Soul Searching, Soul Sister, and Soul Soldier · 4:38am Jan 15th, 2018
Hey... it's been a while, hasn't it? Not sure how much right I have to come back here after everything I've done, but this site just kinda popped back into my mind, and I came to the realization (too little too late, in a few senses of the phrase) that I left a lot of people here with a pretty bad taste in their mouths. I... don't really have anything to remedy that, I'm afraid. I just wanted to let everyone know that I didn't just up and die. Though on the other hand, what actually happened might not be much better from the standpoint of a reader...
So... it's been well over a year since I watched MLP or had anything to do with it at all. I honestly feel disconnected with the fandom at this point. Obviously, my time in the Herd are some of my most cherished years, and I'm still proud to be a Brony, however strange it is for me to type that word again after so long. Though I've grown from MLP, I don't think I've grown away from it. I might come back sometime, when the time's right. How I'm gonna do that while I'm in the Air Force now is the real question...
Additionally - and here's the part everyone's gonna hate - in the time I've been away from writing, I made a pretty heavy decision. I... vowed to never write fanfiction again. Mainly because I'm scared of making mistakes I've made on this site again, and just making more people upset. It's best to cut my losses while I can, despite my current losses already seeming so high. That said, I recently confided this information into an old friend of mine, and outside of the usual comforts and stuff, she offered to at least keep one of my fanfictions alive in spirit. Personally, I wish as much as you do that it was Pony Rangers that she offered to finish, but that wasn't the case. I get that this could be tearing open old wounds, but the story she wanted to write on was the very story that's tagged to this blog: A New World, A New Family. Her story, however, is of a somewhat different pace. Well... I guess you can read it for yourself here. She actually started writing it a couple weeks ago, and I did want to tell the potentially interested parties here, but I was honestly scared about coming back here. I feel a lot of shame for up and abandoning everyone like I did. But... well, I can get to that in my fourth paragraph.
So, as I mentioned previously, I recently became an Airman in the United States Air Force. Imagine the celebratory video or image that could accompany this fact that would fit the mood of this blog however you may. Anyway, I had to go through boot camp to get here, of course, and I honestly feel like I really grew as a person from the experience, hence why I could even come here to write this blog despite the shame I felt in the first place. I'm not here to apologize - I think I did a little too much of that before - and I'm not here for some big comeback either. I just felt those who may have remained concerned about me had a right to know what's been going on with me since I left.
Anyway... yeah, that's all I wanted to address. I've renounced fanfiction, instead deciding to focus my effort into protecting my country. (And still working on that old RPG Maker project on the side, of course.) As well, I wanted to finally name a successor like I said I would before but never did, that successor being my friend Camilla. I get it, it's not what you wanted to hear. It's not what I wanted to say, to be fair. But such is life. If there's two things I learned in boot camp, those two things are that everything in life happens for a reason, and to embrace the "succ" "suck" in life. Maybe this post will do something good for you once you're done reading it. Maybe you'll come away having learned something, or with a new perspective on something else. I dunno, that's just me trying to stay optimistic. That's another thing I learned in boot camp, but it kinda falls under "embrace the suck," which is why I didn't say it.
Well... this is actually kinda gonna be goodbye. An actual goodbye, I mean. I don't really have any plans to come back. I don't have any reason to do so, I'm afraid, considering what all I've said in this blog. That said... I wish every single one of you all the best in your lives. Good luck in your writing, careers, lives, et cetera. As for me... well, it's possible you'll see me again. Whether you recognize me is another story, but you'll likely see me again.
It's a small world out there, after all.
I'm.......... I'm gonna miss you dude.
never say never, and if u made mistakes, well, thats good! use that as a learning experience to grow as a writer. that being said, it is literally impossible to please everyone and ur fear of mistakes is natural, but unnecessary. take some time to consider, step away from the fandom if u need to, if u truely wish to leave, i will not stop u, but i and everyone else on the site would consider it a kindness if ur leaving permanently to mark all ur stories in progress as 'Cancelled' at the very least. and even if ur not writing, u can still read and comment. pass on what u have learned.
RIP...