Rewrote Chapter 7

So, as many pointed out in the comments, Rarity was acting a bit like a...umm...overwhelming bitch in the chapter 7 of my story. I think I was trying too hard to get the scene to be...something...I dunno, silly? Shocking? Regardless, I did that at the expense of Rarity's character. So I rewrote it a bit, and hopefully, it's better now. In my opinion it is, but I also thought the same of the first chapter (at 1 am after writing the entire thing ).

Comments

[Scarheart]

I thought the chapter was fine.

I would not be surprised if Rarity acted like that in the show. It's in her character to be melodramatic.

[bonberjean]

4409007 Melodramatic and drama-queen, yes
but cloth rapist is a bit too much

[Rainbow Kirby]

So you rewrote it just to make Rarity OOC?

[TrixterCat]

4409104 Depends on how you look at things I suppose.

[Minalkra]

Strangely enough, I was going to ask when Bear Grills there was going to deck the insistent bitch ... but let's see how this ends up.

And it all ands up much the same.

Soooo ... when is Bear Grills going to deck the insistent bitch? No means no and all that jazz. By the way, holey socks and torn t-shirts are considered bad? I figured that was fairly normal. Along with jeans missing belt loops, holes in the cuff and jackets well worn with age. Am I missing some aspect of society or something?

[TrixterCat]

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