Story Reviews » SA Reviews: Round 144 · 3:28pm Jan 15th, 2019
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“I don’t get paid enough for this.”
“Last I heard, you don’t get paid at all.”
“My point exactly.”
Cynewulf huffed and reached a little higher. Her high heels perched precariously on Intern’s shoulders, the Seattle’s Angle strained to unscrew a bolt from a metal panel. Intern clenched his teeth, threatening to wear down his molars. A small silver screw dropped past his face.
“Got one. Three to go.”
Intern bit back a curse. “Speaking of things that come in fours, did you get your reviews in yet?”
“Ugh, not now. I need to concentrate.” Another bolt came loose and fell.
“Why didn’t you just get a ladder? Why use me?”
Even though he couldn’t see it, Intern could feel the smirk as Cynewulf said, “As if you don’t already know.” A third screw came tumbling down.
“I’m getting the urge to just go full-blown evil and destroy you all.”
“It’s a phase. You’ll grow out of it. Aha!” The final screw came loose and with it a thin metal slate. “Now the real work can begin.”
ROUND 144
STORY 1
Daybreaker, by Lets Do This
"Do not speak to us of flame or wrath! Lest we show thee what the words truly mean!"
Twilight, Starlight, and Trixie go back in time to answer two questions: why did Celestia become Daybreaker, and how did Equestria survive?
So I like, love Daybreaker as a context. Why? Because we can 100% see why and how and in what way Luna would fall. But Celestia we have together made into a kind of pinnacle-as-character. She’s perfect, even when we try to give her flaws. But sometimes we manage to really leave the perfect Idol Celestia behind, and honestly it can make her more interesting, tho always with a sense of loss that is very real.
What I really like here is the angle of Twilight discovering that Celestia is capable of imperfection. What is often cheap about this trope, the Daybreaker Concept etc, is that it’s so often a shallow and obvious authorial iconoclasm aimed really at something else. But here, what we care about is less Celestia and more what this revelation means for everyone else, and especially for Twilight. And that is clever.
This one is technically a sequel, but the only thing you need to know is that sometime in the past, Celestia became Daybreaker. Twilight wants to figure out why the records from that time are wiped and goes to investigate. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
A tale as old as time: don’t meet your heroes. Twilight learns this the hard way as her investigation turns up things about Celestia she’d never would have guessed. Probably not the most original idea but I like the way this story executes its premise. Nothing wrong with exploring popular ideas, right? Otherwise we wouldn’t have a catalogue of AppleDash fics to read through.
I also like how all the characters involved are used to their fullest. Nopony sits on the sidelines and just comments on the goings on. Each one contributes. A tricky thing to do when a half-dozen ponies are involved.
Give this one a go if you like high stakes unicorn shenanigans!
In the beginning, there was Harmony. Then Discord stole Fire from the Alicorns.
I’m a sucker for good prose, and Undome’s got it in spades. The language here is somewhat biblical, but only in that it draws from the language of the King James. The early modern english here is mostly immaculate, managing to emulate feeling and tone even where it bends lexicon (and it doesn’t often do that!). This isn’t surprising, as Undome’s command of language makes all of his stories incredibly fulfilling to read. (There’s one involving Luna and Elvish I happen to love, myself). The real joy here is in the raw exuberant revelry in language. This is just fun. This is someone having a heck of a lot of fun.
Now this is some classy writing. Biblical, in fact. I mean that literally, by the way. The stances, the versing, the language; all are inspired by the Holy Book.
And speaking of religion, the author gives a really fascinating look at how history and faith can be used to one’s own agenda. Kinda scary when you think about how charisma can get you everything while dooming everyone else. It plays with your expectations in ways that are delightful and frightening.
This is going to be a short review as saying anything else will ruin the experience. Go in and be shown the light.
STORY 3
Looking Up, by Glimglam
Sometimes, when Scootaloo feels sad, she looks to the sky for hope. For inspiration. For assurance. She looks up to her future, to her dreams, and to everything else she holds dear. She looks up, because up in the sky, the possibilities are endless.
But for a filly that can't yet fly, what comfort could the realm of the clouds offer her in the here-and-now?
Confession: I have a soft spot for Scootaloo.
Clarification: I have a massive soft spot for Scootaloo. I always have. When I had to pick a character for the lead of one of the most impactful stories I had written at that point, I chose her for a reason. There’s so much you can do with her as a writer. A disabled character who has learned to transcend her limitations, but who also deeply knows what it is like to be defined by and limited permanently. A fun kiddo-char you can get comedy out of, a wonderful lead for emotional pieces, a great action hero when aged up---she’s just good, y’all.
There’s a lot of ScootaX fics on here, focusing often on her disability or on a perceived lack of family. This doesn’t stray far from that, but it manages to avoid a lot of the pitfalls of that conventional track. There’s merit to that, to trodding well-worn paths in ways that are either new or at least well-done. And it was a pleasure to see someone work the familiar story into a far better form than I’ve seen it before.
Again, probably not the most original idea, and I’ve recommended some just like it, but this Scootaloo story has something that most others don’t: a lack of mopiness. I think there’s a single paragraph in this entire fic that she feels sad.
The rest? A wonderful look at a pony that sees all the potential she can aspire to. Sure, impatience is involved, but Scootaloo is still a kid and wanting something now instead of later is hardwired into her. However, she has a set routine that is helping her reach that potential.
Having two close friends to get in trouble with also helps pass the time.
In closing, don’t mock an idea just because you’ve seen it before. A different perspective may just teach you some things. Also, the images that bookend this story were a nice touch.
Cheerilee has, by and large, been detached from the events at the School of Friendship. She heard the rumors about a total meltdown at the school, and even worse ones about a diplomatic incident that followed, but by and large, she's simply wished Twilight well and went about her business of helping all the young ponies of Ponyville grow.
Then, one day, not too long after the School of Friendship reopened, a new young mind flies into her life.
So, we have two different reactions here.
My comrade’s reaction is very much that this is cute (it is very cute), but mine is a bit different. I taught 10th grade English II and Remedial English II in an inner city school, and while I saw some very sad things. I saw a lot of kids who had Issues, and as I struggled through the year I found that some of the worst stuff wasn’t obvious. It showed up in small things, little hints that you noticed and followed like a loose thread that unravels everything. You assign a personal essay and some poor child gives you way too much insight into exactly why they are so desperately unhappy and exhausted and you sit in the quiet of your classroom asking: what do I even do with this?
I say all that to say that this story kinda captured what that slow revelation felt like. Please read it.
Darnit! Stories like these want me to reach through the screen and huggle ponies all day long!
So yeah, if you couldn’t tell, we got a cute one on our hooves. I haven’t had too many chances to read about the new students from the latest season and this job thankfully gives me reasons to do so. Silverstream is on display here, paired up with the town’s local school teacher, Cheerilee. Given that Silverstream has been hiding in the sea for most of her life, everything above the surface is new and exciting. And who better to give advice on how best to experience those new things than a teacher?
I really loved the dynamic between Cheerilee and Silverstream. Calm and patient (and sometimes snarky) Cheerilee is a good counter for Silverstream’s exuberance over seemingly everything. This could have gone on for another five-thousand words and I wouldn’t have gotten bored in the slightest.
But, all stories need an end at some point and the finale doesn’t disappoint. It’s both touching and a bit heart wrenching, but the characters come out better for it. Don’t let this one pass you by!
Cynewulf twisted the last screw in place, then hopped down off of Intern’s shoulders, much to his relief. “There, now we’re all set.”
“You never did say what you were working on,” Intern said as he rubbed his sore shoulders.
Picking up a remote from a nearby table, Cynewulf plopped down into a comfy armchair and clicked on a TV. The screen blinked on and the opening sequence to She-Ra began to play. “Our cable sucks. Retrofitting the roof satellite dish to intercept my cartoons was the only way for me to catch up.”
“You could have just streamed it…”
“Doing something efficient and sensible? That’s not the Seattle way.” She waved a hand dismissively. “You can go now, by the way.”
Shaking his head, Intern left the room, secure in the knowledge that at least he could now watch Samurai Pizza Cats discreetly. Clearing out internet browser history was such a chore.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
The fact that this story is here makes me feel so flattered and the reviews themselves makes my work feel extremely appreciated. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.
And the Serpent is top-tier fanfiction, good pick. :)
Thank you so much for the recommendation and kind words on Serpent. I'm incredibly honoured.
Also, I'm going to take this opportunity to shill/point out that the Luna and Elvish/Quenya fics that Cyne mentioned are written on my alt account, and are NSFW, in case anyone gets lost trying to find them.