Story Reviews » SA Reviews #107 · 1:42am Jun 25th, 2017
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Briefcase in hand, Chris nervously entered the room. It was bare except for an imposing desk and a high-backed office chair, the latter with its back to him. “Um, hello? I’m here about the interview. Ah, about becoming a Seattle’s Angels reviewer?”
“So, you’re the new guy, eh?” The voice came from the chair. Chris watched as it slowly swiveled to face him, revealing a diminutive rodent perched upon it.
“Um, yeah, pleased to meet you.” Chris held out his hand, a gesture met with an arched eyebrow. “Right, squirrel, sorry.” He awkwardly brought it back to his side. “So… you must be RedSquirrel, right?” The rodent’s other eyebrow joined the first. “Oh, uh, I guess that’s a silly question.”
Red sighed. “Newbies. Well, you may have impressed HR, but you’re still going to need to get through me if you’re going to work here.” He sighed again, this time a little louder. “Now first, you’ll need to learn how to review a story. It’s a hard job, and it takes a long time to—”
“Actually, I’ve got a lot of relevant experience!” Chris pulled a resume from his briefcase. “I’ve got my own fanfic review blog that’s coming up on six years’ worth of fanfic reviews—over a thousand stories and more than 24 million words worth of fanfiction, including close to 400 in-depth reviews of the biggest, most influential, or just all-around most popular pieces of writing this fandom’s produced!”
Red rolled his eyes. “Okay, so you’ve done a review or two in your time. You still don’t know what it’s like to do a recommendation review, especially not one where you’re working with someone else. Before we can even consider you, you’ll need—”
“As a matter of fact,” Chris cut in, “I’ve also got nearly four years of experience working with the Royal Canterlot Library! You know, that other group that does site-wide fanfic recommendations?” He pulled a few more papers from his briefcase. “I’ve got letters of recommendation from Horizon, PresentPerfect, AugieDog, and Soge right here, if you’d like to look at them!”
“...Well, I’m still going to have to show you how we dig up these stories in the first place. Around here, we only feature overlooked gems, stories that have been passed over by the fandom but deserve a spotlight. It’s not easy to find ‘em, and—”
“Oh, about that!” Chris pulled yet another sheaf of papers from his briefcase. “I had a few suggestions for stories with under 1,500 views.” He smiled bashfully. “I didn’t know whether I was supposed to bring these to the interview, so I only have a few dozen handy. Is that enough to get started?”
Red gestured, and Chris placed the stories on the desk. Pawing them over, he grabbed a few, then pushed the rest aside.
“Yeah, yeah, these ones will work… alright kid, here’s the deal. Get these all reviewed, so I can see how you do under pressure. Impress me, and you’re in!” It sat back on its haunches, grinning smugly. “A good reviewer doesn’t dawdle, now, so get—”
“No worries! I took the liberty of writing up reviews for all of these stories in advance!” A fourth flight of papers were produced from the briefcase.
Red shook his head. “I… you know what? Fine. Let’s get this show on the road…”
ROUND #107
Surf-on-the-Shore-Brings-Sand-to-the-Depths is a sea-pony. This, in itself, would not be strange, if any other sea-ponies had been seen in Equestria for the past 500 years.
Why, then, has he washed ashore now, covered in what look like hundreds of shark bites?
Worldbuilding. When it’s done poorly, it’s an author heaving a giant pile of headcanon at the reader like a startled turkey vulture hocking up a half-digested wad of antelope intestines at a hyena. But when it’s done well, it’s like being served a steak tartar at a five-star restaurant.
This is the kind that’s done well, in case that wasn’t clear.
So what makes it “done well?” First of all, the simple fact that the author’s take on seaponies is a novel blend of G1, mythology, and original concept, all rolled together and combined in a new and unique way. Second, there’s the way that the story presents all of this worldbuilding: from the in-universe writing on the subject all the way to the character and place names, every word reveals a little bit more about this untouched-by-the-show corner of Equestria.
But perhaps most importantly, there’s an actual story here. Sometimes, stories about worldbuilding forget the “story” part, but I’ll See You to Shore is a bittersweet tale about learning to love the unknown, and to treasure the unexpected. It reminds us that the things we seek and the things we need aren’t always the same, and that the former should never blind us to the latter. It’s a fairytale-esque romance on top of it all.
So yes, it’s worldbuilding. And it’s worldbuilding done well. But it’s much, much more than just that.
SHOO BEE DOO SHOO SHOO BEE DOO SHOO BEE DOO SHOO SHOO BEE DOO SHOO BEE--
Ahem. Sorry. That was my seapony alarm! I love the little blighters. In a magical world the unexplored frontier of the sea calls to me for some reason. Here on Earth we have nothing but predatory worms and disgusting fish with gullets like a bag lady’s bags. MLP is sure to have something better! And if this story is any indication, it certainly does.
This is how you build a world. Taking ideas from G1 and other sources, throwing in a dash of fairy tale romance as the central thrust of the story, and letting it simmer in a pot of original and fun overarching concepts. The story answers its own questions: why haven’t seaponies been seen for a long time? What keeps them from coming up to the surface? What could make them compelling characters? The fact that the story has gone to a blank spot on the map and filled in all the important details is what sells it as a worldbuilding exercise, and the cute, strong characterization of its protagonists is what sells the story part of it. I’m a bit of a sucker for the unlikely romance, so I may be biased, but in the end this is a story purely with OCs… and yet it still feels like a part of the MLP universe we know and love. And that’s quite an accomplishment.
Just the typical adventures of my four-year-old son with his ponies.
I’ve been talking this story up for years, and the fact that it has barely 600 views makes me tremendously sad. You all come to places like SA Reviews—to places like FiMFiction itself—because you want to read stories about ponies, I get it! But here’s a piece of nonfiction about a brony and his son, playing with MLP toys and—
WAIT, COME BACK!
...Still with me? Look, I know that “FiMFic author writes about his real life” isn’t what you came here looking for, but believe me when I say that it’s something you should read. Pascoite writes about playing ponies with his four year-old son in a remarkably accessible, downright adorable collection of vignettes. Through this recounting, we get a chance to see what a young child makes of the show—something a lot of adult ponyfans aren’t really in touch with—and through their interactions, we see the kind of loving family bonding that will warm the cockles of any heart. Plus, if you haven’t played pretend with a young child recently, here’s a cozy, lightly humorous look at the flights of fancy and imagination to which they’re oh-so-prone, not to mention the mood swings and whimsy.
Pascoite is a great writer. And as this story shows, he’s also a darn good father. So do yourself a favor, and give this a try. It may not be what you expected to be reading about today, but don’t let that stop you from savoring this real-life slice-of-life.
So back in the days of early pony, when they still had toes instead of hooves and giant terror birds roamed the plains and people still took accusations of MLP being “unmanly” seriously, there was a brou-ha-ha about “metastories,” those being stories about us, the fans, rather than the show itself. Many considered them to be self-indulgent wastes of space, less derivative and more narcissistic. Others enjoyed the fandom so much they couldn’t bear to be without a tale or two of Johnny Everyname and his adventures with his Twilight Sparkle plushie.
Well, this story sidesteps the issue by making it a story about love rather than the actual personages in it. It’s a meta story about a man who finds ways to connect with his child and have fun that he never would have before if it weren’t for MLP, and the wonderful positive impact it’s had on his life. There is no attention-seeking about what a big fan Pascoite is or what he thinks about minute details of the show, only an exhibition on the togetherness that a show like MLP can truly foster when the focus is on how it breaks down barriers rather than which pony waifu we most relate to.
It’s whimsical, it’s cute, it’s thoughtful, and it’s not about us. Would that we all remembered that more often.
Faced with an incompetent captain, orders that make no sense, and a winter of boredom and terrible coffee, the choice for Stoker was to either like it, or lump it. So he chose mutiny instead. Unfortunately, life is seldom as simple as all that, especially in the frozen north of Equestria. Before the day is out, he will have to face a royal visit, negotiations, a terrifying new weapon, and history that wants to be repeated.
With a complete chorus of soldiers, sailors, tractor axle makers, princesses, terrible bars, crossed wires and big mistakes, you could do a damn sight worse than read The Battleship Ponytemkin.
If you’ve never seen Battleship Potemkin, you really ought to. It’s a classic for a reason, and even now, nearly a hundred years after it was filmed, it still holds up as a tale of rebellion against unjust and uncaring authority.
But even if you haven’t seen the film, you can still dive right into James Washburn’s story. No further knowledge required! Because, you see, this isn’t just a ponification of a classic plot. No, the author takes the general premise of the film, then constructs an entirely original story using it.
For myself, the most interesting part of all this is the way the tone changes as the story goes on. What starts as a bit of cynical comedy eventually becomes much more serious, even grim at times, before dipping into an unexpected but not unwelcome bit of metafictional reflection on what a “story” is and must be, and then bringing things back around to conclude. Going through all that territory could easily leave a story feeling disjointed, but here those variations are a strength precisely because the abutment of silliness and ennui captures the spirit of Russian writing, all while never losing an essential element of ponyness. This feels like a ponyfic that incorporates Russian lit themes, rather than Russian lit with the characters replaced by ponies, if you understand what I mean.
But if none of that sells you on this story, here are some quotes that will hopefully showcase the quality of writing, because I seriously highlighted over a dozen “favorite lines” when I read this, and it’d be a shame not to share at least a few of them:
This marine had one of those ‘quick-draw’ neck sheaths preferred by the flashier kind of thug. Keel felt more at ease facing a pony who thought it was good tactical sense to keep a knife next to their throat.
It was Hardcolt’s heartfelt belief that the worst thing you do is praise someone about abilities they do not possess, and so he endeavoured to never praise anyone ever.
“Well, its official designation is the Model Four Rotary Cannon, but we find it easier to refer to it after the names of its inventors, Fifty Smith and Callisto Wesson.”
She coughed politely. “We call it the Fifty-Cal.”
If those don’t make you want to dive right into this fic (and I promise you, they are not an unrepresentative sample), then nothing else I can say will.
The Field Marshall was beyond the usual drill-sergeant rage. She had gone past fury and collected 200 bits and was now well on her way to putting down several hotels on Incandescent Avenue. She veritably seethed.
Many stories with all-OC casts fall prey to something or other. They spiral out of control when the author realizes they had an idea instead of a story. They start being about how the OC is the best thing since Princess Celestia. They wring their hooves instead of boldly going forward with their ideas. They boldly charge in where there should be restraint.
This story displays none of the above. It’s a great little tale about the supposed inevitability of conflict, the attempts by those above and below the chain of command to usurp it with good and bad intentions, the politics behind power and revolution, the nature of stories and how history imprints itself onto the land, and the wonderful spirit of camaraderie a story can develop with a reader if the cast is solid and fun to read about.
Starting with the disaster of Prince Blueblood being put in charge of a battleship ready to blow, it launches into territory you don’t often see written about in pony, and certainly not with such wit and flowing sentences as this. I mean, what other story will you get where the land itself has as much character as the ponies living on it? This story grounds itself in a place and time by referring to other historical events, some more bloody than others, and yet still manages to feel as pony as pony can be. It does not over-indulge in the grittiness of political revolution, nor the savagery of combat, or the machiavellian moustache-twirling of villainous plots. It does have many charming turns of phrase, very many words that I never knew existed, and a sense of droll appeal that oozes from every sentence. Tonal shifts never feel jarring, and a spirit of humorous melancholy pervades through it all.
I absolutely loved this story, and turning it down instead of picking it up to read as soon as possible is as foolhardy as the Charge of the Light Brigade.
Princess Celestia is due to arrive in Ponyville in a few hours. Nothing is ready. The town is being invaded by a swarm of parasprites. Pinkie Pie has gone completely loco-in-the-coco and is rushing around Ponyville collecting random musical instruments.
However Berry Punch and Golden Harvest have another problem to worry about. They have to redo their banner.
What, did you really think that this, my first SA review post, wouldn’t include a Carrot Top fic? WELL CLEARLY YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH, BUDDY. Carrothorsewords ho!
With All in the Presentation, Pineta gives us that classic fanfic premise: “what were [insert minor characters here] doing during [insert episode here]?” From this, he weaves a simple and straightforward, but deceptively clever, tale about the girls and their “WELCOME PRINCESS CELEST” banner.
When I say it’s “deceptively clever,” what I mean is that the author uses this premise to very gently, almost tangentially, comment on the act of writing itself. This kind of thing can easily be belabored, or feel like unwelcome self-awareness, but here it’s treated with just the kind of light touch needed to add a welcome hint of purpose to a wonderful but willowy bit of writing. Even when that’s left aside though, the main plot is a perfectly show-tone, behind-the-scenes glimpse of background pony-ness.
Really, the only thing wrong with the fic is that it uses the name “Golden Harvest.” But then, I suppose I can’t force the fandom to adhere to my personal preference for background pony names. Yet.
What can we say about a story that is simply [x] does [y]? So many of these fics end with a sex joke, or no joke at all. They are here today and gone just now, in and out of your mind before you even realize what happened.
Then there’s stories like this one.
So it’s Golden Harvest and Berry Punch in the background of Swarm of the Century doing their banner over and over again as the chaos of the episode rages just outside their windows, like huddled children ignoring a storm by doing a coloring book. It’s so simple it might as well be in a children’s book… yet it’s a little more than that. It’s a commentary, but more a look at something than a true remark. It’s not biting or sarcastic or an ‘ah-ha! Gotcha!’ moment where you suddenly realize that’s what it is. It’s just a tale about what it is to write something, and the hilarious frustration that implies.
“Well kid… you did good.” Red frowned. “Not great, but good.”
Chris leaned forward eagerly. “Does this mean I’m in?”
“Eh… sure, why not. Just try not to let the rest of us down, okay? We’re pretty much the best of the best, and if you aren’t up to snuff, it’s egg on all our faces.” He scrunched his nose. “Especially mine.”
Chris straightened up and placed his hand on his breast. “I swear to you, Redsquirrel486, that I shall endeavor to justify your faith in me. In all things, from now until forever.” A steely glint was in his eyes, and from down the hall there echoed an eagle’s cry.
Red leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, whatever.”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
New embed powers and you ain't gonna use'em here?
For shame.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Soooooooo... Does this mean I'm not the intern anymore?
Don't worry about Red. He may seem hard to impress, but give a few of your salty nuts and he's all over you like red fur on a fox.
Just don't bring in any foxes. He doesn't like those.
Okay, that was cute and added to my read later list.
You monsters.
Reviewers don't interview Chris. He built the pony reviewer gig. I don't think he built it on rock and roll, though.
4582296 We looked at em, they didn't do enough for us :P
4582326 Sure we do! We'd be nothing without our egos. n_n
Figures this would be the story you picked, Chris. It's even gotten another downvote since you ranted against the 3 in your blog.
4582360
Well, you and RS would still be adorable little critters, but I guess the rest of the SA crew would have nothing else.
4582301
I tried giving him a bag of peanuts, but he glared at me and grumbled something about "perpetuating the stereotype."
He did take them, though.
4582456
You've got plenty of good stories, but--whether idiosyncratic or not--this remains my favorite. And what was the point of joining SA, if not to promulgate my idiosyncracies?
4582713
I'm not complaining. It's just amusing that it had that crushing weight of inevitability to it.
All in the Presentation is the only one of these I've read. A nice, amusing little thing that made me giggle several times and cheered me up nicely. (I needed that because I was doing a Carrot Top fic binge and had just finished plumander's very good but considerably less fun Happy Ending.) I've had My Domestic Equestria on my RiL list for ages, and I'm sure I'll get round to it eventually. The other two are new to me, but both look intriguing.
I always love reading the reviews that come out on stories that I haven't seen, it's a great way to promote them.
And then there's me, just uploading chapters and update blogs, too shy to advertise for it.
But, meh, it's whatever
First, I need to read this fic. Second, I'm totally stealing this line and adapting it for my own use.
WELCOME PRINCESS CELESTIA
AND USE A NICE FONT