Metroid Other M: The Worst $22 I've Ever Spent (A Rather Long "Short Story", then a Review) · 9:59pm Aug 5th, 2016
So, I finished Metroid Prime Trilogy a few weeks ago, and like an idiot, I didn't play a good Metroid game next. (I had my pick of the litter, too. Super, Fusion, Zero Mission, II... hell, I should have just replayed the Metroid stage of Kirby's Dreamland 3!) It started while I was at the flea market just a couple days after beating Corruption. I was armed with about $50 and looking for a new game to add to my already-too-long "to play" list. (Or an Amiibo. You never know what you'll find at the flea market.) So I wound up in this shop where, a couple weeks prior, I'd bought Lego Batman 3. (Pretty "meh" all-around. Still haven't finished it.) I was browsing the store's Wii/Wii U shelf, when my eye caught two things: Pikmin 3 for $30, and Other M for $15. The last time I'd checked the eShop before then, Pikmin 3 was about $30 or so, and though I wanted the game, it didn't seem like my cup of tea based on my performance in the demo. (Unrelated note, that's also my situation with Bayonetta.) As for Other M, that was a game I'd wanted to play and give the benefit of the doubt for a while now, and I knew for a fact that if it ever appeared on the eShop, it would be $20, and that, I knew, was far too expensive. I considered buying it, but wasn't sure. So I browsed the shop, just trying to kill time, when my eye caught a copy of Final Fantasy VII. I wanted to buy it right then, but I found out that my PS2 was a model that didn't have backwards compatibility, so naturally, I was bummed. After a little more searching, I saw Final Fantasy X, a game I'd hardly heard anything about. (Except for a brief reference here.) I didn't wanna leave empty-handed, and seeing FF7 made me realize that I'd never played a Final Fantasy game. FFX was also $15, but when I told the shopkeeper that I was interested in both this game and Other M, she sold me both for $22. "What a deal!" I thought to myself. Later, that thought would change to, "I bought FFX for $22, and the shopkeeper was so desperate to get rid of Other M, she added that for free."
So now you know how the eyesore of the Metroid series wound up in my hands. But is it really as bad as it's made out to be? I'll give you the short answer now: Put it next to Metroid Prime Trilogy, and it's basically Night of the Lepus. But if MPT is taken out of the equation, (let's be fair and take out every other Metroid game as well), can Other M at least be equivalent to Batman v Superman? Wait, that might be asking a lot.... Anyway, let's get on with the review.
The game starts out with a recap of the ending to Super Metroid. (Which I didn't appreciate, as this was one of the few Metroid endings I didn't already know.) Then it cuts to Samus recovering in a Galactic Federation hospital, where she's quickly pointed to the "tutorial room." At first glance, the controls did seem rather awkward, but I grew to like them over time. Besides, I'm actually a little partial to the run-and-gun genre, and Team Ninja... had a decent idea with the "switching perspectives" mechanic. I won't say it was fun, since I played most of the game in my room with the Wii U gamepad, laying on my bed, leaning on my elbows, but I liked it as a concept. I really did. Moving away from the controls, I'll talk about the story and writing. Let me say this right now: If you were recalling and narrating past events, you'd probably find yourself speaking monotonously as well. That being said, Samus' voice actress had no excuse to sound this way in the dialogue. I will, however, say that practically every other character had better writing and voice acting than Samus did. Shame. But, I did say I wanted to give the game the benefit of the doubt, so that's what I did... many times. And every time, I got caught (FOR AN HOUR AT MOST) at one of the "you sense something, now find it without any hints or cues" sequences. And there's at least a dozen if not more of them in the game, very few of them within reason. That, I'd have to say, was the worst part of the whole game. Hands-down. The cutscenes, even the really bad ones, you can suffer through. At least they end. These search sequences? They don't end until you check every pixel of your view. And you don't lock onto what you're supposed to find unless you hover over it for a full second. And most of these sequences give you full 360-degree range to search. And at least one of those has the objective right at your feet. And this is how the "final boss" is done. (Seriously, that last one took me 40 FUCKING ATTEMPTS THIS MORNING!) But I've ranted about the search sequences long enough. The actual action sequences are really fun in my personal opinion. The lack of health pickups is extremely annoying, but other than that, I had fun running around, dodging out of the way of incoming attacks, (an easy task when you just have to twitch your thumb in any given direction to dodge everything), and blowing things up. The only thing I found annoying in terms of action was the Concentration, your way of recharging missiles and recovering health if (and only if) your health runs low. Sure it's convenient... if the Concentration button wasn't the same as your Morph Ball button, and the game was finicky about what constituted an "upright" position for the Wii Remote. As for exploration and puzzles, I only achieved 43% completion because I just wanted to be done with the game. Maybe I'll go back one day and go for a better completion rate. One day. Maybe.
Anyway, the game can be summed up like this: bad plot, good action, plot holes, ret-con, pathetically trying to imitate Prime's Scan feature, built-up fights that never actually happen, really lame excuses for "last bosses," and end-credits music that feels like it's mocking you. Like Alpharad, I won't cap this review off with a score, but I will say this: If Nintendo ever puts this game on the Wii U eShop for $20, give them a huge middle finger, turn around, and try to find a copy for less than $15. I'd say "less than $8," but even for Other M, that's a bit unreasonable. If you really want a score, however, I'll rate it The Baby/10.
So yeah... that's what I've been doing without my computer. Other M, FFX, and most recently, Minecraft on Wii U. I'm considering buying Xenoblade X soon, but that's a bit of a long-shot. Anyway, this blog has gone on long enough. Sorry this isn't the update you all were probably expecting, but I just needed to get this long-ass review out there, and I don't have any means by which to put it all on Youtube. That being said, I'll see you all another time.
Ouch.
Maybe not yet, but you should look into finding such a means - it's a well-structured, insightful review that would make a good video.
4135040 Of course I will. (As soon as I get a new computer, I'll at least use Windows Movie Maker or something.) But thanks for the suggestion anyway.