Star of the Show 'rewrite' · 11:43am Oct 24th, 2023
The first chapter of this story was what bothered me the most, so I think subsequent rewrites will be less entire chapter overhauls and more akin to editing pieces of the chapter that I don't vibe with. With the exception maybe of the chapter where Nemesis storms Ellura HQ in Manehattan, that one may get some significant rewrites. I can't tell when that'll happen of course, I'm on vacation at the moment visiting my home state.
anyways, if you want to read the second chapter as it was originally written without any edits, you can do so here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dvaDryAvKuZXtqxmkqydhBVtoHMOocAyRzozj2DGOso
While the entire chapter didn't get rewritten, I did change a few scenes.The most significant one was Nemmy's first encounter with Golden Shield. In the original it was more cartoonish than serious,which clashed heavily with what happens to Golden Shield in the future. With that in mind I rewrote it with that serious-ness in mind, and with some reasons why golden shield is probably an elite guard. If you bother to read this re-write, thank you for your continued dedication! I'll try to get these re-writes out more frequently leading up to where the story's been stopped for literal years, though I cannot make any promises.
When I first started this story it was more out of a desire to see Nemesis in this sort of story, and the first half of the story really reflects that rushed,excited feeling I had. My writing got better later but it's working off of a flawed foundation. I'm working on correcting that but it's a very slow process that happens according to my motivation, which is usually low.
Oh, one more thing before I end this blog, the chapter 'shadow of the pyramid' will be getting removed from the story. I've already talked with SCPPinkamena about it and he is cool with it, we might do another crossover later in the story but again, no promises. The reasoning behind the removal is simply that the chapter contributes nothing to the overall story, and is more of a fun 'what if these two fought' scenario.
Also, don't worry I have another chapter written to replace it. I will of course give a link to Shadow of the Pyramid where it can still be read after I remove it, it simply won't be 'canon' to the story anymore.
Yooo, excited for this rewrite. Liked the story the first time i read it. Hope you continue, but no rush. I can wait a little bit longer.