Turnabout Storm Part 65 updated... · 10:15pm Nov 26th, 2018
Part 65 - Channel Change is the first of a two-part grand finale that I originally wrote as one large chapter, but decided that 30k words was a little much for a single chapter, even an ending one. Aside from the usual edits and cleanup, smoothing things out and putting in some additional detail and dialog, there is one major update to the chapter.
The second channeling scene with Firefly was improved. Having written a full story about her, I now know her personality much better than before, as well as how she'd react to bring brought back for a prank. So her scenes, expressions and lines were changed somewhat:
Rainbow couldn’t argue with that. “Well, my completely uncool fainting aside, this is a real treat, Nix,” she said, turning to Firefly and bowing low, flaring her wings respectfully before her. “I always wondered what it’d be like to talk to somepony as legendary as you!”
Firefly stared back at her for a moment before replying. “Well, your fainting aside, I have to say, I’m not overly impressed with you, Rainbow Dash.”
Rainbow’s smile dropped at that. “O-okay, so what aren’t you impressed by?”
The pink pegasus stood up, and looked her in the eye. “Your dreams. They’re so… shallow, and short-sighted.”
“My wha…?” Rainbow cocked her head, confused.
“You said it as you were walking in the door,” Firefly clarified. “You wish to join the Wonderbolts, and have dreamed of such since you were small. That a pegasus of your ability would set your sights so low… that is why I’m not impressed by you.”
Rainbow stared agog at the legendary captain. “B-but the Wonderbolts are your organization! You founded them as the Bolt Knights and—”
“Yes, the Bolt Knights were my organization,” Firefly cut Rainbow off. “We were a military force. ‘First to fly, first to fight, faster than a lightning strike!’ ‘twas our slogan. We fought, we killed, and far too many of us fell in service to Equestria and Princess Celestia. ‘Twas astonishing that I even lived to see the end of the war. But now… these ‘Wonderbolts’ who claim lineage are mere performance flyers, completely cut off from their roots. There’s little connecting them to the Bolt Knights anymore.”
Rainbow was silent, opening and closing her mouth a few times. She wanted to refute Firefly’s statements, but she couldn’t.
“But what causes me true disappointment, more so than your shallow dreams,” continued the legendary mare, “is that my bloodline has apparently fallen this far.”
Rainbow’s irises shrank. “Y-your…”
Firefly nodded. “You are of my line, young pegasus. That mark on your flank is proof enough, in addition to what I’ve seen of your abilities from the Summerlands. You can perform wondrous deeds, Rainbow Dash—indeed; ‘tis certain you already have. You helped purify Princess Luna, purging her of The Nightmare. You are capable of performing the Sonic Rainboom, something that even I could never do. You even saved three of my so-called successors following a failed rescue attempt of a falling pony,” she added, giving a pointed look at Spitfire, who had to suppress a grimace at the memory.
“You have unparalleled potential, as both a pony and a pegasus… and you would choose to squander it as a mere performer? You could be so much more. And that is why I’m disappointed in you.”
“But…” Rainbow looked down, her ears and fur drooping, never having expected such treatment from the returned legend. Were her dreams truly so shallow? Was she really choosing to waste her abilities by wanting to be a Wonderbolt?
“Captain Firefly, with the utmost of respect… shut your bucking mouth.”
Everypony turned to stare at Spitfire. Her expression of wonder at Firefly’s appearance had vanished, replaced by a stern and angry countenance that showed her training as a military commander. “You were brought here as reparations for a prank, from what I understand. But instead of leaving it there, you choose to flay a promising young mare with your tongue. You not only denigrate her, but in the process you denigrate me, cast aspersions on me and my team, saying in effect that we’re not good enough for Rainbow or for you. Well, that stops now.”
With that, Spitfire stalked forward to get into Firefly’s face, her wings flared in anger as she went nose to nose with the other mare. “In olden times, such an affront to pegasus honor would call for a duel. To that end… I’d be more than happy to don a pair of wingblades to prove neither the Wonderbolts nor their Captain have completely lost touch with their roots.”
There was a tense silence as the two pegasus legends, one living and one past, stared each other down. For a moment, Phoenix was worried that Firefly would take Spitfire up on her offer, and was suddenly wondering if having Maya channel her had been a bad idea.
After a few moments, however, the corners of Firefly’s mouth quirked upward. “Well, now. That’s the kind of attitude I remember from my days as a Bolt Knight—fearless and undaunted, even in the face of overwhelming odds.” She stepped back from Spitfire. “Perchance I misjudged you, Captain Spitfire. You have determination and spirit coupled with a commanding manner. Methinks you would have done well as both a soldier and leader back in my days.”
Spitfire shook her head. “Thank you, but with all due respect, Captain, the days of disharmony and defended borders are long past. This is a time of peace for Equestria. As such, there’s no need for the Bolt Knights’ original purpose.”
“I concede that much. Times have changed greatly since the war ended,” she agreed, then frowned. “Still, even a peace under an immortal ruler can’t possibly last forever. ‘Tis folly to think such. Methinks there will always be war, and a need for warriors,” she mused, and then looked seriously at Spitfire. “As the commanding officer of the Wonderbolts, heir to the Bolt Knights, I ask this of you: even if you can’t return them to their origins, at least improve the military training that you go through. Methinks you never know when such training will be required.”
There was a moment of silence, before Spitfire nodded and saluted. “At your direct request, I will. I give you my word, ma’am.”
Hard as it is to believe now, this one sequence eventually spawned a brand new character and two entire stories devoted to her; military epics that have become two of my favorite stories to work on and I'll say without humility are two of the best war stories on site. Before the Storm: The Rise of Firefly and Into the Storm: The Flight of Firefly are both canon to this verse, and their events do factor somewhat into TLaTU.
Also, an announcement. A brand-new Turnabout Storm-related story is under development courtesy of Silentwoodfire, to show the investigation that Edgeworth and Rarity conducted regarding corruption in the Equestrian Prosecutor's Office. It's to be an Ace Investigations-type storyline, and he'll have plenty of help writing it from both myself and the rest of the prereading crew of Silentwoodfire, Denim_Blue, James CyberLink and AJ_Aficionado. Basically, we always preread each other's stuff. More information on the story will follow as release gets closer.
With this, but two chapters remain to be updated, and they will very likely be done by the end of the month. It's been a good month of writing overall, with all but one of my objectives checked--a new chapter of my anthro novel. And I'll be getting to that soon enough.
I should note that i hope to have a few chapters made up prior to beginning release for the public, mostly cause I am not as fast as the others are at writing stories...but i have a outline! I have a plan! I have a character list!
Its more than i have had in the past at least.