More Hands Fun · 3:49am Jul 31st, 2017
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"Ah, this is perfect," Twilight said softly, as we gazed up at the sky. The night had fallen, and I had a cup of hot cocoa in my hands. I smiled and looked over at her.
"It is, huh?" I said. "Just us... And the stars above."
"Yes," she said. "There's Exador, the Charging star." She pointed up at a bright point of light. "It forms the tip of the horn of Exar Ultrix, the Lord Unicorn of Pharos. He mowed down his foes with the might of his Solar Spell. Especially Ebon Wraiths."
"So he's... Real? I mean, he was real," I asked. Twilight frowned.
"Of course he was real. He was honored by Princess Luna herself by being cast in the stars. Don't you have constellations back home?"
I grinned. "Yeah, but nopony back home got cast in the stars. Like, during the winter... Hang on," I picked up a stick, and dragged the tip through the dirt. Twilight watched, shining some light. "There's a constellation called Orion. It's made up of several stars. Orion was also a warrior."
"What did he do?" Twilight asked. I chuckled.
"Got killed by a giant scorpion," I said. Twilight nodded.
"This is supposed to be unusual?"
"Yes, it is," I said. "I mean... You live in a world with monsters and demons and aliens and... And everything! In my world, all of that is just stories. Myths. Legends." I shook my head. "There's no magic. No wizards or anything."
"But that all had to come from somewhere, didn't it?" Asked Twilight, insistent. "It didn't arise from nothing."
"Maybe," I said with a shrug. "I mean, I am arguing with a magic talking unicorn. That tends to blow a lot of arguments out of the water."
"Oh? Just any unicorn, or me specifically?" Asked Twilight, grinning at me. She nuzzled my shoulder, and I smiled back. I ruffled her mane, making her pout at me.
"You, of course," I said. I sighed. "Though... How my race would have survived against giant monsters and magic... I haven't the foggiest."
"You've done pretty well for yourself, you know," Twilight said, with raised eyebrows. "Not an ounce of magic in your body-I've checked-"
"Should I be concerned about that?" I asked snarkily.
"And your race did give a good accounting of itself against the Changelings," Twilight continued with a slight huff. She smiled. "Indeed, Princess Celestia did call you the Sword of Equestria."
"Oh don't remind me," I sighed. Twilight frowned.
"What's wrong? What's so upsetting about that?"
"Not upsetting. Annoying. I mean, sure, I helped save Equestria but... Well, there was a-a legend you might say, of a man. A hero, the last survivor of the greatest war in the universe. He saved the universe, countless times. He was feared but seen as a symbol of hope. Even creatures that weren't supposed to feel fear were terrified of this mad man with a box."
"It is utterly unsurprising you have such a legend," Twilight said dryly. I rolled my eyes.
"But there came a time when that... That legendary reputation of his got him into a lot of trouble. And accidentally caused the universe to blow up."
"Oh come on," Twilight scoffed, "how bad could it get?"
In the distant future...
I was old now. So old, so weary... I looked in the mirror and I swore I saw John Hurt staring back for a moment. Maybe I should shave the beard.
Don't you dare, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Ruler of Equestria, telepathically sent me. I rolled my eyes as the Time and Space Transport shifted us through the barriers between universes. It made my bones shake a little. I was used to it though, commuting between worlds. This one though... This would be new.
"I'm one hundred and... *cough* years old. I'll wear my hair however I damn well please, thank you," I grunted, adjusting my long duster. "It's one of the few parts of me that are still original."
"Now now, it isn't all bad," Twilight said with a gentle smile. "I can think of a few things that could use some improvements."
"Haha," I said cutely. "Fluttershy never complained."
"You always found ways to alleviate my complaints," Twilight purred, her wing brushing my shoulders. I chuckled.
"Yes, yes I did," I said. "As for my complaints-"
"Now now, I did not say anything untoward," she said. "This is your homeworld, after all."
"Right," I said, adjusting my collar. The ship came to a "stop", and the doors slowly opened. "It'll be nice to see home a... Gain?"
Helicopter rotors and hovercraft engines roared as gunships, some held aloft by blades and others jets, circled the ship far above. Several fighter jets screamed overhead. And all around the ship were guns-Guns from tanks, guns held by soldiers, guns held by other guns, laser cannons, missiles, rockets...
And there was a woman in a smart suit and an eyepatch smiling at me.
"Hello Shepherd," she said in a silky, deadly voice, "or do you prefer 'The'?"
I slowly looked over at Twilight. My beautiful wife, my princess, my ever faithful companion. She was looking to the side.
"... What did you tell them?" I hissed.
"Just the truth," Twilight said.
"Of all the perfectly good things you could have told them, why did you tell them that?!" I shouted.
The present...
Twilight stared at me. "... Why did the woman have an eyepatch?"
I sighed. "Long story."
She grinned. I rubbed my face.
"You're not going to let me leave until I tell you it, are you?"
"Nope."
"Fine, fine, strap in," I sighed. "Once upon a time on a planet called Gallifrey..."
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*plays Doctor Who theme*
4618764https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99EzuV0ZF6A
Heehee. Hands + Doctor Who. Wonderful
I feel I should know where that scene was taken from. But for the life of me, I can't think of it.
Demons run when a good man goes to war