Guardians of the Aura – Patch 2.1 · 2:56am Mar 13th, 2018
-> WORLD
SYSTEM REBOOT – Guardians of the Aura is going to be remade!
I SWEAR THIS MEANS SOMETHING PEVERTED – New planet: RPP18.
WHERE ARE THE HYBRIDS? – Almost all hybrids are now pure bloods, with many other new species both mythical and not, with very few exceptions.
SINCE THERE ARE NO MORE HYBRIDS… – Hybrios no longer exists, but most cities of the country are present in RPP18.
RACIAL BUFFS ARE BULLSHIT – Too many species to keep track of species-based “buffs”.
-> AURA AND MAGIC
DIDN’T WORK AS WELL AS I WANTED IT TO – Passives aren’t a thing anymore.
BE SPECIFIC, DAMMIT! – Arcane element was removed. Seriously, it seemed to fluctuate between being like Light, Shadow, Spirit and even Nature at times.
WAY TOO MANY SPECIES NOW – Draconian element was removed. Dragons aren’t nearly as common for it to be relevant.
HOW DID THIS EVEN WORK? – Chaos element was removed. I have no idea how to work with it; it was just there because of Pinkie and Discord.
NO MORE INSTANT PETS – Summon element was removed. It was just a weaker version of Glyph really.
*HEADBANGING WILDLY* – Metal element was adjusted. Now Metal-wielders can create metal from any surface as long as they are touching it, but not from thin air.
WHO YOU’RE GONNA CALL? – Spirit element was adjusted. Now Spirit-wielders use energy from their emotions to create constructs or power up their physical attacks.
MOTHER NATURE WINS! ANIMALITY! – Nature element was adjusted. Now Nature-wielders control life-force, controlling all that is alive and doesn’t have an aura, manipulating their body structure, and even using the energy in its purest form.
NO MAGIC IS EVIL BY ITSELF – Necromancy element was adjusted. Necro-wielders control soul energy, the casters or the fragments of dead souls from those who departed. It functions similarly to Nature, but less cure-y and more corrosive-y.
-> CHARACTERS
-> FAIRY
BITCH, I’M FABULOUS! – Fairy is no longer a Griffoness, but a Kyuubi no Kitsune!
I HAVE MY OWN SPOTLIGHT! – Fairy is now a Light-wielder!
SOME JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN – Fairy is now a Fire-wielder!
-> SPIKE
I WILL LOVE AND TOLERATE THE SH*T OUT OF YOU – Spike is now a Spirit-wielder!
NOW A REASON TO BE CALLED “SPARKLE”! – Spike is now a Crystal-wielder!
-> LUNA
DJ M00NB34M5 – Luna is now a Sound-wielder!
-> SCARLETT
NOT EDGY ENOUGH – Scarlett is no longer a Griffoness, but a Kyuubi no Youko! That’s a Nine-tailed Fox Demon, by the way. Yes, Kurama is one.
-> VIPER
THERE’S MAGIC IN WRITING – Viper is now a Glyph-wielder!
-> DOLPH
OH, SO THAT’S WHY… – Dolph is no longer a Seapony, but a Dolphin! Big shock, yeah.
-> SORA (NEW?)
I USED TO BE A CANON CHARACTER, UNTIL I TOOK A PLOTHOLE TO THE KNEE – She was going to be Dragon Lord Ember when around the Guardians, much like Luna was, but it wouldn’t be possible. Now she’s a separate character.
-> SHADOW TALON
TEAM CHANGE – Shadow Talon from team Storm Weavers is now a Guardian!
-> NEO (NEW?)
PUSSY-BOY– NO, NOT LIKE THAT. – Mist, the Changeling from team Storm Weavers is now a Guardian, and his species has changed to a Cat! His name changed too, if you didn’t notice.
-> PURA (NEW)
AN HOMAGE TO A FREAKING AWESOME GAME – Guess from where she’s from and win a virtual cookie.
-> SPOILER CHARACTER NUMBER ONE
SOMETHING LURKS IN THE SHADOWS – An enchanted mirror unleashes an ancient evil.
-> SPOILER CHARACTER NUMBER TWO
FANSERVICE FOR THE WIN – An enchanted mirror unleashes an “Internetized” version of another character.
-> OTHER CHARACTERS
BEST BIRDS. PERIOD. – Aguion and Lightning are now Eagles!
YOU LACK THE ELEMENT FOR IT – Amber is still a Griffoness, but is now unable to change into a Pegasus!
REMEMBER THE DEMONESS JOKES? YEAH. – Niner Blaze is now a Kyuubi no Youko!
WHO LET THE WOLVES OUT?! – Lobis is now a wolf!
NOW SHE’S A LITERAL BITCH – Bella is now a Corgi!
ROAR TO THE SKIES! – Draco is now a pure-blooded Dragon!
BETTER GIVE HER A GOOD FIGHT – Dranitta is now a pure-blooded Dragoness!
PURRFECT – Metta is now a Cat!
CUTEST BIRD. WHO DOESN’T LIKE THEM? – Flora is now a Humming Bird!
NOW IT MAKES SENSE – Sunshine and Moonlight are now Star-wielders aligned to the Sun and Moon respectively!
THE STORM SETTLES – Team Storm Weavers was removed.
SHE WASN’T MINE TO BEGIN WITH – Sarah was removed.
BITCH, PLEASE! – Lupine was removed.
WINTER DOESN’T LAST FOREVER – Icicle Star was removed.
HIS HEART BROKE TOO – Boulder Breaker was removed.
GOOGLE IT UP – Chitin, former Aura Master of Nature is now Nova, the Enfield and… ok, that would be too much of a spoiler.
If you got the joke with this, you have my respect.