Fic recs, March 16th: Get Featured Better edition! · 8:12pm Mar 16th, 2019
Yesterday as I write this, MagnetBolt posted a good blog about what gets stories noticed. And yeah, it ain't hours spent or tears shed; this is pure marketing.
And in that good blog, he mentioned five stories from the New Stories list, things that had just shown up, taking the opportunity to evaluate them via the methods he had just described. And wouldn't you know it, like some kind of rank addiction, whenever I see five stories in a place, I kind of want to review them. :B
So these reviews will have a couple extra features. First Impression will be me taking a look at the short description and so forth as it appears in the blog, and commenting on MagnetBolt's own evaluation. Second Impression will entail the full story post, cover art, description, you name it, as I prepare to read, and then the review as normal beyond that.
I don't expect to do this ever again. This one's all about the presentation. (And let's not forget that first impressions are based on individual preferences, and, as MagnetBolt has also said, can be wrong! Though, oh god, those ratings.)
H: 0 R: 0 C: 0 V: 2 N: 3
Ashes of a Demon by Saberking2012
Genre: EQG AU
Standing at the brink, Sunset finds herself confronted by a familiar figure.
First Impression: More or less agreed. Good cover art (I don't care quite as much about aspect ratio), could stand to be a little more descriptive. I mean, it's obvious from context that "she" is Sunset, but why not just say so? That said, I'm more inclined to be kind, because I do like vague, artsy descriptions, but "darkness agony" is a definite red flag.
Second Impression: That art looks even better close up. My one real concern is that description packs a lot in, but this is just over a thousand words. How are we going to be able to cover that much ground meaningfully in that short a time?
The first sentence contains not one, but two typos. This person needs a better editor. An attempt has distinctly been made, but sentences churn on and on into full convolution. There's a lot of 'suddenly' and 'just then', which puts the lie to the otherwise creeping pacing of those long sentences. I generally had a hard time following what was going on. Mostly, I just wish I knew when in Sunset's life this was taking place, AU tag aside. I'm not really sure what the point was here. I feel like this author will only get better with time, but this is confirmation of the bias that suggests stories with typos in the description should be avoided.
Vaguely Recommended
Beyond Hypothermia by MellowSoul
Genre: Character Death
It's getting colder outside…
First Impression: I'm less of a stickler for cover art, but I agree that it does make stories stand out. The description is punchy, but I wonder if hypothermia really is the "ultimate killer".
Second Impression: With the tags low word count, I can only assume that the description fills us in on what's already happened and we're just going to watch Rarity and Sweetie Belle die. I'm okay with this on some level because hypothermia intrigues me, but on the other, ehhhhh. Disabled ratings are a huge red flag, too. I'm not expecting much.
Is there such a thing as a genetic mutation that leaves one vulnerable to the cold? Apparently if you're a redhead. Which Rarity is not. Nor is it uncommon, then. Also, I had to go Google that by the end of the first paragraph, so that's not really conducive to immersion. (It's also really weird that temperatures are given in Celcius and Fahrenheit.) The writing is okay, full of talking heads, though the characterization is decent. But, uh, let's say you won't see the end coming, and unfortunately, that final reveal is just not handled well. This is very heavy on the drama when it doesn't need to be, and overall reminded me of the brain transplant story (though it's not that bad).
Vaguely Recommended
A Typical Day of Crusading by Jest
Genre: Random Comedy
The Crusaders have a little problem. With a demon.
First Impression: The art doesn't bother me that much. I mean, at least it's there. The title is more of a letdown, all things considered, though the description at least puts the lie to it, so there's that.
Second Impression: Yeah, the screencap cover just kind of reinforces the banality of the title. The promise of demonic possession puts me in a good mood. (The Little Nicky video link does quite the opposite.)
Shoulda run away from Nicky. The opening conversation is amusing, but entirely out of character, and is followed by the story reminding us who Scootaloo is. And a typo. This is one of those random comedies that leans heavily on the random, jumping from idea to idea while laboring under what should really be an easy joke to tell. I mean, it's telling that I only laughed at the fart joke. :/ And it's unfortunate, because the underlying joke is funny, there's just too much clutter to really make it effective. At least it isn't a typical kind of story.
Not Recommended
Learning to Live Again by Speedy Quill
Genre: Changeling Fic
A lone changeling surviving on its own is given a second chance through the power of friendship.
First Impression: Yeah, the title on the cover art looks like a smudge, and little else about it is really apparent except Luna, I guess. Moreover, while the description is well written, it also suggests we're going to be in for a less than original story. Seriously, that's like, every changeling story ever.
Second Impression: The cover art actually gets worse when you look at it up close. The font is generic. Celestia, Rarity and Luna are all obviously show vectors, which means the OC stands out in a bad way. Not only is it off-model, it just looks really bad, grey on black with pupilless blue eyes. Then there's the fact that it's a rewrite of a completely different story (by the same author, thankfully; also weird that Twilight's no longer on the cover), and the fact that it's incomplete, and… Well, let's just say I had to think about how much I really wanted to make this post.
Oh boy, the paragraphs aren't spaced. People just do not understand how difficult it is to read unspaced, non-indented paragraphs. That by itself gave me reasons not to continue reading this past the first chapter, but, well, I think my impressions were spot-on. This is written in first person and the main character just doesn't strike me as anything. The plot to this point is unoriginal. I found it overall dull, just another story about a changeling trying to survive in the wild and no real reason for me to care. Also, it fails the Zecora Test. Also, a single tear.
DNF: 1/???
SCP-5049 by Torus
Genre: SCP Foundation Crossover
First Impression: Oh god. I've only read one SCP crossover that I liked, and that was because it was written for me and meant as a parody. The lack of actual title, real description and cover art suggest that no effort has been put into this.
Second Impression: This carries over to the long description. That is not a description. And the author doesn't even have an avatar, I don't know how this can be anything but a chore to read.
...Yeah, this is a really bad SCP. The object, if anyone cares, is Lyra. The backstory is basically MLD. This wouldn't fly by half on the wiki. So hey, the description and lack of cover art really set expectations!
Not Recommended
IIRC, it's actually suffocation that's the "ultimate killer"? As in, technically everything boils down to "oxygen isn't getting where it needs to go" if you trace it back far enough.
5028876
There's also just a sense that, like, anything which kills you is pretty ultimate? <.< You can't get more dead than dead.
I thank you for the review and I apologize for the typo. If it's okay for me to ask, can you tell me where the typos are so I can fix them?
I should probably explain why my story is the way it is. There are two main reasons. The first is I wanted to cut to the chase and ignore pointless filler. The second is I wrote it when I was angry. To answer your question about what the ultimate killer is, it's nature. Time kills us, severe weather kills us; you get the picture. The whole story was made to vent about the pain and fragility of life. It's dramatic because trauma is dramatic. Think about how Rarity would feel in the aftermath. She would go through life blaming herself even though Sweetie made the choice to trade her life for her sister's. That level of pain creates a sort of PTSD effect that follows people who have lost loved ones around like a shadow. It's there for to stay. We can say it gets easier as time goes on, but sometimes it doesn't. Rarity and Sweetie interacted the way they did because on some level, they knew the end was coming, and they never got to express their love for each other before it arrived. It's sort of like that sixth sense for death some people have claimed to have shortly before their passing. Anyway, thanks for at least checking it out. It was just something raw and unfiltered I wrote for cathartic purposes. Hopefully I can write something you'll like more in the future.
5028876
Time is the ultimate killer?
I mean, without time you’d not need air and there’d be no entropy. Right?
5028876
Debt.