It gets worse · 5:25am Jan 12th, 2019
Yesterday, I received news that my father went into cardiac arrest.
My father and I haven't seen each other in years, four years to be exact. And what little we did interact was usually him crying about how much he missed me, or asking me for money for some unspecified reason. After receiving this news, I really couldn't do anything except hope and pray for his well being, and after today, I have learned that he is no longer responding to external stimuli involuntarily. (pupils shrinking, joints moving when struck, etc.)
I've spent the last 11 hours in a blind panic of figuring out what to do, but I've decided I'm going to see him. the family is having a meeting with the doctor tomorrow about what to do next, but I won't be able to be there. though, I am marked as his next of kin, so ultimately the decision on whether or not to keep him alive on a machine comes down to me.
I...don't really know how to feel. I had some issues with my father, and it seems now that those issues are going to go unresolved. tomorrow morning, between 11am to 1pm, I have to consciously make the decision on whether I want to kill my father or not. It's...more than I can handle right now.
Money is tight, but thanks to the kindness of some friends, I have the money necessary to afford bills and such while I'm gone.
With this in mind, do not surprised to see me gone for the next couple of weeks.
Not that I was around much to begin with, right?
I hope you guys are well, and thanks for reading.
Holy fuck mate, I have no words. Hang tight there, all of my hope and prayers go to ye. Try to talk with the doctors, they'll tell you if there is a chance of him getting back.
All I can suggest is talk to the doctors, see what the best course will be if there's even a chance of recovery or not.
Otherwise, make sure to set some time aside, you are going to want it.
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First of all, thank you both for your kind words.
I just wanted to give an update, early this morning, surrounded by friends and family, my father has passed away.
I couldn't be there, as I am 1,000 miles away and my flight out isn't until Monday. It puts a lot of things in perspective and it makes me think about a lot of different things, but all I can do is take things one step at a time and deal with it as it comes.
Thank you to both of you, and to anyone else who happens to read this.
That's rough. Nothing to do but keep going and pull yourself back together afterwards. Good luck, and don't forget that you've got plenty of friends willing to help.