucking stupid, do adults forget books like the lion the witch and the wardrobe was for kids and the lord of the rings x(
Magnetic hooves.
They have actual magnetic hooves.
Also, Captain Thunderhoof has hooves smaller than those of the child characters. And her brainwash beam comes with a special bonus of dressing you in a 1600s collar.
I think that substitutes for jail.
Sorry the commercials it SEEMS like constant commercials were more than enough for me
Why oh why does them doing good make me feel less good?
And he was never able to see the face of his watch again.
...
Excuse me while I go sit in the corner and cry.
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OCCUPIED!
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It's ok, you didn't know.
Evil casts itself in many forms!
Made it to 2:08. That's gotta be some kind of record.
Please tell me this is a deliberate parody. Please.
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New show airing on Nick Junior. There are two other episodes available on the channel.
So no.
...would you like me to link the other episodes?
(I have reached the second short.)
(The song is the same as the first short.)
(It's their power-up music.)
(Death is nice.)
So we now have a song about apples.
I'll mobilize the earth pony murder squad.
You'll understand when you hear the song.
You'll understand that the murder squad was the polite option.
I finished.
This is my review.
*ahem*
DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!
This concludes my review.
Incidentally, would anyone be capable of providing an alibi for Thursday?
No reason.
It opens with product placement, and the whole plot revolves around consumerism.
I watched half of it without stopping, and then rage quit.
Yeah, nope, 15 seconds is all I need of that. :B
I mean, yeah... it’s not good. However, as a parent of a 3 year old, this is far from the worst stuff out there. I can think of a lot of shows for this target audience that are much, much worse.
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You and I were out getting drinks that day. I inexplicably figured out where you live and took you out for a pub crawl.
You know what? No. I'm not even going to bother wasting my time on this. Just the thumbnail has me cringing.
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Shimmer and shine.
This is probably how Discord sees ponies. It would explain a lot.
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I have a perfect alibi for you. Lots of documentation, lots of reasons why you wouldn't remember many details, and all that fun stuff.
First question, do you or your family have any allergies to Thorazine?
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There's four corners to this room. I've got your corner reserved already-farthest away from sharp objects, light sockets, anything you could hang yourself on...
Ugh. So it's like a copyright-free rip off of MLP on Nick Jr.? Because before looking at it between the comments and the title I had actual dread that this was in some way related to official MLP. There's no way they'd let it get this bad after G4 was so decent, right?
...Right???
And what kind of name is "Corn and Peg"? Not memorable, not even alliteration or anything. Did they just throw a dart at a word bank to come up with this one?
This is fun and nostalgic to read a little complaint blog again after so many less petty things taking stage for a while.
I dunno. It could be worse. Yes, it’s annoying, it’s ugly, and it’s not worth your time, but spending your time on watching it was, ultimately, your decision, and it’s otherwise very didactic.
I mean, as this Thunderhoof demands that Sligo (sp?) return the toys to the children – something he very obviously isn’t capable of even if he wanted to – the viewers learn a valuable lesson: Authority figures don’t give two bits about whatever extenuating circumstances you might possibly have, they will force you to comply anyway.
What?
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"Corn and Peg"... From just looking at the keyframes or whatever... Seems to be a massive contraction of "Unicorn and Pegasus"?
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Friggin' Bubble Guppies. I put cartoons on for my parrot to watch (yes, my parrot) to shut her up and all those show themes get stuck in my head.
The My Little Pony franchise is and has always been a vehicle to market cheap plastic toys to little girls. St. Faust createing something interesting was a fascinating aberration, but it was never that effective at its actual purpose. Hasbro has more or less humored us these past years, but now they need to reconnect with the next generation of their real audience. To judge its true worth we need a review from a four year old, and especially her parents, on its ability to hold her attention and keep her still and quiet for 30 minuets.
The long term destiny of the fandom is to rejoin the furries from whence it sprang, but I’ll sure miss it.
... The title is "A Very Sticker Situation." Someone said yes to that.
Farmer Shire is actually a pretty good name, though.
What the actual fuck?
They should have played this beforehoof.
To anyone who disrespects Lauren Faust: This is exactly what My Little Pony would have been without her. Badly designed, lobotomized writing, ruthlessly and premeditatedly Kyoot(tm).
Corn sometimes wondered about doing good deeds.
Not for long, of course. After all, he loved following Captian Thunderhooves directions! But once in a while he couldn't help but think about how they didn't think.
His sister never wavered. Hw envied her, sometimes. She always had the right stickers, knew the right things, had the right... not ideas, ideas weren't good. But she knew what they were supposed to do, and he always got distracted by a thought of memory so he had to distract himself and have fun instead.
Didnt they have parents at some point?
Peg and Corn loved having fun! Except for one time, Peg had broken one of his toys by accident when he'd asked her not to play with it. That made him feel really bad, but then he'd seen Captain Thunderhooves. She'd told him to forgive his sister, so they could go back to being friends. It was just a toy.
The next time she dropped one of his things, he said it was okay. And he never played with anyone else's toys after that either. He didn't want to break them.
Sometimes, he saw someone do something bad, and that was scary. But every time that happened, Captian Thunderhoof would be there! He wondered how she always knew where to be, but Peg told him wondering was silly. You just repeated whatever the TV said and didn't make trouble! That way he wouldn't make Captain Thunderhooves hurt him.
Not that she'd hurt anyone! She did good! And the helpfulness beam was good! He wasn't scared of her, he just wanted to make sure he and his sister were doing the best they could!
There was a colt they used to be friends with. He liked eating and cracking jokes. Corn had liked having someone like him around. One day, he'd stolen an extra dessert and Captian Thunderhooves had to use the Friendship Beam on him. He was a do-gooder now. He only ate healthy things, and he didn't have to play. He only did good deeds!
Corn saw him helping mow someone's lawn later. He looked tired, and there was red stuff on his hooves. Corn had asked him if he was okay, and he'd smiled and said he'd almost finished helping everyone in town! It made Corn feel funny, and if he felt funny he might not be as good at doing good, so he left him alone.
Living on Galloping Grove was the best thing ever! He'd never want to leave. Every day was a new adventure, and it was the best place in the whole wide world!
Was there a rest of the world?
Also, is anyone else getting weird glitches on the video player? I think Estee's devil-horse theory might be more on point than we know...
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The story of how Rainbow came to learn that use of tornadoes counts as reckless endangerment for most applications?*
If I see it in the Feature Box, I'll know what happened.
* (I've been watching the LegalEagle YouTube channel of late. It's pretty entertaining even if you're not a lawyer. I tend to stick to Laws Broken and the ones where he grades the legal realism of television and film realism. No, really, it's entertaining! Well, if questions like "Just how much trouble would Batman/John Hammond/Willy Wonka be in if it went to trial?" or "Shouldn't that lawyer be disbarred 10 times over by now?" intrigue you.)
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That's... Oh boy. That's a one-shot story right there.
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Somepony calls Rainbow selfish, and she spends the whole day Doing Good Deeds.
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All of them, just to be sure you got every trace.
Thanks, I hate it
...
Yeah, I paused it after literally two seconds and went "nope nope nope. I have just watched the last six episodes of FMA (2003 series) and it is far, far too late at night to subject myself to even more stupid crap."
MAYBE in the morning, if I feel like making myself lose some IQ points.