Two Background Ponies Quickie: "Shadow Play" Aftermath · 1:54am Nov 1st, 2017
Mrs. Cake's laughter cut itself short as she noticed the ground was giving rhythmic tremors that were progressively growing stronger. She turned to the source, and her mouth opened in shock as she saw the biggest pony in recorded history walk up to her, cast his Warshovel down on the counter, and then sit and square her with his gaze.
"I hear you make the hardest punch in this...'Ponyville'." Rockhoof grunted. "I'll take a pint."
Mrs. Cake looked back at him uneasily. "I'm, um...sorry, sir. She got the last glass."
Rockhoof looked to one side, spotting a purple mare with berries with a Cutie Mark lick her lips as she was about to raise a wooden stein to her mouth...
The stallion lashed out with one hoof so powerfully that his blow to her jaw sent her sailing across Sugarcube Corner. As Mrs. Cake gasped in shock, he seized the half-spilled stein she left behind and immediately took a big swig. A moment later, however, he spat it back out again...right in Mrs. Cake's face.
"Gah! More of this accursed sugar water! Sons of Puddinghead...where's your ale?!"
The furious way in which he barked this made the mare cringe. "We...we don't have ale in Ponyville, sir..."
She cringed further as Rockhoof shot to his feet in a mixture of anger and disbelief. "You don't...No ale?! The Mighty Helm would rip the wings off a whole town of griffons for less! GRAH!"
Seizing his weapon, he began to smash the entire counter to bits as Mrs. Cake fled in terror.
Rarity eagerly watched as Mistmane read over the old book in front of her, emblazoned with the lettering "Famous Legends of Equestria". However, her look turned to puzzlement as Mistmane began to smirk and giggle at it, and it turned into uneasy confusion as she went on and started to laugh out loud. Finally, she dropped the book all together and laughed so loudly she cried; making the unicorn a bit unnerved.
"Oh, oh..." Mistmane laughed as she wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just that it's so funny seeing how historians took so many liberties with my story..."
Rarity's eyes widened, and she looked even more uneasy. "Um...liberties?"
"All that glamour and glitz about my friendship with Empress Sable Spirit... I never even met her until she called me in to redecorate the Forbidden Palace of Neighjing following how damaged it got when she seized it from the Coltreans. And just between the two of us, it would have taken a great deal more than one spell to make her look beautiful without that veil." She looked at the book again, smirking and shaking her head. "Forfeit my beauty? Dear...you don't even graduate from a traditional Paceian Temple of Magical Arts until you're 55. I'm flattered, but still... The things ponies come up with. I have to see what they did with Somnambula..." She flipped several pages and read a few lines, grinning ear to ear. "Oh, surely you jest...a sphinx?! Wait until I show her that!"
She looked over another passage, snickering again, while Rarity, a bit of her childhood dead now, sank in her chair uneasily.
The door to Sugarcube Corner opened up, and in walked a limping colt in a soccer uniform holding an ice pack to his head; escorted by his mother. He winced and made small "ow" sounds with each step he took.
"Ok, sweetie...we're just going to find you a place to sit for a little bit while I go and bring the wagon around to take you to Ponyville General, alright?"
The colt only kept wincing as he walked along. It wasn't long before he began to approach the tables that the patron at one table, Mage Meadowbrook, looked up and saw the hurt foal. Eyes filling with pity, she quickly rose from her chair and walked over to them.
"Landsakes...whatever happened here?"
"Oh, he was running too hard playing soccer with his friends," the mare answered uncomfortably. "and he didn't watch where he was going. He ran right into a jungle gym. He banged up his ankle pretty bad and his head, well..."
"May ah see? I am ah healer."
The mare slowly pulled back the ice pack and a bit of cloth used as a hasty dressing underneath. The colt winced uneasily as he revealed a small yet nasty and potentially deep cut.
"Oh, dearie me! Y'all just wait raight here an' ah'll see to ya'!"
The mare dashed off in a flash. The two waited patiently for a few moments for her to come back, but when she did they both went rather wide-eyed. She was now clad in her ancient healer's mask, but was holding a jar full of wriggling, writhing leeches in one hand and a red hot iron in another.
"Now you just set that youngin' of yours raight down an' let me put on some of these here leeches, an' after they've drained off most o' the humor, we'll just slap this iron raight on top of it and burn that bugger closed. An' after that's done, ah' got just the thing for that ankle."
She reached into her dress and pulled out a rusted bone saw.
"Excuse me, miss."
Somnambula raised her eyebrows and turned to the sound of the voice, finding Filthy Rich, Spoiled Rich, and Diamond Tiara walking up to them. The stallion of the bunch smiled at her.
"My name's Filthy Rich, and, on behalf of myself and my family, I'd like to welcome you to our fair town." He turned to his sides. "This here is my wife, Spoiled Rich."
The mare addressed her with one of her normal, upturned-nose, snooty "hmphs", but Somnambula bowed her head in greeting first to Filthy and then to Spoiled.
"And this here is Diamond Tiara."
Somnambula bowed her head to her next. "How do you do. So, are you another one of Filthy's wives, or are you a concubine?"
Both Filthy and Spoiled went wide-eyed. Diamond blinked before raising an eyebrow. "A...concuwhat? What's a concu-"
"Um, Ms. Somnambula..." Filthy quickly cut in. "Diamond Tiara is my daughter."
"Oh." She answered. "Then why is she not with her husband?"
"Husband?" Diamond retorted in surprise.
"Uh...Diamond Tiara isn't married."
Somnambula paused, but then nodded in a knowing gesture. "I see. She widowed so young she moved back in with her family. Not to worry. I look at her and I know she will marry again to a good husband and give birth to many children."
Diamond Tiara was getting more and more confused, while Spoiled Rich was beginning to glower and move to usher her away while glaring at Filthy Rich for introducing them. He himself was sweating uneasily now. "Ms. Somnambula, Diamond Tiara is only in grade school. She's never been married and she's got no plans to get married."
She paused for a very long time on hearing that. She stared at Diamond Tiara for several seconds of silence, progressively looking confused, before she leaned in toward Filthy and whispered.
"I know it's not my place to say anything, but you should probably be seeking to betroth her as soon as possible. It's unusual to start this late in life."
"She's, um...twelve."
"Oh dear...it's worse than I thought..."
With a clack, Rainbow Dash and Flash Magnus knocked their steins together before both downed their respective ciders as fast as they could. Both ended up finishing at the same time, slapping their steins down at once, and turning and giving them rear-leg-kicks to knock them away and into each other. Both gave a hoot and a holler before easing back into their chairs.
"Heh, that was great! I totally want to hang with you! You're awesome!"
"This time period is fantastic! No monster overlords still dominating the bulk of Equestria, no bivouacs in the legion on freezing plains or scorching deserts, and indoor plumbing for everypony! I love it here!"
"What'dya want to do for fun next? Equestria's got everything! Racing, skateboarding, skydiving, ziplining, hoofball, you name it!"
Flash tapped a hoof to his jaw in thought for a moment, then lit up. "You know...there's one thing I've been really wanting to do ever since we escaped Limbo but I haven't had the chance."
"Oh yeah? What?"
"I've really wanted to attend the next crucifixion!"
Rainbow Dash froze in mid-smile, her eyes widening. "...What?"
"I haven't seen a good crucifixion in a good long time... Heh, I used to really get into them. You should see me spit on the condemned as they march out to their deaths. I got 'em right in the eye every time!"
Rainbow Dash's enthusiasm dissolved. "...Huh?"
"And I used to make bets with the other Legionnaires about which one the birds would start eating first. Do we have enough thieves in Ponyville that they have to do more than one at a time?"
She didn't answer, now going open-mouthed and horrified. Flash only grew more excited.
"Oh...can I volunteer to scourge next time? Heh, don't mean to brag, but I did manage to cleave off a bit of flesh with each strike whenever it was my turn. Hey, that's it! We'll see which one of us can expose their skeletons first! Doesn't that sound neat?"
Rainbow Dash stayed silent, beginning to push herself away from the table with her lower hooves as best as she could.
Sam and Carl looked up from their plate of cookies and around Sugarcube Corner at the chaos that had unfolded. Three residents were trying to restrain Rockhoof in the midst of his berserkergang as the Cakes struggled to get what was left of their inventory out of his warpath. Applejack was throwing down her hat and cursing as Mistmane revealed a 200 pony team from the Mighty Helm had worked for three days and nights to complete the volcanic trench, which had already been 90% complete for decades before they dug a 500 yard channel to join with it of which Rockhoof had only completed 20 yards by himself. Zecora opened the door to walk into the eatery only to quickly dart out of the way as a mare and her colt ran crying in terror past her; Mage Meadowbrook chasing after them in her mask and brandishing her bloodletting equipment in one hoof. Filthy Rich was trying to slowly slink away to avoid any further public embarrassment as Somnambula frowned at him, shouting something that sounded like: "is she barren that she hasn't already found a husband?". Rainbow Dash was cupping a hoof to her mouth and trying not to throw up as Flash Magnus described the perfect way to drive a nail through the carpals of a pegasus so that the bone wouldn't splinter and come loose.
Both frowned at the sight before they went for their cookies.
"I'm so glad I didn't live in Old Equestria, Sam."
"I'm a bit surprised we're sitting here, Carl."
Both began to bite down on their cookies when they heard a jingling of bells behind them. A moment later, Starswirl the Bearded walked in between the two and leaned his head down so he could speak quietly to both together.
"Gentlemen, I'm sorry to disrupt your afternoon, but I felt as a good citizen I should warn you that a zebra just walked into the building unaccompanied by her master. Don't trouble yourselves; I'll call the local magistrate at once." He looked up, and went a bit wide-eyed. "Merciful heavens...she's actually speaking to a pony without being spoken to. What has Equestria come to...?"
He got up and began to walk off. Sam and Carl dully looked to each other a moment, before Carl smiled and looked back.
"I think things are going to get really entertaining here in about five minutes, Sam."
Yeeeeeeah see, after Luna, I reeeeeeally expect they're not going to just let these guys wander off without SOME reeducation.
Hmm... With all of those reality checks, I can't help but think that Mistmane is one of Carl's ancestors.
Also, dare I ask what Celestia was like back in the days when she sponsored cruci... Wait. If Celestia and Luna never met the other Pillars, and Flash Magnus was in the Royal Legion, who was the royalty the legion served? I mean, you'd think the hero of the Dragonlands would get commendations from whoever reigned at the time.
I'm going to need to think about this...
Once again, freaking brilliant!
4713774
I know there's some ambiguity as to how much "book canon" can be considered "show canon", but since "The Journal of the Two Sisters" was written by Amy Keating Rogers, which means she, at least, had all of that in the back of her mind for her own respective episodes, I tend to treat the events in that as canon...especially now as that book was, in fact, the first to mention that Starswirl the Bearded was an advisor/tutor to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna during their early reign.
According to that book, neither Celestia nor Luna had any real political power early on. Equestria in its early days wasn't meant to have any sort of monarchical rule; it was ruled equally by the respective heads of the three races. They were simply meant to be figurehead representatives as alicorns were physically earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns all in one. Under that situation, it was easy to see how various city-states made primarily of their dominant race (earth pony, pegasus, or unicorn) would have formed that would serve to govern themselves. In fact, what little authority Celestia and Luna possessed was actually challenged by the unicorns on at least one occasion. Aside from that, Celestia and Luna spent their early reign as fillies who had yet to receive their respective Cutie Marks. (It wasn't until a few years passed that they took over the duty of raising the sun and the moon and, as a result, became "deified".)
In those early days, I kind of envision Equestria as Canaan in the Old Testament. The three races had settled securely in what is now Central Equestria (which is why the Castle of the Two Sisters was erected in the Everfree Forest), but there was likely a combination of large portions of Equestria under the dominion of monsters or hostile forces and/or certain portions constantly being oppressed and attacked (such as by the Sphinx and the Dazzlings). It was the Old Pillars of Equestria who progressively subdued those threats so that Equestria was able to be settled and as peaceful as it is in the modern day.
4713825
I'm glad someone else had that head canon. Although, there's one area where I think Shadow Play may have made Journal non-canon. When they started building the castle, they found the Tree of Harmony in a cave underneath the construction site, and Star Swirl was still there. Any ideas how this discrepancy could be explained? Because I'm stumped.
4714076
It's laid out in "The Journal of the Two Sisters": Starswirl the Bearded took up time travel and the end result caused him personally to be displaced in time (spontaneously growing older and younger). The journal even outlines that he had met Twilight Sparkle in the future. Under this situation, it's possible that Starswirl actually tutored Celestia and Luna many years earlier or many later after he and the rest of the Pillars of Old Equestria were banished to Limbo. It's possible that the "present" version of Starswirl might be the one who met Twilight Sparkle and actually has yet to go back in time and tell the Cutie-Markless versions of Celestia and Luna about it. Under this scenario, Starswirl and the rest of the Pillars could have been in the past and planted the Tree of Harmony for himself to discover it years later, completing a classic "time loop".
It's enough to make Doctor Whooves' head spin.
Aside from that, there's also the whole possibility we can chalk some of it up to the "Shadow Lock Plot Convenience".
Oh my.