Revising Phoenix's First Adventure and Other News · 5:25am Oct 6th, 2018
I always feel really self-conscious thinking about writing one of these things because it seems pretentious to assume there's people following my progress on my stories. But at the same time I wouldn't feel right to do this without any kind of explanation, so here goes.
The number one objection (no pun intended) that I've gotten from friends, family, prereaders, and commenters on Phoenix Flight is that they were uncomfortable with or couldn't accept an alternate reality where slavery is legal in Equestria, Celestia doesn't do a thing about it, and the majority of the population doesn't find this offensive enough to push for reform. The more I've talked this over with people, the more I've come to realize that the word slavery is probably too strong for what I'm trying to get at, and I probably did a poor job of explaining this institution in the first story. A different set of words, and a different way to introduce readers to the concept, probably would have been better.
I have big plans for my Phoenix Flight series and I don't want to turn off potential newcomers with a cringey first story. I think I have a better idea now for how to present the concept, but it will require edits more thorough than a simple ctrl + F. The basic A plot, the mystery, doesn't need to change, but many of the conversations between events will. One entire chapter will be removed... which is for the best, because it was a painfully long infodump. So for the next week, give or take, the story will be in a incongruous state, and afterward it'll be pretty different than what you knew before. But if you choose to revisit it I hope you'll find it for the better.
In other news, I have still been working on the second installment and it is near completion; I just need to get it ready for publication. I'm also almost ready to start on a series of prequel stories. They will be based on a different video game series and at first might seem like they are about an entirely different set of characters, but they are still canon to my Phoenix Flight series and are an important element of its backstory.
Thank you to everyone who's shown me support over the years!
I was a little put off by the slavery. But I still read thru it and liked it. I can't wait for more in the series and from you.