"We Are Now Open for Beatings!" · 4:49am Oct 12th, 2012
Hello, everyone! Despite the hazardous environment and extreme threat to your mental states of well-being, you have all come here, and I thank you for your brainless outstanding commitment!
Now, here's the deal, ya'll:
The HQ of Evil Tyrant Magnificent Bastard Inky Swirl is situated on the front lines of FIMFiction. His Bastardry's main source of cattle head comes from new fics that roll in fresh off submission and the feature box; other victims are obtained through much roaming and senseless clicking.
However, His Bastardry's hunger is not yet satisfied... more stories must be ravaged with Inky's silver tongue in order to gain homeostasis.
Homeostasis:
The tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, esp. as maintained by physiological processes.
THEREFORE!
I am now opening the doors to the HQ for those who wish to willingly subject themselves to the Swirly Court's punishment and/or mercy. If you have a fic that must be blessed by a critical power higher than your own, usher it forth, and I may take pity upon its poor, weak little shell.
(In English: I really enjoy helping people whose fics need improvement or a critical review; it benefits the author, the readers, and myself. In making writing better or analyzing it for flaws and strong points of fine quality, everyone involved gets better and feels better. So, if you'd like to swing something by me and see if (and how) I hit it, please, indulge me.)
Also, if a subject of the land of FIMFiction sees a monster in the woodlands worthy of being hunted by His Bastardry, please point it out, and vengeance shall rain down in the form of knifing statements and hilarious images.
Boy, oh boy, I am gonna regret this shit in the morning!
Well ... I could use a pre-reader for my Trixie fanfic and possibly the first draft of my superhero sequel. I am a failry decent writer, but there's a thoughtful, personal, emotional depth most authors have that I don't seem to.
SHABONGABONGA!
I am the djinn of stuff and things! Here's something for you!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/40468/The-Ursa-Minor-Incident
This amused me with it's character dialogue! I think it shows promise, but it has received NO attention and is written strangely! Read my comment on the fic's page for more of my input!
418054
Thanks for the tip, Agent Derpy-Dash. I'll put my men on it immediately!