Mar
20th
2019
Worst year of my life. · 12:34pm Mar 20th, 2019
I officially declare 2019 to be the single worst fucking year of my life.
It's been barely two months since my dad passed away. And now, today, we found out my mother has cancer. They discovered it purely by chance, but its already spreading. They are trying to figure out how best to treat it. But as it stands, they don't know wether she has two months or two years left. Right now its anyones guess.
I swear this had better be rock bottom for this year, because I don't know how much more shit I can take.
Fuck 2019. Right in the eye, with a cactus, lubed with hotsauce. That's also on fire.
Damn, that sucks.
...Make sure you hollow out the cactus and fill it with spiders before lighting it up.
5030606
Depends on the species. As a classification, spiders are ridiculously diverse, and some of them are downright freaky and/or terrifying.
Especially the Australian ones.
Good grief
... Let's all hope thing's will get better... If not, then indeed F
CK 2019 for that.
And just like that, things start getting worse.
5030605
I'd give the hot-sauce and fire a pass, and go straight for for dipping the damn thing in a vat of pan-galactic gargle-blaster mixed with quantum guzzlink.
5030612
Oh hell no! I've seen what that stuff can do, I'm not going anywhere near that!
(grabs a towel and proceeds to hitchhike off-world with the nearest pod of dolphins)
5030614
*appears beside you*
The gargle-blaster or the guzzlink?
I am so sorry, I have no idea what to say. I know how it feels to lose a parent, but I can't even imagine how you feel right now. I pray for a miracle for you mom, and wish her the best with all of my heart, friend. =(
5030615
Gargle-Blaster, obviously.
5030657
Huh. Thought you were talking 'bout guzzlink, for a second there. threw me for a loop. The Quantum Guzzlink is one o' my own creations. It involves Chaos Magic, LSD, Poison Joke, a Pan-galactic Gargle-blaster, chocolate milk, and distilled Madness.
Well, fuck... I hope the year gets better somehow.
Well, the good thing about rock bottom is, there's nowhere to go but up.
5030666
So what you're saying is that you take a Gargle-Blaster and dilute it with a bunch of milder ingredients? I can get behind that.
5030682
...
The Pangalactic Gargleblaster is a mixture of some of the most potent non-arcane toxins within the realms of Forty-Two, and the ingredients for a Quantum Guzzlink are a mind-altering drug, the blood of a Draconequus, an ounce of distilled Eldritch Corruption, chocolate fucking milk, Poison Joke, which is the official herb of April First, and a Pangalactic Gargleblaster.
most of those non-gargleblaster ingredients are among the strangest arcanic toxins I know of, and my knowledge spreads a lot farther than the realms within Fourty-Two. The LSD is self explanatory, I think.
5030758
*nods* Exactly. Milder, everyday, normal ingredients that most of us have with our irregular tea.
Honestly, did Hatter forget to give you the recipe? He's always so scatterbrained, I swear.
5030931
Oh.
oh
Oooh
You're from Wonderland!
I'm sorry, it's just so rare for any of us to show up this side of the Rabbit Hole that I almost forgot there were others!
Do you have any suggestions for what I could use to make the Guzzlink more potent, then?
Ooh! I could toss in some Nostalgia Dust, and maybe a few powdered Bandersnatch teeth, perhaps some Jabberwock feathers, eyes of a Jub-Jub bird... Maybe I could even add in Frabjuous Snark extract, or even the tongue of a Boojum!
How is everyone doing, anyway? None of us have been on that side of the Rabbit Hole in such a long time now... I'd be surprised if anyone remembered us. Cheshire might remember, and maybe Fiddle-dee-dum and Fiddle-dum-dee. The Hatter might recall, but I doubt it.
5031290
Hmmm... Let me think... No... No, that won't do either... Haven't been able to get hold of those since the mome raths went feral... That one would just make you taste purple-and why is it always purple, anyways? Why not something more original, like chartreuse?
Oh, I know who you should ask! Russel the caterpillar! He's always known best when it comes to these sorts of things. Although there was that one batch that must have been a bit off, seeing as how he up and changed his name immediately afterwards; nowadays he goes by Absolem, of all things.
As for who remembers, you'll be surprised to learn that we all do, and that Hatter is actually the one who won't let us forget! He may be a bit odd, even by our standards, but he'd never forget someone he's expecting for tea, no matter how late they are.
5031391
Russel renamed himself? What, did the Queen up and change from lopping off heads to cutting out hearts?
As for the Hatter... Oh dear. Yes, he would do that, wouldn't he?
And here I was, partially hoping we'd fallen into obscurity...
We are going to have to visit, take time for tea and what-have-you, but I'm not entirely sure how well received we'll be by those dwelling in the more... orderly areas of Wonderland...
I remember that the crazy man living in the giant clock was gunning for us... prob'ly part of why we left in the first place.
And feral Mome-raths? That's hardly an issue, if it's still Brillig in the Slithy Toves.
5031440
Nope, the Bloody Big Head is still the Bloody Big Head. Even in this place, some things never change.
Crazy Clock Guy went back to being a shut-in, though I'm not entirely sure why. He may just be biding his time.
Were the Slithy Toves a place? I thought they were a species of spiral-ended badger-lizards that lived in the Wabe?
s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1355373009_6.2.jpg
Anyways, it's been lovely catching up, but I'm dreadfully late for a previous engagement, and that just won't do. So I bid you farewell.
May you always believe the impossible.
5031659
Yes, yes, we shall have to meat up with Mr Hatter for some tea sometime, won't we?
With a little Spark of Madness, the concept of impossibility becomes self-containing
5031659
5031675
This whole conversation could be a story in and of itself. Likely something that involved Discord in some fashion. At least it made me grin a little. So thanks for that.
5031732
'Tis adversity nonexistent, sir Aprion.
Comedic chaos is a quest of ours, and nothing warms our splintered heart quite like making others smile.
Well, discounting a lovely spot of murder, but we try to save that for the evening
5031732
In that case, my work here is done.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-R4u2NcAdRXI/UZG9BwViz2I/AAAAAAAAk9k/m8FuO8eO36Q/s1600/Johnny+Depp+Mad+Hatter+Dance+7.gif
And a very merry unbirthday to you as well.
Jesus Christ on a bike. Pardon my asking, but has your Mom tried chemotherapy?