Probably the Worst situation I've ever been in · 11:51pm Nov 1st, 2018
So I got a real gut punch today.
I don't like to talk about personal stuff on the internet but sometimes you can't avoid it because you need somewhere to vent or just to beg for help. Asking for help has always been something I struggle with until it's too late, because I always feel like a failure, but I don't know what else to do.
For the last year or so, I've been living with my mother. She's been going through treatment for cancer (It's going well, thankfully) and she was able to keep a roof over my head while I dealt with my own health problems and helped her with things she could no longer do.
Today, we found an eviction notice on the front door.
I'm still processing things. This is one of those awful, looming things that I knew might happen at some point but I kind of hoped I'd avoid somehow. We've been having money problems for a long time, which is why I've occasionally come on here and asked for commissions and donations.
We're going to call the landlord tomorrow and see if there's anything we can do but, to be honest, if we can't get another $3000 or so, I doubt it's going to matter. We've been living with nothing, barely enough food to eat, wifi from the neighbors, and we still don't have enough to get by.
I was hoping to do National Novel Writing Month this year and I might not even be able to finish it because I'll be homeless or, well. Homeless is the more friendly of the alternatives. It kind of feels like the end of my life no matter what happens. I don't even know if having the money would help at this point. It wouldn't hurt, but I don't know what to do. We can't move far from here - my mother is receiving more or less pro-bono treatment from a local hospital and would be dead already otherwise. I don't even really have friends or family I can move in with.
I could maybe deal with being on the streets and dying slowly if it wasn't for my mom and my bunnies.
I just pray the stress of this isn't going to kill my mom even if we find some silver bullet solution. And if we get kicked out, what am I going to do with my pets? They're helpless little balls of fluff and what might happen to them in a shelter or otherwise is just
I can't even imagine giving them up to someone I know and trust.
I feel so empty. I'm trying not to cry because it won't help. I'm trying to stay strong for my Mom's sake and she's trying to stay strong for mine.
If you can donate anything, I set up a GoFundMe
I'll try to post updates if I can. Part of me just wants to run away and hide and pretend this will all go away. When bad things happened before I was able to come up with some kind of backup plan or at least I had something I could do. I'm not strong or healthy, but I might be able to survive on the street, at least for a little while, maybe long enough to figure something out.
I don't even know if my mom is going to make it through to the morning. There's this horrible dark feeling the stress might just stop her heart.
Sorry about venting. Sorry about begging for money and help. Sorry about all this. Sorry about all the things I have half-done and might never finish now.
Edit: Some people have asked about donating with paypal. My paypal is here - hopefully that works properly.
Edit: The GoFundMe is well over the goal I didn't think I'd come anywhere close to meeting. As I write this it's a stone's throw from $5000. I'm incredibly touched by the generosity of this community. Having the full amount owed means we've got a much better chance of swaying the landlord or, in a worst case scenario, the money means we might be able to find somewhere else to go.
Good luck. Don't lose hope.
I wish you the very best of luck.
If Piranha Plant can be playable in Smash, anything is possible. Stay strong, friend.
Trying to stay positive. It's just rough with everything that's going on. I tend to bottle up my stress until it explodes and I collapse from it.
I don't have money I can send, but I added to those boosting the signal, for what that might be worth. Good luck; I really hope you find something workable.
Not sure if it will help, but ...
https://greatnonprofits.org/categories/view/emergency-assistance
https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/catholic_charities_financial_a.html
https://www.directrelief.org/issue/
4961747
Thank you. I'll take a look and see if there's something they can do to help. It can't hurt to try.
4961748
You're welcome! I hope everything works out for you.
I've been in a very similar situation. I still am pretty much, so my help is very limited, but for what it's worth, two things:
1) Keep your head up, you're doing what you can.
2) I posted a blog to spread the word.
All the best.
Helping as much as I can, and did a signal boost too. Hope you get the help you need.
Whatever you do, don't resign yourself to dying. Seriously. Been there. Don't, if you can possibly help it.
3200 out of 3000 raised. This is why I'm still a part of this community. I know it's not enough since that's only a temporary fix, but I can honestly say I'm extremely proud of our community right now. Unfortunately I can't give anything since I'm in college and paying for that, or I would.
EDIT: 4700... an Anonymous person just donated $1500.
Well, it looks like they've got you covered.
Helped a bit. Keep your chin up and look after your mum.
I've just uploaded a blog to spread the word of your plight. I am truly sorry for your situation and wish there was more I could do. Please, do not despair, do not lose hope. We've got you. I have faith that everything will work out for you.
Best wishes!
Thank you again, everyone. I'm still dreading talking to the landlord tomorrow and begging him for mercy but at least now I'll have the bargaining power of being able to pay him in full.
You should be able to qualify for food stamps. That will help w the "can't eat" part
Good luck to you and you mother! And you never have to worry about asking for help here...it's kind of what we do!
4961794
We're on food stamps, but you're absolutely right that it's a help. $80 a month isn't much but it usually gets us about two weeks of groceries.
4961792
That will help enormously with the negotiations. Honestly they care more about the money than anything else, and they're probably looking for an excuse not to kick you out. Even if they're a heartless bastard, it would just be bad business. If you've got it, that should get you what you need. This should buy you some time, and food. Everything is better and, more importantly, easier to solve when you have enough to eat. And the time should help get a more permanent solution.
Seriously, once the immediate crisis is over, you should use some of the money I sent to get yourselves a nice meal. Having a moment of peace in the crazy will definitely be worth it, and make solving your other problems easier.
Good luck meeting them. Remember that there's a whole community of people who have your back and want you to succeed. Don't give up.
Let’s keep that money going up 20,000 to help him for a long time
I know the first thing to do is try to be nice and bargain with the landlord, but don't get kicked out without a fight. Check your local squatting laws and eviction laws and see what powers your landlord has to actually kick you to the curb. And remember, if it does go to court, it's not a criminal trial, so you won't get a public defender, but it's also not a huge deal to represent yourself, especially since you're clearly extremely literate. Call around and see if any lawyers will give you advice pro bono, many of them will do consultations over the phone and only charge you if you use their services later in a more official capacity, and some might be more generous even than that.
4961756
I,m fellowing all of you guys now becease of this I should have done this back in 2011 the whole adding a account thing here
Personally I don't know you and I don't have much money myself but I am gonna say this.
Guys that had the money thanks. I see a few for a few hundred bucks you guys and gals are awsome. I then see 2 one for 1000 and one for 1500 both are anon but to you 2 I gotta say it's people like you that make me love this community. And good luck ok I hope that helps alot.
4961807
Legal advice is the one thing I've got plenty of. I took business law in school and my mother has a law degree. I've been using a book on tort law as a mousepad. If it came down to going to court I'm sure we could at least make a good showing.
The generosity runs strong within this community. If this isn't magical in itself, then I don't know what is.
4961814
I already have this link to tons of the people that I follow
4961824
Wow, you are a stunning piece of shit
4961828
No one is down voting you because you don't have money. This is about spreading dangerous misinformation, the kind that routinely gets people killed, while speaking ill of the few people actually equipped to deal with the situation.
4961766
I saw! Really reminds you that there are good people in the world, as well as bad. I was able to give him a little bit and say, it was well worth it. When you do a kindness, the most you can ask is gratitude and it speaks well of someone when they thank you earnestly, even for a little help. :)
4961798
If I might make a suggestion, given that one of the issues you have is having very little to eat, another avenue to pursue is to see if there are any Mormon (also called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) churches near you. I know that they maintain an internal welfare program, part of which is called the Bishop's Storehouse, that can in some circumstances be open to people who aren't a member of their church. The main function of that aspect of their system is to distribute foodstuffs and some other essentials directly to those who are in need. Obviously there's no way to promise anything but it's a possibility. I hope this helps.
Best of luck.
4961825
4961829
As the guy said, he's a minor. His advice is very clearly not malicious, merely ignorant. This is a situation where there is someone in need, hungry, and afraid of losing their home. Going too hard on the chastisement doesn't help anything.
4961831
Dilution, you're clearly not being malicious but telling someone whose parent has cancer that the doctors are maliciously keeping her sick, and that following some rabbit trail of alternative medicine will save her, is not appropriate to this moment. Perhaps at a later time when he's not in a terrible situation, when he has the luxury of considering other ways to address his mother's health problems, would be a better time.
That said, I will attempt to educate you somewhat here. Vitamins are substances to which homeostasis applies: too little and you're sick, too much and you're sick. You need a fairly narrow range of any given substance or it will begin to do harm. You can be poisoned to death by water, although dehydration is very bad for you. You can be poisoned to death by salt, although your body need a certain amount of sodium for good health. Overeating makes you very sick, as does starvation. Your body can generally excrete excesses of a vitamin but this damages the kidneys and liver because it forces them to filter the poisons from the blood when they otherwise would not need to.
As to your specific citation, it is indeed a valid one (in the future, I would strongly suggest directly citing the source instead of referring to another site which cites the source ; for your information, the link is https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/media/releases/how_vitamin_c_stops_the_big_c) but such things must be read with great care. As your own source says, the mechanism by which vitamin C helps with CERTAIN tumors is still not well understood. They've established that the conventional wisdom about how C helps is not correct, but the development is still preliminary and it would be very irresponsible to treat it as proof of a cure or even an appropriate treatment. Again, it helps some tumors, but not all cancers generate such tumors; leukemia is an example of one that does not. And unless MagnetBolt's mother suffers from one of the specific tumors that the research was conducted on, it would be grossly irresponsible to even try the treatment on her because there is no data.
You must approach these matters with great care, lest you accidentally offer a lifeline to a desperate person that will just cause them physical suffering and to suffer from false hope when they would be better served by continuing their treatment or seeking professional pallative care to maintain their quality of life. Worse yet would be to offer this false hope to someone who is being successfully treated with a a very positive prognosis. but is presently feeling hopeless because they don't seem to be getting better even though they are. Finally, it is enormously puerile to roundly insult doctors as a whole and suggest that they are evil and trying to hurt those under their care out of greed. There are bad doctors, incompetent doctors, malicious doctors, and capable doctors with utterly insufferable personalities, but the typical doctor is well-trained, well-educated, and doing what they can to better the lives of others. This should be respected. I believe that among the reasons you engendered such a negative reaction was that your comments were inappropriate to the situation, and spitting on established medical science is ordinarily a prelude to someone suggesting some kind of radical pseudoscientific miracle that will do nothing at best and cause suffering at worst.
4961839
I worked at a Bishop's Storehouse before. We did help several families that I don't think think were members. There's a process to qualify (I'm not sure how it works and this was years ago), to validate that you need help, because they can't help everyone, but they'd like to. Everybody working there volunteers their time unpaid, even management.
If not that, plenty of churches have some kind of assistance programs. Many, if anything, will just ask that you consider their religion, which isn't really asking much.
4961864
I did as well; I served a 1-year service mission at one. But I was attempting to approach the matter in a somewhat detached way. That said, thank you for adding your bit. :)
4961880
Ok let's say you're right, it does boost the immune system by a crazy, impressive amount, great doesn't fucking matter, it's cancer. The terrible thing about cancer, it doesn't matter how strong your immune system is, it doesn't fight cancer. As for cancers being caused by deficiency of vitamin C, I fail to see how a deficiency would cause mutations, if that's the case someone should tell the guys working with CRISPR.
4961885
Fuck, sorry forgot I was dealing with crazy
4961814 Then you know to make sure that the landlord A) gives you a receipt and B) written assurance that the eviction notice will be cancelled by payment of the bill. Because otherwise he can just keep on evicting.
4961880
The only post of yours that was visible when I was writing was #33. You can tell, because it's the one that's been stamped as my having replied to it.
It actually is established. The establishment is for a given time period (it was once established medical science that sickness was caused by an inbalance of the humors, for instance). but science is a thing which can be established, and is.
As the Earth is a globe, this was and is true.
This has never been believed. Many theories were concocted for what the moon and the rest of the planets were, but we always believed them to be a thing apart from the Earth. By the time of the formulation of the geocentric theory, there was certainty that the sun, the moon, and certain other planetary bodies existed; the poet Dante in his Divine Comedy spoke of traveling to Mars, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn as he ascended through Heaven.
This isn't entirely accurate. The conclusions formed by science have been falsified by more data or better experimentation but since its formal formulation, the method of science has not itself been proven wrong.
You said as a factual statement, that most doctors (at least in California) don't actually know their shit and are often times purposes keeping their patients sick and/or killing them. To call this "implication" is not true; you stated it explicitly.
What you said is that most cancers are caused by a deficiency in vitamin C. Your own link proving this does not support this, it only says that the application of vitamin C seemed to shrink some tumors. Deficiency does not appear in your link and "some" is not "most"; it's not wise to contradict yourself or make claims about what something says when everyone can read what you've written and follow your link, and know that you're not being truthful.
Until post #45, you did not speak about your own experience with doctors at all.
Typical is a wholly objective thing. It is a statistical statement of fact, equivalent to saying that something is normal, or represents the norm.
Jeez, that's pretty awful man, my best wishes, warms my heart seeing how many people have decided to donate, good luck!
4961899
Dude's probably a troll, wouldn't put too much stock in his 'statements'.
4961924
Could easily be the case but when you have nothing better to do, bapping a troll is entertainment. Besides which, his comments give me a chance to be informative to anyone who reads even if he either doesn't understand or isn't listening.
4961841
Please do literally any real research before speaking again. I don't have it in me to respond to every single one of your ridiculous statements, but these two in particular leapt out at me.
It's called "water intoxication." The most famous case is probably Jennifer Strange -- who only drank two gallons, hardly the "metric shit ton" you suggest is necessary -- but there are others.
What's your source for this? Because sumo wrestlers are, of course, very fat, not very waterlogged. Their daily eating schedules (read the "Sumo Food" section) are designed to make sure they store as much fat as possible by drinking copious amounts of beer and eating truly gigantic meals followed by napping. They have a shorter life expectancy due to the diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart attacks they experience from the enormous strain on their bodies from all the fat.
Again -- and I cannot restate this in strong enough terms -- do your research before making such bold statements. If you don't, at best people will think you're an idiot (for making claims like "dying from water is a lie" that are trivially disproven with a quick web search); at worst, you could actually hurt or kill someone who foolishly took your asinine medical advice to heart ("vitamin C is a more effective treatment for cancer than radiation and chemotherapy"). And to be clear: nobody was arguing that taking vitamin C in and of itself is dangerous. It's actually one of the safer supplements to take because it's so difficult to overdose on; since it's water-soluble, you'll just pee out whatever excess dose your body doesn't absorb. Your advice was dangerous because you were telling a cancer patient to replace their actual medical therapies with vitamin C, when there is currently no accepted evidence that vitamin C has any effect whatsoever on cancer.
Speaking more generally, you desperately need to learn how to critically evaluate information. Your teachers and parents should be instilling this skillset in you, but it seems they've failed you so far. But! There are a number of resources that can help you regardless: for example, take a look at the CRAAP test and the CARS checklist. Either one of these (ideally both!) should help you start thinking more critically about your information sources and begin to not blindly trust every claim you read.
Mom had to deal with the cancer a couple years ago too, wish I had the money to help. Godspeed man.
Guys.... Neither the time nor the place.
Cancer is not yet fully understood or able to be effectively cured, even by experts (both the self-proclaimed and the peer reviewed varieties). A single bad experience, nay a handful of bad experiences is not grounds to discredit an entire range of professions. Arguments of "extablished science vs. fringe/alternative science" begin with topics like vaccines, cancer, and the shape of the earth, but quickly (and almost universally) escalate into arguments of semantics across all fields of science. And I'd be right there with you guys if I weren't so disappointed.
While Diluation is calling for PM responses, I think it even more appropriate to delete the comments as Darkstarling has done.
I didn't open my feed and click on one of three other authors' calls to action just to stumble into this dumpster fire of a comment section.
4961934
statement (n): something stated, such as a report of facts or opinions
Now who's not reading? I specifically explained that vitamin C is not dangerous.
I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about this in particular.
In all seriousness and earnestness, I truly do hope you take the last paragraph of my previous comment to heart; learning to critically evaluate what you read (and hear) is one of the most important skills you will ever learn, and will serve you well your entire life. It's good that you're young; you have plenty of time to work on it.
I want to leave you with a quote that is often attributed to Mark Twain (though, in a perfect example of what I've been saying, if you do a little research you'll find this is almost certainly not a Mark Twain quote). It's another good piece of life advice:
Good luck to you.
4961958