Story Idea (Equestria Girls: Gotta Be the Faux Hawk!)

PLOT: Principal Celestia, an immortal extra terrestrial from the planet Alicornia, ropes three detention students into becoming her defacto army against Tirek, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and the Guildy monsters of Tartarus. Naturally, with absolutely no training and reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy crazy stupid powers, they are absolute fail, leaving Orchard Blossom, Maud Pie, and Trixie Lulamoon stuck in rare form. At least the sirens are going to have some genuine competition in Rainbow Rocks.

Mac/ Orchard Blossom= Panty
Maud Pie= Stocking
Trixie= Julie / Ember from other flash cartoons refrences

and when I say stuck in rare form I mean trapped until seperated from the distorted elements of harmony
A/N: Warning this is a spoof fiction, and more importantly this is a crossover between Gonna' be the Twin Tail, Panty with Stocking and Garterbelt, featuring Equestria Girls...

Another Bad Idea Gotta' Be the Faux Hawk
Chapter 1
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Cue theme song...

Somewhere beyond the red and yellow, blue, and purple hills of the Everfree Forest. Nestled somewhere between the Appalachian Trail and Mount Katahdin _or roughly somewhere around Maine and Virginia_ (But, totally not New Jersey) in what's left of the unspoiled American frontier is Canterlot High School, home of the Wonder-Colts. Noted for being the number two school in the city of Angel Lust (a rather notorious sub division of Daton), CHS is second only to the Mud Slinging Manglers of Crystal Prep in the friendship games. And, on an academic level, Canterlot High is roughly on par with the salubrious skunks of NHS (becasue good garbage is easy to recognize). Considering no one cares what the letter 'N' in NHS stands for but knows what the 'C' in Canterlot represents, that's quite the accomplishment.

In fact, Canterlot High's current reputation was rivaled only by Principal Celestia herself. A reputation that was cultivated over many years as a civil servant. __This__ in spite of accusations by a rogue cabal of anti-republican sycophants in Donald Trump's birther organization (no doubt secret agents of the illuminati) who insisted she was an extra terrestrial from another planet bent on total global domination. Of course, that controversy went away when Celestia showed them a birth certificate from a hospital that was named after her, and signed by a doctor that turned out to be one of the three highest paid women in America (despite not being able to speak English quite right).

So, naturally, all further inquiries into the nature of her human status have to be handled by her public relations firm; and Celestia had to admit she was Quite fond of that Wilber fellow and his pony Mister Ed. Which, begs the question (and does nothing to explain) why Celestia wanted to be principal of a high school in some backwoods one horse town. A town that was just big enough for one public high school and a rival private academy. Given that no one actually cares, it doesn't really matter what she was doing there, but as a principal it was her responsibility to be present for detention (which for some unfathomable reason made total sense when she talked it over with Starlight Glimmer).

Obviously, the usual bullies need not apply. Celestia's school charter allowed for terrible, no good, and very bad students to practically get away with anything short of murder. In fact, she (Celestia that is) was pretty sure some of the students were escapees and homeless persons from the nearby living facility and minimum security prison. But, her detainees, a hand selected group of genuinely good spirits with the requisite guilt complex, perversions, and antisocial skills she deemed necessary to use as cannon fodder (should Tirek actually discover her hole away from home and attack planet Earth) would be her vanguard... army? Cell? Squad?. Whatever the team called itself, as dysfunctional as it would obviously be, needed to represent the remaining corrupted elements of harmony at her disposal. Those elements being honesty, kindness, and laughter with a dark bent. The element of Laughter had become Jealousy if not some conceited form of arrogance and contempt, Kindness had become the cruel mercy of a humorless joke, and Honesty-

"Where's Sunset Shimmer?" Principal Celestia asked. Maud Pie and Trixie Lulamoon looked at each other momentarily, confused if not conspiratorially, before shrugging. If Sunset wasn't there this could really gum up her plans should the portal to Tartarus open up. Celestia wasn't sure what the girl's problem was, but Sunset was the linchpin in her entire plan to defeat Tirek and the Guildy Monsters of Tartarus. There was probably some element of irony in the fact Sunset Shimmer was currently in a parallel dimension stealing the element of magic from Twilight Sparkle in order to take over the world, a world wherein she could have easily become the element of Honesty's corrupted bearer... in fact, had the portal to Tartarus opened just a day earlier and had Tirek listened to the advice of Chrysalis (arguably the worst strategist of the guildy empire) Sunset would have probably gotten a stupid power by now. A very stupid power like psychometric empathy, which pales in comparison to magic or something like telepathy, but it would have been enough to keep her from running off to steal the element of magic for at least ONE season.

The door to study hall, which was being used as a detention area was then kicked open.

"I didn't do Nuthin' I SWEAR." Macintosh Apple whined as Cheerilee dragged him into the room by his ear. The age gap between student and teacher wasn't that noticeable considering Macintosh was a senior and Cheerilee was currently an assistant teacher working with a crop of freshmen, or whatever they called the seventh grade peons and eight grade plebeians at the six year school.

"I caught this beanstalk masturbating in the faculty bathroom." Cheerilee was livid and was about ready to tear Macintosh's ear off. The ruckus had diverted the attention of both Maud Pie, and Trixie the later of which stopped carving arameic runes in her desk with safety scissors while the former looked over her copy of 'Truth in Comedy: Fridge Humor and Icebox Zinngers' by Raven Lunatic.

"Ah was not master-baiting!" This was true, he had a perfectly innocent reason for being in the faculty restroom... Granted, it probably didn't help that he was using a pair of Apple Bloom's underoos to clean up the graffiti offering his services for a good time, but it definitely wasn't his fault. How a pair of his sisters underpants wound up in his backpack was much less mysterious, but probably not as hilarious-

"Oh Right, like I'm supposed to believe you." Cheerilee then turned to Principal Celestia "when I caught him he was huffing on some girl's panties." Again not entirely his fault... once Mac realized the rag he was using was a pair of his sister's underwear his mind shut down as he tried to figure out how it got there and what the image printed on the ruined cloth was supposed to be... It kind of looked like Gir from Invader Zim.

"I think I've heard enough Ms. Cheerilee. I can take things over from here." Celestia's motives had more to do with exigency than any actual sense of justice. The portal to Tartarus would be open soon. An explanation of how Celestia knew Tirek's vanguard would be coming to take this world was a mystery, but she knew something was definitely off, And then, quite literally at a moment's notice, all hell would break loose as the happy folk of this city continued to play out their lives ignorant of the excessive violence that would reign over the world from within the shadows.

An apocalypse was coming and Celestia's magic had not only weakened, but had been corrupted by the elements of 'disturbed' harmony. Affected to the point where she was three whiskers away from loosing all self control, stripping sown to her skivvies, and dressing in knee-socks; Celestia had taken to using heavy eyeliner, painting herself in Goth makeup, and calling herself Burning Skies on the weekends often wondering why she hadn't declared herself Queen of this planet months ago. There was little time to find a new bearer for the corrupted element of honesty. Her facade was starting to break, and it was only a matter of time before Celestia lost all self control, aiding her in becoming a being (if not creature) more treacherous than Discord and twice as cunning. And, the last thing she needed was for that bastard to crawl out of the woodwork and be another thorn in her side.

After grabbing Macintosh by the sleeve of his button down flannel shirt, and escorting the bewildered young lumberjack in blue jeans to a desk unoccupied, Celestia dismissed Ms. Cheerilee, who (I might add) was more than satisfied to relinquished her vice like grip on the boy's ear the minute Celestia took custody of his button down shirt. Celestia sighed as she sat down at her own desk shortly after relieving her burden, and pulled out a shot glass and a bottle of crown royal out of the drawer... she had more than a few medicinal herbs in there as well, but felt it would be improper to light up a blunt in front of such impressionable youngsters until after she'd tricked them into taking up the elements of harmony;it was only fair. It really was a shame Sunset Shimmer wasn't present, Celestia really liked her. Sunset reminded the self medicating principal of a bunny rabbit... or at least the one she found in Fluttershy's locker a few weeks back.

Fluttershy was a bit of a mystery herself. Most students don't spontaneously transform from being irritably aggressive faux vampires, drinking tiger blood frazzles no less, into taciturn vegetarians taking orders from bunny rabbits. Other students had started behaving strangely as well, Pinkie pie had gone from being sardonic and somber to down right chipper, and Rarity had gone from being interested in rocks to high fashion, the less said about the week she spent trying to fit the mice in the science lab with miniatures of the costumes she made for the school's production of 'Once Upon a Mattress' the better. Although, It's a good thing they all started talking over their problems with Starlight Glimmer otherwise Celestia might be worried about her student's individual mental health issues.

Celestia took a moment to evaluate her new arrival, she could feel it in his aura. FEAR, false expectations appearing real, the opposite of genuine observation if not a dishonest appraisal of some self fulfilling prophesy. Macintosh Apple had the look of a small rodent that was about to be devoured by an owl (maybe even a weasel), it was the same look Celestia took pleasure in whenever she was toying with Sunset Shimmer. Corrupted as the elements of harmony were by dark magics (or that weaselly Harry Potter song), on some level she knew fear itself was the corrupted version of honesty, if not a pale shadow of the things man was not meant to know.

More importantly, other than Celestia herself, Sunset had ambivalent feelings toward genuine power. What Sunset Shimmer lacked in genuine confidence she more than made up for with the gravitas or bravado that came from a life in service to survival. Celestia believed her student both wanted some source of genuine power, and was afraid of what she'd do once she actually attained it. Which, was what Celestia needed from her and made her the perfect candidate for what would inevitably shatter this reality like the carapace of an insect that lacked the foresight to avoid the windshield of a car. Mac on the other hand was quiet, and there was nothing better than an underling that didn't complain. But, what did he fear? And, more importantly, what part of his internal drives, motives, and desires had he buried or isolated in order to create a life that made sense to him.

Unfortunately for Celestia (and Mac as well), Sunset Shimmer had wandered off to parts unknown, no doubt to rig the festivities of "the dance" or whatever macabre festivities hedonistic youth engaged in. It wasn't really Celestia's responsibility to keep track of these things, event planning, much less involving herself in the lives of her students had become secondary to protecting the people of Earth from the strange folk who would soon arrive in camouflage to steal what was left of this world's unimaginable sincerity and beauty. That role, in particular, was relegated to Starlight Glimmer her Student Councelor...

Celestia wasn't entirely sure why the administrative staff of her high school was so backwards, but Starlight was a godsend. Celestia also wasn't entirely sure what it was about Starlight that she liked so much. But, she had to admit how the young student counselor had risen in the ranks so quickly without anyone loosing their jobs was a miracle. Even more miraculously Starlight had the other teachers working in harmony like a swiss timepiece. In fact, it almost seemed like everyone Starlight interviewed; parents, teachers, students alike; were just so much more... happy, in a creepy sort of way, just to be in her presence (Starlight's that is). Celestia was impressed, especially with that verbal tick of hers, the poor dear kept asking "How are you doing this?" anytime Celestia showed more initiative than the young therapist in a given conversation. Granted, Celestia was a bit of a narcissist, but why would anyone do anything someone else asked if it caused personal loss, physical or verbal assault, I mean that's just common sense.

Of course, since Starlight Glimmer was covert agent for the Guildy empire laying in wait to get all the eggs in one basket it was kind of obvious Celestia had failed the battle. But, she hadn't lost the war. Becasue Chrysalis, being one of the worst strategists in the Guildy empire, could wait no longer. And, while it is true nobody expects the spanish inquisition, you can't do much of anything to fix stupid. As such, Starlight was now rushing to study hall to stifle (if not stunt or stem) the damage before Celestia handed the elements of harmony over to their equally corrupted bearers.

Elsewhere Starlight Glimmer was in a panic.

While it's true Maud was a plant, and Trixie was the most impressionable of the three potential element bearers, Starlight Glimmer didn't exactly think convincing Maud that rocks had souls and that they liked potato chips left enough of an impression on the girl's mind to make her manageable material.

Trixie Lulamoon on the other hand was much easier to manipulate. The girl was already leading a double life as a rock star named Julie 'Ember' McLain the Wiki Wacky Woo Woo... or at least that's how her producers decided to market the code monkey speaking keytarist. Honestly, Starlight Glimmer didn't know there was such an instrument as a Keytar and dismissed the stupid thing out of hand as a marketing gimmick to get kids interested in accordions or zithers. Trixie's Schizophrenia, and desire to imprint on others like a baby duck if they told her how magnificent she was, made her really easy to confuse and trap into double binds that made working a geas less troublesome than it would be under normal conditions.

Sunset Shimmer was a bit of a wild card so far as Starlight was concerned. Starlight had grown suspicious when Celestia had resisted several of her early mental manipulations. But, to learn Celestia had brainwashed that poor girl into thinking she was a unicorn princess from a parallel dimension (and headmaster of an academy of magic no less) was absolutely the most brilliant demonstration of a gifted and devious mind. Clearly Celestia had been toying with her all along. If only Starlight herself could sleuth out the secret to making someone think they were a talking pony from ponyland, she could have taken over the guildy empire from Tirek years ago.

Knowing that Sunset was Celestia's personal catspaw made her off limits as far as mind fizzy-deed-duckery was concerned, but it certainly made the waiting game that much more of a challenge. And then Chrysalis had to grow impatient enough to screw up the well laid plans of mice and men in one fell swoop by attacking the mall in the next town over.

"FLUFF! How could she be so stupid?" Starlight was definitely peeved. if only she was wearing her stilettos' instead of these floppy stripper shoes she could have burst into the study hall and made her villainous monologue by now. Worse, she wound up tripping over that fathead Cheerilee on her way over there. The assistant teacher was so high on her own gas fumes she was walking through the halls with her eyes closed and her nose stuck so high in the air she wasn't looking where she was going. This of course lead to questions about why Starlight was dressed in nearly full body armor which would have made total sense if she had on her knee high armored Stiletto's instead of the capri leggings and stripper shoes... not to mention her tuning fork beehive helmet which looked super cute with the Jacob's ladder effect.

"OH GOD I NEED MY HELMET!!!" Starlight Screamed when she realized the most awesome and intimidating part of her super villain costume was missing. Starlight started scrambling back onto her feet after having fallen victim to the marshmallow hell that was Cheerilee's mammary glands when she lost her footing trying to avoid the assistant teacher, just as the drag from her poorly conceived aerodynamic cape caused her to slip when one of the straps of her striper shoes broke. She had s shorter cape, but it had been stolen by someone with sticky fingers.

"HEY!" Cheerilee whined. The awkward positioning of the two meant someone's milk glands were getting felt up. Naturally, Cheerilee grabbed onto the cape in an attempt to capture the fiend that would interrupt her haughty moment of victory and mash her boobies for a cheap thrill, just before Starlight got to her feet. And, after Starlight fell flat on her face, the armored vanguard of the Guildy empire used her amazing parkour skills. Dispatching the assistant teacher, with about a dozen knock out kicks to Cheerilee's fat head, before doing three pointless backflips. Then, engaging in a ballet twist that would make ice skater's jealous, Starlight followed these actions with unnecessary black swan routine ending followed with a bow of some sort that left the villainous student councilor's arms akimbo. The less said about the condition of the assistant teacher in a smart outfit that was now ruined the better.

"Horse Apples!" Starlight immediately started running back to the councilor's office in what was left of her stripper shoes, flops really, to get her helmet. She needed her helmet because without it the body armor was so unbalanced she'd keep falling over her- oh wait she wasn't wearing stiletto's so she didn't have to... No, on second thought she needed the Stilettos otherwise she couldn't kick like a mule. Becasue wasting all that energy to knock out Cheerilee had taught her the value of heavy foot gear that could knock someone's teeth out with a boot to the head. Plus, she needed her scepter of sameness to use as a cudgel should her fight with Celestia come to blows.

Meanwhile, back at study hall...

"Awe Jeez-"Big Mac Sighed as he crossed his arms on the desktop and tried to figure out how to explain what happened to Granny Smith without letting Applejack get her two cents in as well. He bowed his head in defeat as he now realized he had the additional burden of explaining how a pair of Apple Bloom's underpants wound up being used as a makeshift rag in the faculty bathroom.

"You okay?" Celestia asked. Mac Bolted upright and snapped to attention, the school principal was talking to him like he was the only other person in the room.

"Yeah! I'm p-perfectly fine." Mac nervously replied glancing at the other girls in the room, briefly wondering- wondering if he was a fox in the hen house or a lowly worm. Trixie's attitude was easy to recognize as adversarial considering she gave him the evil eye followed by a one fingered salute. Maud had her head cocked to one side, she wasn't shooting daggers, she had a stony cat like expression on her face and it was difficult to tell what she was thinking.

"But, your face is bright red." Captain Obvious, having mutated into human form, said as she took a swig of crown royal directly from the bottle.

"And you're a two fisted drinker." Mac's eyes widened when he realized he'd said that out loud. Oh God, he could only hope for out of school suspension now.

"hmph. Idiot."Celestia snorted before-

"Okay, what's the deal?" Trixie asked.

"What do you mean?" Celestia responded.

"Trixie doesn't believe that talking to her keyboard guitar during lunch is any of your business. What Trixie tells her 'Amulette is privileged information and none of your beeswax." Trixie stated.

"It becomes my beeswax when you say stupid things." Celestia mocked.

"What stupid things did Trixie say?" the synth-player asked.

"Let's see..." Celestia started using a tone of voice usually reserved for mimicking her little sister. "Octavia and Vinyl doth think think they're soooooo great, revenge will be mine- Ha ha ha!" Celestia then corrected herself but continued to use the squaller pitch "Oh! Trixie is sorry Amulette, revenge will be ours. Tee-hee he he."

"HMPH!" Trixie Sulked, she knew when she was being insulted. But, unlike Big Macintosh she knew how to filter her thoughts well enough to keep her mouth shut.

Somewhere near the library a now out of breath Starlight Glimmer, in full evil regalia _ short one cape used to disable Cheerilee, while featuring stiletto heels and a ridiculously oversized helmet, and looking like a bauble headed insect_ the vanguard of the Guildy empire ran down the hall towards study hall spouting off exposition. "Huff Puff, I hope Celestia hasn't found out about Chrysalis yet. The last thing we need is four super-zero's interfering with the collection of this world's magic." Stopping momentarily to admire herself in full costume in the trophy case while using her pinky to clear out the spinach in her teeth. "There, that's better. Now I'm truely evil. Wah ha ha ha!"

Back in the detention center of Canterlot High, Celestia's henshin pen, the one next to her portable 3d printer, between her xacto knife and screwdriver, started beeping like a metal detector or Geiger counter in her white lab coat's pocket protector. "Oh Snap, I was hoping we'd have more time." After taking a second to inspect the pen, Celestia turned away from Trixie walked towards Macintosh. "Excuse me, would you mind doing something for me?" Celestia sat seductively on his desk, showing off no shortage of her thighs as she lifted her pleated pink and black skirt in such a way Mac could almost see the seam on the left side of her panties. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his heart was racing as she plopped her rump on the desk he was using for detention.

"uh?" Mac was very confused. looking up gave him an ample view of her cleavage- face, he needed to look at her face.

"Have you ever thought about being a female impersonator?" Celestia asked.

Maud actually turned her head out of curiosity and Trixie stopped playing with her safety scissors, if only to observe the look of shock on Mac's face when it went ghostly white or red as a tomato.

"HEy! Trixie was still talking to you." Trixie growled as she got up from her desk to assault if not grab at her principal's lab coat. Her mouth may have had a filter, but Trixie's somatic control was still lacking when it came to self discipline. Which, is why the zap from Celestia's forcefield was a real surprise to the now floored synth guitarist. "Wha?"

Celestia gave Trixie a half lidded stare "There's no use trying to attack me, so don't waste your time upchuck." Celestia then returned her attention to Mac "Now, mister female impersonator-"

"But I'm not-" Macintosh started before Maud interrupted him.

"Is this some kind of Joke?" Maud wasn't exactly sure if she should be laughing or concerned at the moment, as a master in the art of the humorless joke (despite her amateur status) she was often the foil for Pinkie Pie's antics and needed to know if she should be woefully stone faced, understated with a stiff upper lip, filled with cipher rage, or just using fridge humor as par for the course.

Celestia was exasperated, stood up patted the dust off her skirt and picked a single white thread off of her noire blouse. "Perhaps I should reintroduce myself. My name is Burning Skies- uh, I mean Dastardly Magical Princess- shoot! Call me Daybreaker. I'm a superhero and we haven't much time."

"Burning Skies?" Maud asked quizzically.

"A super hero. Really?" Trixie asked skeptically, the name was less believable than Hannah Montana or Chris Gaines. Then again no celebrity could have a perfect cover like hers. Sure, Daybreaker was a half decent villain name but still.

"I've never heard ah no 'dastardly' superhero." Macintosh was thinking along the same lines as Trixie. Although, Principal Celestia's superhero name sounded marginally less evil than _Ember_ McLain's stage name. The name of Julie's alter ego was at least forthright and honorable about being "Tricksy."

"Cool handle." Maud stated flatly. That was a joke right, Burning Skies; Cool handle. It wasn't exactly irony but some sort of unexpected contrast to the last thing she said.

"Dastardly Princess Daybreaker?" then a smirk creeped across Trixie's lips "Alright DeeDee. That's enough! You weirdo."

"Let me ask you all a question. Do you like monsters?" The Principal asked

The answer was obviously a resounding 'No' from all parties in the room.

"Do you like pancakes?"

"Yeah we like pancakes-" Macintosh was of course referring to his siblings, friends and relations. He hadn't really meant to speak for the other detention students. But, lacking the honesty filter on his quips would have left him with a two word vocabulary. "I mean uh-"

"I like rock candy." Maud said flatly.

Trixie didn't say anything, she just had an angry look on her face.

"Well?" Celestia asked.

"I'm thinking!" Trixie burbled.

"That's okay, there's no reason to be afraid poopy head. It's not a qeusadilla." Burn! Maud thought, becasue she totally called Trixie a poopy head. Her future as an insult comic that could rival Cheese Sandwich was assured. The long hours of trading insults with her pet rock, Boulder, were finally paying off. Granted, Boulder didn't have more than a 200 word vocabulary but his vocabulary was still marginally more robust than her sister Marble's.

"I'm not afraid of pancakes!" Which was true, Trixie reasoned a pancake was only about as evil and vile as a crepe or quesadilla.

"Then take these! Hurry! there isn't much time." Celestia's... or rather 'Princess DeeDee' left eye started twitching in a psychotic spasm as she tried to unload three nearly identical looking bangles on her detention students. One was red, one was blue, and the other was green, and all three bangles had gemstones embedded in the center opposite the clasp on the bottom. "I promise you there's nothing shady about them at all."

"Wait a second!" Trixie inspected her bangle. "Why do I get the green one? Trixie thinks the Apple should get the green one, and the boor should have the red one- Trixie thinks your color choices makes you the definition of shady." Not to mention the bracelets where inscribed in some kind of Aramaic, and the bangle she had been handed said said something along the lines of 'pick-a-ninny,' she couldn't make out what was written on the blue one just yet, but the red one said something along the lines of 'zip-coon.' She didn't know what a 'zip coon' was, but it sounded better than being a ninny.

In all fairness, Trixie reasoned, the blue bangle matched her cape... or rather the cape she borrowed from her student councilor and forgot to return... it was cold living in that van down by the river, but at least she'd escaped the living facility they'd put her in after her last delusional episode. Besides, it wasn't like Miss Glimmer was using the cape for anything important. Trixie was lucky to have found the van at all (among the reeds) seeing as it appeared to have been abandoned after a hit and run accident.

"I'm sorry. But, I don't have time to explain right now. Trust-" Celestia was genuinely in a panic. Trixie slammed the green bangle on a nearby desk and snatched the blue bangle away from Maude Pie as she slipped four of her fingers through the blue bangle and rounded her self on Principal Celestia.

"And, why did you ask the Apple if he likes cross dressers?" Trixie asked this just as Macintosh seemed to come to an odd realization... his cheeks burned bright red and it took him only a moment to look at the bangle on his wrist before trying in vain to remove said bracelet from his person. He'd seen enough episodes of Power Rangers to know where this was going. He managed to unsnap the buckle or clasp, or whatever it was, that resized the manacle, but was unable to get it large enough to get it past his thumb. Meanwhile Maude picked up the green bangle to have a closer look at the thing becasue Trixie had taken hers away.

"Please, none of this is important right now. You have to put them on." Celestia pleaded with the synth operator. There was bound to be another magical surge from the corrupted elements of harmony at a moments notice and Trixie was about to ruin everything becasue she was being suspicious.

"NO! At this point you are not convincing Trixie you aren't the very definition of shady." at this point Trixie had the blue bangle wrapped around the palm of her right hand like a tambourine while she used both hands to help Mac slip out of the red cuff when it happened. As expected a magical surge, owing to the fact an armored member of the Guildy Army was within divination range, and Celestia had no choice but to activate the elements or loose the magic and their new bearers to the perverted whims of the Guildy monsters of Tartarus.

"I'm sorry, This will probably hurt a little bit. But, in the end. I know that you'll be able to make it through." Celestia sighed, it was too late for her to find new bearers. The damage has already been done, if they weren't capable of being corrupted by the elements beforehand they most definitely were corrupted now. "I promise I'll explain everything later. For now, it's important that you three come with me." Pushing a button on her Henshin pen Principal Celest- no Dastardly Princess Daybreaker, and her new minstrels of mayhem, were engulfed by the corrupted magic of harmony and vanished.

Just then the door burst open as an out of breath Starlight Glimmer (gasping for air, clearing her throat and coughing up phlegm while choking on her own vomit) laughed maniacally. "MWHA! hoo hoo HA!"

Starlight immediately posed like Peter Pan, with her fists on her belt with her elbows splayed out. The biggest, if not most pained spit eating grin you ever saw was plastered on her face. She gloated with a pained expression on her face and her scepter of sameness peace-bonded to her belt.

"You little turds are going face your greatest foe ever- Oh C'mon!" She whined as she dropped her sick smile when she realized no one else was in the detention room. Thankfully, her cover wasn't completely blown. At least it wouldn't be once she and Cheerilee had their counseling session. "

Elsewhere, as a result of Trixie getting a larger dose of harmony and Macintosh getting a boost in 'something' else (most likely estrogen or an epic genetic rewrite because he was with her), what appeared to be three teenage girls and an immortal soccer mom magically appeared on a mezzanine with picnic tables over looking an outlet mall. The two blondes, while not exactly joined at the hip, had become nearly unrecognizable forms. The Faux-hawk twins, or whatever the new entities that were once Trixie and Macintosh could be classified as, looked at each other in shock then turned around in search of a familiar face.

Trixie was the first to spot someone that looked kind of like Principal Celestia, but lacked initiative and for once and Mac recognized Maud's not so vacant expression... along with the streaks of red hair, striped stockings, Mary Janes, and matching body armor assuming a sailor suit was the new normal for magical girls.

"Maud Pie!?" Mac's voice cracked. Contrary to it's typical masculine tone, his voice was now something along the lines of Dilton Doily or Susan Mandark imitating Rainbow Dash. He was confused, something about maud seemed....off. Abrasive even, and it was unsettling.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?" The face was Maud's but the tone was tinged with desire or envy, possibly both. The girl who wore Maude's appearance if not body as a mask, albiet more goth and less vamp-pyrrhic approached Mac to give him a once over... or drink his blood. Which, naturally, lead to one of the oldest of slapstick's pratfalls. Mac immediately misplaced his footing, stepped on a blackened banana peel some inconsiderate boob couldn't walk three feet to the trash receptacle, lost all balance, and fell flat on his newly crinoline padded ass.

The now smaller Macintosh couldn't help but notice the difference in size. From his perspective, this girl was way bigger than Maude, and probably the largest girl he'd seen since he and Gilda got into a fight in the lunch room back at school. In fact, she kind of reminded him of... wait, why was he wearing a hot pink crinoline, candy apple short skirt, and vermillion knee high boots with a green tube top? The less said about the black gloves, matching scarf, or the apple themed belt buckle, gorget, shoulder pads, and tiara the better.

"Trixie disagrees, we can't all enjoy a life of never ending pain and misery." Mac turned his head to get a good look at 'not quite' Trixie's panties- and had an aneurysm of shear stupidity when he realized he wasn't looking at a camel's toe. Naturally, this was an unintended consequence of Trixie's micro mini short skirt being at eye level. Her outfit was nearly identical to his save the moon themed blue and silver. A wizard's cap was in place of a tiara and the way her scarf was tied about her neck was slightly different. In his case the scarf was bandito-cowboy style, whereas hers screamed landlord.

"Ladies, and I mean that figuratively, this isn't the time for fighting or biting."Principal Celestia was pretty much wearing the same costume she had been wearing in class, the only difference was the unicorn themed biker helmet.