Re Write of Chapter 6 · 5:13pm Jan 26th, 2018
Rewrite of chapter 6 … more like revamp i am having a writer's block and i'm not satisfied with how this chapter is turning out i was abou 7000 words in and read it again and it was stale and stilted as well as forced it had no flow to anyone willing to give me pointers on how to make a scene pop i would be more than willing to listen.
To summarize the chapter so far which is not much in reality so here we go.
Naruto and the mane six get off the train the five besides twilight say their goodbyes and naruto and twi go to golden oaks introduces spike and yadayuda dinner happens naruto goes to bed wakes up from nightmares goes fopr a jog and comes back to listen to some music the music device naruto has is the iDroid form mgs5 … ijust like the design so naruto explains songs like you got another thing comin by judas priest and sharp dressed man by zz top the then proceed to sugarcube corner where they meet derpy and the dialog is really forced and i don't like like and that's pretty much were the chapter leaves off.
Like i said nothing much happens and it's pretty underwhelming as well as i am not happy with the result so i am probably going to re write or a the very least revamp the scenes.
I am sincerely sorry for the delay and i don't know how to make this chapter something i find acceptable and if its not acceptable for me im sure it won't be with you.
You guys deserve better and i am trying my damndest to provide but maybe a small break will help me make this chapter pop like i said im stumped you guys and i am really sorry.
Sincerely,
Visiting Sasquatch
P.S. there will be a herd for naruto derpy is going to be the first just so you guys know also
P.P.S I cant write a serious all the time naruto i'm going to make him more like he was a few years before his seat in the hokages position but have the experience of leadership he's more fun that way. still goofy, fun and still a little bit of a prankster if i write him all serious i get the emo effect no one wants including me more of an all around easter persona to write so that's a thing.
