SAPR - New chapter edits · 9:47pm Mar 24th, 2019
I not only post SAPR on this site but also on ffnet and Spacebattles, and on the latter site a few people were less than happy with the latest chapter, and the way that Fluttershy and Applejack got corrupted. They said it didn't make sense, that Salem ought to do it more often if she could, that what it meant wasn't very well defined and that Ozpin's faction ought to be more on their guard for it.
And those criticisms were not invalid, and so I've gone back rewritten a little bit of that first part of the chapter so that what actually happens is that Cinder injects them both with water from the pool of darkness, while helpfully expositing on the limitations of doing so, to corrupt them. This also brings the idea more into line with its inspiration, which was all those fanfics (incidentally, if you haven't started reading RWBY: Destiny of Remnant yet, start doing so) in which Pyrrha didn't die but was instead teleported before Salem and turned into a grimm hybrid to fight against her former friends.
Yeah, I kind of understand the criticism. It really doesn't make much sense for her to have a thing that can make it so she can control others but then never use it except in this very specific circumstance. I mean she and Ozpin have been at this for how long, and yet this stuff has never come up before? It definitely stretches the suspension of disbelief but only because I'm all caught up on current RWBY and other readers might not be.
Frankly, it would have made more sense if one of her newer followers possessed such an ability. It's still pretty convenient but it would make more sense why it's never come up before until now.
With the way things are kinda set up, it would have made a bit more sense to have introduced Sonata at this time. Didn’t Salem say she was going to send her to Cinder before Cinder went to Mountain Glen? Would be a bit better than Salem hijacking the girls with a Grimm or “dadk evil juice/water”.
Might wanna put a spoiler warning here bub.
Because i was taking a small break from this story so i could catch up on others, and now im just really annoyed i got spoiled.
I love SAPR I really do but that scene really rubs me the wrong way, and the change really doesn't do much for me. Instead I would have loved to see Sonata using her song to mind control them, that would have been so much better and made much more sense. Infact this was what I was expecting all along when Salem tried to bring Fluttershy to her side.
Honestly we don't really know what Salem can do. But given the reveal episode about her and Ozpins origins... hard to say wait and see.
Wouldn’t Ironwood also potentially find out their blood was “infected/contaminated”? I mean, standard military procedure would be to do a thorough medical examination/quarantine until they knew nothing was wrong with them. And Ironwood is fully aware of Salem, and that Cinder is working for her. Even if it’s a small dosage, would it not still leave a trace? Despite being too small to cause physical abnormalities? And Ironwood is definitely the kind of guy who would be pretty thorough on things like this.
Unless the edit isn’t live on this sight yet you have not gone remotely far enough. Can’t get through aura? So what! Her targets would be civilian leaders, CEOs, anyone with large scale power or influence. Heck just have an assassin sneak in while they sleep, smak them over the dead to drop their aura then inject them. The ‘side effects’ isn’t even worth mentioning, clearly she knows how much she can use and still have perfect sleeper agents.