• Member Since 6th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2023

SC_Orion


Just an introvert who likes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I also like to write MLP fanfiction. Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony.

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May
18th
2018

Author's Commentary: Critical Mass Chapter 4 · 5:37pm May 18th, 2018

I really do hope you guys enjoy this series because today is the third day I will have spent working on this commentary in particular. It's not been entire days or anything, but still. It takes time to do this.

The day before yesterday was a great day, for my semester of college had finally ended! After successfully procrastinating until almost the last minute, I turned in my last essays for English and have completed a most difficult, nerve-wracking semester so now I can focus on procrastinating for another three weeks until the summer semester starts. But you're not reading this to hear about college, you're here because you, for whatever reason, want to see my thoughts on what I've written in Critical Mass.

I made some progress with Radiant the other night too. I'm starting to feel optimistic yet again. I think I shall have chapter 2 finished before the end of this week. I'm planning to work on it after I finish this commentary.

But anyway, Critical Mass, Chapter 4, everypony! Once again I don't remember what happened in this chapter but I do remember that Twilight just got ponynapped/foalnapped by the sadistic, definitely insane, Queen Chrysalis. I have a headache, so we'll see how this goes.

Warning, this Author's Commentary ("Commentary") will contain spoilers for Critical Mass Chapter 4. If you have not read Chapter 4 in Critical Mass, I advise you to turn away now and come back later. This Commentary may also contain information which has been said before in prior Commentaries, Author's Notes at the end of chapters, or in comments I have made. Be warned, it could also contain spoilers for future stories in this series.

You have been warned.



This chapter opens up with the horse everypony loves to hate, Glimglam, walking with the most adorable, shy pony ever, Fluttershy. They regret not bringing Twilight along for lunch, and that's before they realize what happened in their absence. Just think, all of this could have been avoided if they bought Twilight lunch first... sort of.

Starlight isn't quite as oblivious when it comes to friendship here when compared to herself in the show. Reading this, in relation to my musing on Radiant, I can't help but feel like there's not really anything that distinguishes Starlight in this series. What sets her apart and makes her different? Or is she just copy pasted from another character..? Sigh...

Starlight grimaced. "Yeah, but she would have said so if she was in there. I'll be back," she said. Before Fluttershy could protest again, Starlight disappeared in a flash of magic, then appeared on the other side of the door. Her gaze was immediately drawn to the already-made bed before her. She pursed her lips and looked around, "Twi-!" her call was cut off in an instant, and her blood chilled by a few degrees as her gaze swept over a section of the wall that had a red stain on it. Her face became expressionless as she struggled to process the red stain.

Ah yes, I remember this part. I may have enjoyed writing this more than I should have. This right here is a good example (at least I think so) of how someone can see something and then just not know how to react/and get stunned by it to the point that they can't comprehend what's happening. There have been many times where I have sort of reacted like Starlight here, however, thankfully, it wasn't to anything like that.

The next few seconds passed in a blur for her. Without conscious thought, her magic unlocked and practically ripped open the door. "Fluttershy!" she screamed, already running over to the lavender alicorn lying beside the wall. She slid to a stop, then sat down and examined Twilight with her eyes and magic, enveloping the weak alicorn with her aura. Starlight's body visibly shook, though a little relief passed through her body when she saw Twilight's barrel rise, then fall with her breathing.

Now, I want you guys to be honest. Please do me a huge favor and comment, if nothing else, then on this. Firstly, did you think Twilight was going to die at this part (or at the end of the last chapter), and secondly, did you think that this was Twilight or a changeling?

Fluttershy hastily galloped over to Starlight's former position, then sat down. She clenched her eyes shut and barred her teeth, then placed a forehoof on Twilight's body.

For far from the first time, I read something in this series and think "Twishy."

Starlight hastily, frantically teleported down to the castle's library, searching for the one creature of most value at the moment- Spike. Starlight rushed around the library looking every which way, but Spike was nowhere to be seen. Starlight clenched her jaw, then released and chewed on her lip. She continued looking left and right even as she cast another frantic teleportation spell, using more magic than necessary in her haste and thus creating a larger flash and a louder crack.

So if Starlight is doing this, what's the implication for Twilight, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Flurry Heart? Cause Starlight shouldn't be broken op in this series like in the show. Seriously, I was incredibly disappointed that Starlight and Twilight were more or less "evenly matched." However, I suspect Twilight recovered much quicker than Starlight, just judging from the part where filly Dash drew her attention and made Twilight jolt and teleport. But I am still disappointed. Even more so when you consider that according to the movie, alicorns are supposed to be able to take on armies. But rest assured, Starlight is far from the princess's levels in this series. And as an added benefit, Rainbow and Luna, rather than Starlight, are the heroines of this story.

I'm not sure how I handled this part, them finding out that Twilight was hurt and "mobilizing" because of it. It's an emergency, and I don't really have experience with that sort of thing to go off of to know if I did a good job or not.

Neither of them knew what to do. Spike was always used to Twilight, or somepony else, being there to tell him what to do, and Fluttershy was handling it even worse than Spike. Twilight was still alive, but seeing her lying on the floor, unconscious, wasn't easy for either of them, especially given the two blood smears on the wall, along with crimson on the floor, originating from Twilight's head.

Did I cross a line with this story? I tried to avoid crossing it, but I still may have. However, as Nox Selune puts it, "It's not Dark for the sake of being dark, there's an actual story to it and if there wasn't I would have stopped reading it." I'm probably misquoting him. So it's a paraphrase, then. But he's right; I didn't make this just to torture Twilight or to have an edgy/dark story. It felt necessary. The other story idea which I could have written really wouldn't have worked so soon after, and this story needed to happen soon- Chrysalis wasn't just going to wait around and do nothing, she wanted to and needed to strike back for revenge. And while this story is dark, I tried to write it in a beautiful way. I think I sort of failed to pull it off properly, mostly because I think I messed up the last chapter. It was supposed to show, more or less, Twilight being at her absolute weakest, and then Rainbow being there to pick her up and put her back together again and make everything okay.

And Celestia's reaction... I'm not sure it's correct either. Yes, she's calm, and she's good at handling crisises, and she should be calm, but still... Twilight is more or less her daughter in this series... spoilers for Radiant... maybe... :trollestia:

Celestia opened her mouth to respond, only to close her mouth and shake her head. "There is a lot I need to take care of right now, Spike, Fluttershy. I will stay with Twilight until Starlight returns with a doctor. If Queen Chrysalis is still here, she will not defeat me this time."

I tend to think Celestia is right here, Chrysalis wouldn't defeat her. Multiple reasons. Of which the most prominant would be that Chrysalis hurt Twilight.

Celestia's expression softened. She walked over to Fluttershy. "It is unlikely that she is still here... I do not know if something scared her off, or if she chose to leave Twilight in such a state... The latter... I do not want to think about..." she trailed off, swallowing.'Chrysalis, you left her for dead... Did you do that out of vengeance? You had to have known she was still alive... you wanted her to suffer...'She swallowed and took a deep breath, then shifted her weight on her hooves, trying to distract herself from the anguish the thought brought her.'Twilight... I am so sorry, I failed you... I didn't protect you...'She closed her eyes.

Additionally, had Chrysalis cleaned up after herself and not left a changeling behind, they may not have ever figured out what had happened. So yes, the reason was two pronged. One, it was a distraction to distract the ponies, and two, it really needed to happen for the sake of the story being workable. So this is kind of an example of me having to force something for the story, however, I think I did it in such a way that worked well. Furthermore, however, I also wrote this to throw you guys off, at least for a little bit. You think that everything may be okay, and then you realize that Chrysalis actually has Twilight since that was a changeling, and then you realized Chrysalis nearly killed one of her own to make it seem more like Twilight, which then makes you worry more about Twilight's safety, which that worry is not misplaced.

I probably did cross a line in this story, just basing that off of my rambling here.

I don't seem to have a lot more to say about the rest of that scene, other than motherly Celestia is just the absolute best. Well, I guess I can comment on Luna being a better warrior than Celestia. That probably shouldn't come as a surprise. I'd really like for Luna and Rainbow to develop a relationship in this series similar to what Celestia and Twilight have. I think that would be great.

"It's like the reactor all over again," Applejack muttered. "And now Twilight's back in the hospital again... How did this happen?" she asked. "I thought that the princesses were taking care of Queen Chrysalis!"

Applejack, please don't remind me of that story whose name must never be mentioned! I mean sure, maybe I can respect it because it started this series, but that doesn't stop me from screaming internally about it.

Starlight grimaced and slowly nodded, then looked back down at the floor. "This is my fault, I should have stayed there..." she said quietly.

I'm fairly certain that if you replace "Starlight" with "Rainbow" you end up with a perfect example of why I think the characters in this series seem copy-pasted. And that makes me feel uncreative now.

"None of us blame you, Starlight. You couldn't have known, besides, Queen Chrysalis is a big old meanie pants..." Pinkie replied, her voice devoid of her normal enthusiasm.

I still don't like Pinkie Pie that much.

Starlight closed her eyes and hung her head. "I had a chance to stop her the last time I saw her, though. I could have stopped her when she was flying off, but I didn't... Twilight's in this mess all because of me..." she whispered.

I don't really remember when this series is set now. Neither the time of year, nor which season of the show, but it has to be after season 6, right? That's when Flurry was born... if I remember correctly. It's hard to keep track of this stuff now. There's a lot of it.

"Twilight still lives," Luna replied. "And I will ensure that remains the case." She turned to face her sister, then lowered her head and looked at her meaningfully. "Go. Bring back Rainbow Dash and take care of what you need to do. I will protect Twilight with my life, and as soon as we know more, I will inform her friends."

Something about Luna saying "I will protect Twilight with my life" seems quite fitting, and I'm sure the reason I think that is because Twilight (and her friends) saved Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon/herself. It then seems fitting that Luna would be willing to give her life to protect Twilight. I would go into more slightly related details on this, but it could be spoilers for Radiant.

Celestia slowly nodded, then slowly rose back up to her hooves. "I wish there was more we could do for Twilight, but it seems that my magic didn't accelerate her healing as much as I had hoped it would... The doctors don't want anypony to see her until she wakes up, and at this rate, that may be a while..."

I feel like Twilight's accelerated healing doesn't really count for much in this series. It theoretically saved her life in Reaction, but at least so far as Critical Mass and Radiant are concerned, it doesn't seem like it makes much of a difference, which once again makes me question a few things. Twilight should probably eat more meat. Well, that sounds wrong.

She came to a stop in the doorway and looked at Rainbow. Fresh discomfort welled up inside her chest. She looked away from Rainbow and took in two more pegasi in the room. Of the three, only two looked familiar to her, and none of them noticed her. "My little ponies," she acknowledged.

First of all, when reading this, I read "Fresh discomfort" and got incredibly confused because, for some reason, my first thought was "Uh, who is that again?" Fresh Discomfort, what a name for an OC. Well, at least I can laugh about it.

I'm not sure I did a good job of Celestia telling Rainbow about Twilight, and I'm not sure I handled Rainbow's reaction to that well. I feel quite inadequate at these things. I'm introverted and I don't have a lot of experience to go off of for these things like "emotions." I... can be fairly detached, yet at the same time, I can be very softhearted. It's a strange duality, even more so when you're the one like it. But yes, I'm not sure I write things like this that well. But, maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. After all, like 30 people like the story so there's that. I can't be all that bad, now if only I could convince myself of that and actually trust myself when it comes to my writing.

Celestia slowly unfurled one of her wings, then extended it out and wrapped it around Rainbow's back, then slowly pulled her close. She lifted a foreleg up, then brought Rainbow in against her body. "She was hurt badly, but she will be okay, I give you my word. Luna is with her right now, protecting her, although we have no reason to believe Queen Chrysalis is anywhere near Ponyville now..." she said quietly.

Momlestia is a great tag on Derpibooru.org. If you haven't seen it yet, I advise you to check it out.

Rainbow took a deep, shaky breath. "I-I want to... go with Princess Luna... wh-when you go after Chrysalis," she stated, determination evident in her voice, even if it did come out weak.

This is somewhat important. For example, when I wrote this, I knew that Twilight had been taken, so this was planned so that Rainbow would get to rescue Twilight... but it also made her see Twilight at her weakest.

I don't remember putting any onions in my room, which is strange because for some reason I keep almost tearing up when thinking about what happens to Twilight.

Celestia and Rainbow developing a friendship? I like this. Additionally, I tried to write a story where Celestia was Rainbow's mother (set when Rainbow was a filly) and it has completely stalled out for about 8 months with no work done in it. It's disappointing because I have no idea what to do with it.

Celestia teleported a dry cloth to her, then levitated it down in front of Rainbow. Rainbow hesitantly took it in a hoof, then dried her eyes off. When she finished, Celestia took the cloth in her magic, then teleported it away. Celestia swallowed, then licked her lips. "I... was expecting you to react differently if I am being honest..." she said tentatively. Rainbow frowned a little but said nothing. "I was... halfway expecting you to be upset at me and my sister... since we did not protect her like we said we would..." she said quietly.

Rainbow slowly nodded, then looked down at her hooves and Celestia's hooves. "I... am a little mad at you, but... I can't blame you... You wouldn't want this to have happened to Twilight, and if you could have stopped it, you would have..." she said. She bobbed her head to the right. "And... Twilight wouldn't be happy with me if she found out..." she trailed off and smiled a weak, sheepish smile, which quickly faded.

In any other story, I think it would be safe to say that Rainbow would react that way, however in this series I don't really like forcing drama... for the most part. Or at least I don't think I like forcing drama. I suppose there have been a couple of times where I may have forced drama, but for the most part that's not something I try to do. [Ex, the time that comes to mind relates to Twilight's parents and talking about foals, which happened in chapter 2 if I remember correctly.] This calmness for Rainbow may also be a contributing reason as to why I feel like all of my characters in this series are the same- Rainbow's really not that brash, she's mostly mellowed out (mostly as a result of Twilight)... and then the rest of the main 6 (aside from Twilight) are barely in this series. And so I feel like all of my characters are the same and that there isn't enough variety. Plus, I feel like I've sort of written the series dully because of this. Do you have any comments or suggestions? I'd love to hear them.

Maybe it's just repetitiveness. I love the cuddles in Reaction, but... it kind of gets repetitive doesn't it? I overdid that, didn't I?

Or maybe I'm just overanalyzing this series... after all, I don't get to enjoy this like you do. I don't experience it the same way all of you do. I'm the one who wrote it, I know things that you don't, and so maybe that's the reason why I feel inadequate...

I'm getting really tired right now. I went to town earlier today, and so I drove, and going outside of my house always exhausts me, and now it's hitting hard. Plus this probably factors into it too.

So in the show, they call it Thorax's pack. In here, it's brood. Why is it like this? Well, for starters, this came out before that, or I mentioned brood before that, or maybe my memory sucks. However, the main reason is because I associate brood with insects more strongly, specifically the Zerg from starcraft and Starcraft 2. It just felt fitting.

Celestia licked her lips and sighed. "Somepony will come and get you as soon as anything changes, or if she wakes up," she said. "Stay strong, my little ponies," she whispered, then turned and slowly walked away.

I wonder what it would/will be like when/if Twilight starts calling ponies "my little ponies."

Before this series is over, Twilight and Rainbow are going to hate hospitals. Well, Twilight already does, but still.

'Why did I leave her? She wanted me to... but it was a bad idea! I should have stayed, she didn't really want me to go, she just...'the thought trailed off, leaving her wanting to hit something with her hoof to vent some of the frustration she felt. Her heart ached with every pulse, and it only hurt more to think about Twilight. She didn't dare think about what Twilight went through when Queen Chrysalis showed up. She couldn't think about that.

One of the major aspects or plot points behind this story was I wanted to confront this topic in particular. Rainbow was a Wonderbolt, so she wasn't around all that much, and Twilight missed her because of that. Additionally, to go into greater detail, Twilight has a bit of a duality of a mindset regarding this. She doesn't want Rainbow to be gone or away from her, but, and this should be quite obvious, she absolutely hates thinking that she's responsible for keeping Rainbow from doing what she loves- flying with the Wonderbolts. It might not be clear, but that is supposed to have been a major conflict in this series (Reaction, Critical Mass). And so because of this, she feels bad because she thinks she's standing in Rainbow's way. And she still feels that way... at least to an extent, and she has a hard time accepting Rainbow's love of her because of that. In a way, it poisons her and makes things harder for her. It doesn't quite click for her yet, so to say.

I don't really have much to say about Celestia and Luna's scene in Twilight's room. Other than I question healing magic in this series, and I find it slightly concerning that they may not have good healing magic. Remember this, because this is important. And this is a major Chekhov's gun for the story following Radiant. Well, it's an interplay with a few Chekhov's guns that shall culminate together... As of right now, it's going to at least be 2-3 Chekov's guns, and depending on Radiant, it could turn into 3-4 Chekov's guns all being shot in the same chapter. Sounds interesting, right? I'm smiling a bit maniacally right now. I love being vague and planning this stuff out.

Bonus points to anyone who can figure out what exactly that means, or just what Chekov's guns there are in this series which may come into play in the story following Radiant.

Rainbow searches for Twilight, but doesn't find her, and then asks for help. Also, I question whether the receptionist..? recognizes Rainbow, and what it says if she doesn't.

Nevermind, I didn't read far enough ahead before commenting.

And asking for help didn't actually help any. I remember this part now that I read it, but I would not have remembered it had I not reread it.

If I had a nickle for every time Celestia said "Twilight..."

"Rainbow Dash will be relieved that you're awake... I'm sure you would like to be alone with her for a little while... I think we can manage that, at least after the rest of the girls have to leave..." Celestia whispered.


"Y-yeah..." Twilight said uncertainly. "Th-that... w-would be n-nice..."

I enjoyed this part, because it's the start of revealing that it isn't actually Twilight. In hindsight, is this part obvious that it isn't Twilight? Probably not. I don't think it is for me.

"G-Girls..." Twilight acknowledged, swallowing.

I imagine that this exact sentence will be said at least two more times in the future of this series. Additionally, I imagine that changeling's heart is incredibly erratic.

"You don't look so good, sugarcube," Applejack commented warily, smiling wryly.

And the award for most obvious statement goes to applehorse! I wonder what gave it away? Was it the fact she was in the hospital, or the fact that Chrysalis...

"What... what happened?" Rainbow asked, half fearing the answer. Twilight's expression went blank, her breathing quickened, and the heart rate monitor beeped a little faster. Rainbow glanced at the monitor and winced, then shifted her weight. "Sorry, I... sorry..." she relented, sighing.

If it's not obvious, this is a panic attack... But it's also interesting to note that this isn't Twilight, and that it's a Changeling, so the Changeling is having a panic attack, and it's not really forced. So that Changeling is terrified, and he/she isn't Twilight. That should tell you something...

At least the doctor doesn't snap at Rainbow like that one did.

Rainbow held Twilight comfortingly, but it didn't seem to help either of them feel better. It didn't feel right to Rainbow, her alicorn was hurt and in pain, and she couldn't do anything about it. She was at least partially responsible for it, too. And that hurt her. But there was more to it than just that, she realized as her hug lingered. It didn't feel the same, Twilight didn't feel the same. She felt vulnerable, but her coat wasn't as soft, nor welcoming, nor was she as warm as normal. The joy she normally felt from holding Twilight didn't spark to life, instead her unease, discomfort, and fear only balooned from holding her.

It feels strange to read the word "balooned" here. It feels more or less out of place. But enough of that, this is where it starts to become obvious that mistakes were made and things are very very wrong.

Luna pursed her lips, then looked at Doctor Manner, whose brow creased. "That..." she trailed off. "What?" she asked, looking back at Rainbow. Her expression faltered. "That... did..." she trailed off, horror starting to well up inside her at a simple realization. "That... could be a changeling drone..." she said gravely.


Doctor Manner's eyes widened. "I'll go check in with the lab to see if anything abnormal came up in her blood tests..." he muttered, then took off at a gallop.

Probably cliched, but I just shivered. It might also be that I'm cold, since I'm just sitting here in the basement, where it's cold or at the very least cooler, and I just have a short sleved t-shirt on.

Rainbow swallowed. "L-Luna... if... if that's not Twilight, th-then..."


"Twilight is at the mercy of a monster... Chrysalis may have Twilight in her clutches..."

More shivers and I sort of had a bit of an adrenaline rush at that, you know, that feeling when you're reading and really into something, then get stunned by a realization or revelation? That sort of thing. But still, you guys must have experienced something more. Or perhaps I am far more arrogant and full of myself than I realized.

Additionally, I think I just about did that perfectly. That would have been a perfect place for a Cliffhanger.

"The results are conclusive, that isn't Twilight. The biosigns were close to an alicorn, but after further scrutiny, they matched that of a changeling," Doctor Manner answered. "They somehow managed to disguise it almost perfectly. I have no idea how Rainbow managed to detect it, but if she hadn't, it might have been days before we figured it out."

This is the part where I admit I forgot about this, and so now ignore my prior statement about why Chrysalis left a drone behind disguised as Twilight. I wonder how close the biomarkers of alicorns and changelings are... well, alicorns are ponies, and changelings are... bugs? That should be interesting.

Luna bared her teeth and lit her horn. She stormed across the hallway, then stood in front of the door. She took a moment to compose herself. "We need this drone alive, it is our only link to Chrysalis and Twilight," she said in an icy voice. She took a deep breath and braced herself, then quietly opened the door and strode inside. The quiet, calm beeping of the heart rate monitor had nearly doubled in pace since she had left, and the changeling looked at her fearfully, remaining deathly quiet, as if it knew it had been discovered.

I would not want to be on the receiving end of this. Also, maybe Luna actually does have a personality to her...

Luna grimaced and looked at Rainbow. "Chrysalis almost killed a drone in order to convince us that it was actually Twilight," she answered. She glared down at the changeling. "I need to inform my sister of this development..." she growled. She looked over toward the door. "Doctor, Guards!" she called. The two guards rushed in, followed close behind by Doctor Manner. The three of them looked at Luna and the changeling skeptically. "Make sure the drone doesn't escape and make sure it survives," she ordered. Without waiting for a response, she teleported away.

I really wish that I could be one of you guys and read this without having written it. I'm pretty sure I'd love this series... except for the story whose name must not be mentioned.

Yeah after rereading this, I am fairly certain I crossed a line.


Well, that's Chapter 4 for you. It got kind of intense, or at least I think so. I could be wrong. But I enjoyed rereading this chapter... especially towards the end. The last half of the chapter was good... or maybe my thoughts are skewed cause the first half I read yesterday and got exhausted.

I probably did cross the line with this story... and I may be worse off for it. But still, even remembering that I knew this story wouldn't be for everyone, it's disappointing. After all, I had, and may still have, incredibly high hopes for this series, although those hopes have been dimmed quite a bit by comparing Critical Mass's statistics to Reaction's statistics. So I am very much so hoping Radiant turns things around, otherwise I won't end up with a one-million-word-long series like I want.

I really enjoyed rereading the comments on that chapter, too. I also would very much appreciate comments on my commentary if you have time and would like to... if you don't mind that is... :fluttershysad:

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Comments ( 2 )

Firstly, did you think Twilight was going to die at this part (or at the end of the last chapter), and secondly, did you think that this was Twilight or a changeling?

I didn’t think twilight was going to die. The reason is that there are only two main characters in the series, and if half of the main characters die, the whole story will probably fall apart. If this story had a couple more main characters, enough so that if one dies the plot could keep going, then I wouldn’t be so certain. Authors don’t usually kill off main characters, but I’ve been wrong before.

But I had no idea that it was a changeling. I just thought chrysalis was being really stupid in not ensuring twilight was dead, but damn, that was some curve ball. I hate it when people write villains (in non comedies anyway) as stupid. And I was worried that it would happen would this story, but when the end of the chapter came, I quickly reversed my opinion.

I don't really remember when this series is set now. Neither the time of year, nor which season of the show, but it has to be after season 6, right? That's when Flurry was born... if I remember correctly. It's hard to keep track of this stuff now. There's a lot of it.

It’s definitely after the season 6 finale since that was when we got the colourful changelings. But probably before the end of season 7 finale, since that was the thing with the pony of shadows, and after that we had the movie, and the school in season 8. And you were done with this story before season 8.

This is the part where I admit I forgot about this, and so now ignore my prior statement about why Chrysalis left a drone behind disguised as Twilight. I wonder how close the biomarkers of alicorns and changelings are... well, alicorns are ponies, and changelings are... bugs? That should be interesting.

Whilst my head cannon on changelings says they can’t do this, that’s just me. You wrote otherwise, and I am more than capable of adapting. What I really don’t like is how the show portrays changeling transformation. I mean really, they can just turn into something far more massive than themselves. Creating that much mass from raw energy would take the power of hundreds/thousands of nukes, and I doubt by changelings are that strong.

Heck, if you’re making matter out of nothing, why not make some antimatter. An equestrian city look at you funny? Send in a changeling disguised as a fly, and then turn into a few kilograms of antimatter. And boom, (literally) the city is gone. A few dozen changelings by themselves could destroy all of equestria.

And we know that they are making genuine matter, because we see them interacting with the environment, it’s not just some photons creating an illusion something is there. Something really is there.

4863730
Thank you for your very thoughtful comment!

I tend to agree that something is wrong with changelings if they are capable of transforming into something much larger than themselves, or something inanimate (I.E., a rock). But changelings shouldn't be doing anything like this in this series, at least as of right now, so that's not a major concern...

A changeling turning into antimatter is hopefully not possible. That would be very bad.

As for the biomarkers, they weren't "supposed" to be able to properly mimic that, but Chrysalis did something or figured out how to. I never really went into detail on that. I don't remember if I gave it much thought, either. I think at one time I remember thinking something along the lines of "Maybe they had a changeling in the lab who messed with the results?" which could explain it. Additionally, Chrysalis may have had enough time to at least temporarily do something to the drone so that the biomarkers were close enough to fool them.

We'll probably never know...

I didn’t think twilight was going to die. The reason is that there are only two main characters in the series, and if half of the main characters die, the whole story will probably fall apart. If this story had a couple more main characters, enough so that if one dies the plot could keep going, then I wouldn’t be so certain. Authors don’t usually kill off main characters, but I’ve been wrong before.

You have a good point here. I remember once reading a story on here that involved a civil war, and Rainbow was one of the main characters, and she got killed... and then Twilight went insane and murdered Celestia... and then tried to kill Luna. I can't remember if I've written a story where I've killed a main character. I don't really think so... but my memory isn't that great, so I could be wrong.

But I had no idea that it was a changeling. I just thought chrysalis was being really stupid in not ensuring twilight was dead, but damn, that was some curve ball. I hate it when people write villains (in non comedies anyway) as stupid. And I was worried that it would happen would this story, but when the end of the chapter came, I quickly reversed my opinion.

This made me smile a lot. I'm quite pleased I was able to throw such a curveball.

Anything else you'd like to ask?

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