Why God Hates Human Applejack (Or "How to Humanize the Ponies") · 8:31pm Oct 27th, 2016
This blog was commissioned by Multiversecruise.
Nowadays everybody wants to fuck Sunset Shimmer until their naughty parts become clean again, so it’s somehow redeemed, but when it first came out EQG was something like Pony Satan. It was a bad movie that, judging by our reaction, was going to burn our crops and murder our children. It ruined the cartoon horses. Everything was doomed.
Then the movie came out.
And we calmed down.
So yeah. EQG hate? That’s old news. Nobody really cares. We have better things to do. Only the pettiest of motherfuckers will complain about it in this day and age.
Enter me.
The thesis of this blog can be summarized in one single sentence, and I’m gonna say it right here and right now, without any context, because it works as clickbait and I crave your attention like your mother craves my oily thighs:
EQG Applejack probably thinks God hates her.
An explanation of this under the break.
Now, I want to establish as soon as possible that never mind my wording, I don’t feel hate towards EQG. I even liked the first movie, which is objectively the worst one, because it had Pinkie Pie in it, and I like pink shit. I also have very low standards.
But even if I can proudly declare myself a fan of the movies, I’m the first one to see their many, many, many mistakes. Bad romance, stupid plot, horrible pacing – you’ve heard them all. But by far the most common complaint was…
…Was the shitty romance. Yeah, no way to deny this. Even I’ve bitched about it before. But the second most common complaint was—
—Okay, it was the art. Everybody hated the art at first. Even Lauren Faust thought it was horrible.
While I dug this Pinkie Pie from the start, I’ll also admit this particular drawing of Twilight is the most punchable thing I’ve seen in my life.
Okay, so what was the third most common complaint?
The setting. It was the setting.
Because, honestly, what the hell was up with the setting? The high school gizmo was… weird. Predictable, if you looked at trends like Monster High, but still weird. It had a lot of inconsistences related to character ages [1], character interaction, the way magic works, the way the multiverse works... It was a mess.
[1] Wait, wasn’t Celestia immortal? Cheerilee is a teacher, and Big Mac is a student, so what’s the age difference? Twilight became Celestia’s student as a little kid, but by then Sunset Shimmer was already in the human lands, and they’re the same age, so how old was Sunset when she—okay no, not falling down this rabbit hole again.
But most importantly? Everybody’s a human now. But they’re humans in a wrong way, damn it.
Everybody likes humanizations. The entire fandom has been toying with the idea of the M6 being people since Season Goddamn One, because it opens a new plethora of possibilities and also you can draw them with big titties.
Just think about it. Pinkie Pie with access to the internet! Twilight as an actual witch, with wands and pointy hats! Fluttershy with, like, huge boobs! The only limit is our imagination!
I would have sex with every single thing portrayed in this picture.
And then, well. EQG happened.
I’m sorry, I can’t look at EQG to get my cool humanization fix. There are many reasons? But mostly: if I wanna watch something I love being desecrated I just ask my mother to fuck a catfish.
And why is this? Because Human God hates Applejack. Bam. Back to the thesis, baby.
Okay, I’m not being fair. Human God also hates Rarity and Pinkie Pie. But, you know, Applejack is probably getting the short stick. Why, you ask? It’s easy to explain. Look at this shitty .jpg from the first movie:
Now, what is the thing that rubs you wrong about this picture? Might be many things. Might be nothing. But to me, it’s clear where the problem lays:
Why do Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash have wings?
This is my major beef with EQG, believe it or not. This is the reason why I still frown whenever the human girls pony up. This is why I cry myself to sleep every night. Because some of the ponies have wings, and some don’t.
This is, quite honestly, the major downfall of most humanizations that verge on the fantasy genre. MLP:FiM (and, if I remember correctly, every single MLP generation since its creation) has dealt with three major races in its setting: unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies. There are also zebras, and horses, and dragons, and weird shit like batponies and changelings? But the three big players are always pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies.
See, the actual theme of this blog was supposed to be like a tutorial on how to humanize Equestria in a High Fantasy setting. As in, monsters, magic, and the like, but now there are no equines. That's what the commission was all about.
Now, this is easy to do for the unicorns and pegasi – you just give them magic and wings, and call it a day. But what about the earth ponies? What the hell do you do with them?
This entire blog could be just a neverending thread of ideas to humanize the earth ponies without turning them into the Muggle Race. Y’know, just, vanilla humans, the most boring of solutions. A lot of people is against doing that, ‘cause it brings a lack of balance to the world, and it’s precisely that balance among the three races that makes Equestria such an interesting setting…
…Or, wait. Is that balance even there?
See, I think It’s better to analyze the root of the problem – why EQG annoys me while the show itself doesn’t. Because when you get to it, earth ponies are really the unluckiest bastards of Equestria. They’ve got nothing going on for them. And yet, a lot of people don’t seem to care. It isn’t because they’re ponies, because equines are sort of the standard – but the same happens with mules and donkeys and shit.
Thing is, some races have advantages over others. You can’t really argue that being a unicorn is better than being an earth pony, because you straight out have magic and not a single setback. Some people try to justify this, saying that earth ponies are stronger? But that’s headcanon.
And yet, the show doesn’t give a fuck.
That’s how we find the first rule of this blog:
#1 – IF THERE’S A LACK OF BALANCE IN THE RACES, JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
One way to make a world feel more ‘fair’ is to give every race some kind of advantage, or at least the lack of a disadvantage (lookin’ at you, humans from D&D) so they’re more balanced. But sometimes, the creators just don’t bother.
And that’s good!
See, I mentioned headcanons earlier, and this might be personal – but I only really think of this unbalance of the three races when a fanfic author tries to fix it. When they say that oh, no, earth ponies are stronger. Or they have special magic. Or they have a special connection with nature. Or whatever.
What happens here is that what earlier wasn’t an issue is now something important, something that deserves our attention. The show, quite kindly, doesn’t give half a rat’s ass about the balance between the three races. It’s there to sell toys.
I KNOW. IT’S REALLY HARD TO TELL, SOMETIMES.
And that’s what makes it work! As none of the characters – or the nonexistent show’s narration – really acts as if this was an issue, the audience assumes the same. Maybe there’s some balance there if you look hard enough, or maybe it’s just that the world is not perfect, no matter if this is a fantasy or whatever. These characters have been living in these conditions for their entire life, so for them, this lack of symmetry is normal. They just don’t think about it. So we do the same.
This is why EQG doesn’t work – because attention is brought to the fact that the characters are ponying up. Everybody acts as if it was a miracle (because it sorta is), and so the differences between the ponied up girls and the normal humans are exacerbated.
…And then we look at Dash. Then we look at Applejack. And we go “um.”
Then we look at Sunset, and we go “meow”.
Now, to be fair, the characters don’t call attention to the fact that some of them have wings. This is the reason why some people weren’t bothered by this fact before. But the story did bring attention to the fact that now the girls are pony’d up, they’re not normal humans, they have powers. It’s important, and we’re supposed to actually think about it.
This is something new, something for the characters to explore, and – okay why the fuck is Dash the one with wings? She plays football! Football has nothing to do with flying!
See, what happens here is that they humanized the ponies in one way that brought balance to the world (y’all muggles, deal with it), and then they humanized them again, only in a slightly different way.
This is what creates this weird contrast. This is what makes me irk when I see the pony’d up versions. Which brings us to the second rule, I guess.
#2 – STICK TO YOUR INITIAL DECISION. DON’T SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AND GIVE THEM POWERS.
Because otherwise, God hates human Applejack. The powers are a new thing, so the organic feel of the previous rule sorta goes down the drain. Either you call attention to the powers or you don’t, but if you do, for fuck’s sake don’t do it like this.
You can see the sadness in her eyes.
How do you do it, then?
Well, ain’t that the million dollar question.
See, the thing about reaching ‘balance’ in this kind of setting – three humanoid races, each one with special abilities and a particular culture – is that no matter what you do, unless you’re REALLY GOOD AT THIS and also KIND OF A HUGE NERD some races are going to be overpowered to a certain degree. Balancing powers has never been easy! Think of any MMORPG ever created.
Yeah, right?
That’s just how it is. Because no matter how hard you think about it, it’s pretty easy to come up with a loophole. Especially if one race, like the unicorns here, has access to something as ethereal and nondescribable as magic. Give it rules if you want, but there’ll be some unbalance – even if it’s just in the sense of ‘coolness’ that it’s going to give to the readers.
So here, my advice – born out of efficiency rather than out of actual literate thought – is to forget about making the three races equally fair to a perfect degree, and more about making them feel fair.
In fact, and here’s the point where I think a bunch of readers will disagree, and that’s fine because if someone has to shoot me off this high horse it might as well be you guys, this is what I think is the most important thing to remember when creating a fantasy world. It’s not about how the world works, or if it’s balanced, or if it makes sense.
It’s about the feeling, man.
#3 – FIND THE FEELING YOU’RE GOING FOR, AND THEN GO FOR IT.
Designing a setting – and don’t be mistaken, that’s what we’re doing here, even if the setting is somehow derivative because it comes from another work – is, in the end, the same as designing a character. You’re just doing it at a greater scale.
Now, there are ways to design a character. If you’re a more technical-minded individual, I heartily recommend ScarletWeather and Chuckfinely’s treatises on character creation, because those two are fucking monsters when it comes to this. My personal method is more similar to chuck’s, if you’re wondering, but that’s not what matters here. What matters is that I add an extra step, which I believe is absolutely necessary, and that’s coming up with the ‘feel’ you want your character/world to give.
See, this is easier to explain if you remember that I am, fundamentally, a stupid person. I need to think in simple, abstract terms, because complicated stuffs like shapes or numbers confuse me and scare me in equal measure. I have the mindset of a neutered sheep. So I go fucking yoga on this.
Don’t think specifics. Never start with specifics, unless there’s a particular thing you really wanna have. Then, start with the specifics, I guess? But remember that’s secondary. Instead, think of what kind of impression the reader needs to get from the character. Is it annoying? Angry? Funny? Corageous? A misanthrope? A funny misanthrope? An obnoxious misanthrope?
All of the above?
Get that idea, and then try to develop it with one example. Sometimes a particular line or idea comes to you; sometimes you have to force it. When I don’t really know what to do with a character I ask myself a simple question:
This character is walking down the street, and a random little girl asks them for help – her kitty is trapped on top of a tree. What does the character do? [2]
[2] You’d be surprised at just how often the answer I come up with is slightly different variations on “they fuck the cat”.
Don’t go for the obvious. Exaggerate. Always exaggerate, because if you don’t go to extremes, you won’t get the feeling you’re looking for. If the character is a good person, then they should help the kitty, then buy the kid some ice cream, then marry the tree. If the character is an asshole, they punch the kid and fuck the cat [3]. If the character is an obnoxious asshole, they punch the kid and fuck the cat while making self-referential quips.
[3] God dammit. See? I told you.
Now, this is what you do when you’re designing a character. Does it work if you’re designing a world?
Well, no need to change much stuff. A kid sees her kitty climb a tree, and then the furry fucker can’t go down. What happens next?
In a highly futuristic utopia, the kitty was never trapped on the tree, because trees are bioengineered to change shape into ladders whenever shit like this happens. In a dystopian future, the kitty never got to the tree because some dieselpunk weirdos shot them dead before they even left the house.
In a high fantasy world, the tree has arms and a face and helps the kitty down itself. In a dark fantasy world, the tree eats both the kid and the cat.
It’s all about that. The specifics will be needed later, but first you gotta think of what exactly do you want the readers to feel when they see the world for the first time. Once you’ve got that, then you start working on everything else, and you always have that goal in mind. You want to emulate that feeling, so every single part of the world builds towards it.
Okay holy shit. That was a fine goddamn divergence we just got through. How the blasting fuck does this bumbuggery relate to how to make God stop hating Applejack, you ask?
Easy-peasy, man.
See, the thing about EQG is that they were going for a really Slice-of-life feeling. Very teenager, very high-school, and it was completely different from what we’ve been seeing in the show so far.
And then, suddenly, the last bit turns into heavy urban fantasy. You couldn’t be more fucking jarring if your cowboy-themed movie turned into a BDSM musical in the last fifteen minutes. And while Ride the Saddle: Leather Cowboys is a masterpiece of modern art, God is the “pony up” thing weird at first.
Because the movie changed gears midway through, and then we ended up with that fucking weird-ass juxtaposition that somehow gave some of them wings, and some of them ended up with the short stick. EQG was such a mess that it’s easier to point at it and say “don’t do that” than to actually make a point from nowhere.
So, moving on now. Here, we want to do a high-fantasy setting, for example – and we want the thing to feel balanced. Remember: now we don’t really care about the world being balanced, we just want the reader to assume it is (this is pretty much what the show itself does, thanks to the first rule).
In other worlds: the little girl can ask whoever the shit she wants for help, but every race will get the cat down in a different – and equally effective – supernatural way.
Twilight would use her magic to levitate the cat down. Fluttershy would fly to it and grab it. Pinkie Pie would fuck the c---GOD DAMN IT. GOD DAMN IT.
How do we do this? Again, easier to say how not to do this: don’t just give the earth ponies (earth humans?) “enhanced physical attributes” and then go on with your little adventures.
See, this tends to be the go-to route for humanizing ponies, but a lot of people find it dissatisfying. The reason is that on a purely technical level, the three races might be a little more balanced now, but they sure as fuck don’t look that way to the reader. The feeling of balance is off.
Why? Well, many reasons. Maybe it’s purely a visual one – flying and doing magic is something you can perceive immediately, especially if the characters are designed with wings or horns or whatever the shit you give to your humanizations. But “being stronger” means diddly-squat if they just look like normal humans, so while you might promise that they’re actually a tad faster, or stronger, or resilient, or whatever, the readers just see them as normal boring human beings.
Or maybe it goes further, and it’s about the way the characters act. Having a character be slightly stronger than the rest means jackshit if they never use that strength to a degree that actually matters. Dash flying is a huge plot point, Twilight’s magic matters a lot, but the fact that Pinkie is stronger than both of them is told but not really shown consistently.
See? Feeling. T’sall about the feeling, yo. This implies another thing, by the way:
#4 – MAKE THE DIFFERENCES MATTER.
Aye. Now we’re getting to the nitty-gritty.
If you’re going to humanize Equestria, and you want the earth ponies to be something more than just humans, you need to give them something that is actually shown in-story in a constant basis, either visually or action-wise.
See, Twilight is always using that fucking horn of hers. Dash is more wings than brain 90% of the time. However, chances are your Applejack isn’t constantly arm-wrestling random people on the street, or suplexing cars to show her dominance. Her strength is not a fundamental part of her character.
(Small note: I understand that a character doesn’t need to be all about its race. However, for that to be a possibility, there must exist some kind of stereotype linked to said race, otherwise you just have a bland character. A society where characters can be unreasonably racist is a realistic society!)
So yeah, amp it up. It doesn’t matter if the actual powers the characters have are important or not – it’s just that, if you make a point in your story of explicitly stating that no fucking look, earth ponies also have powers, then don’t immediately forget about the powers. Or, rather, don’t let the readers forget.
It’s all related, really. Find a tone you want the world to have, maintain it, worry more about that feeling than about the actual technicality of the setting… The characters not caring is part of the feeling of balance, after all.
Aight. Neato peato mamapapa. So what powers do we give to the earth ponies, now that we’re here?
#5 – THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, YO.
Bottom line, bro. Brottom line, bo. Bo-bo. Babe? Yeah, that works. Brottom line, babe [4].
[4] I'd like to politely remind you that I got paid to write this shit. With actual money.
The show doesn’t give the earth ponies any powers.
That’s the sad truth, really. They’re muggles. Anything you try to do with them – maybe they have improved balance! Maybe they’re stronger! Maybe they don’t cry at night, hidden under the covers, thinking about the fact that their parents don’t love them! – you’re headcanoning. You’re headcanoning so hard. [5]
[5] Wait, maybe not that hard. Apparently, I've been told (this is an edit after posting the blog), one can read events in the show as proof that the earth ponies are the only ones who can grow food. I just assumed otherwise because, apparently, I was the one headcanoning. This sort of counts as a power, but translated to a human setting it feels lame unless your story is about agriculture, so the point of the blog still stands. LOOKS LIKE I'M AN IDIOT AFTER ALL. HOW IRONIC.
So if you’re creating a high-fantasy alternative universe, why would you give a fuck? Don’t go for something lame or predictable. Go flippin’ bonkers. Do weird stuff.
Y’know what I’d do, honestly? Turn the earth ponies into vampires. Or werewolves. Fuck it – it’s different, it’s original, and can be integrated into the setting without much trouble. Visually, it’s rather easy to make them different, and like fuck that is not gonna stay with the readers. They cry that it's not loyal to the show? Who gives a shit, Applejack is a werewolf now. That's cool enough to justify the weirdness.
The greatest AUs are those who are not afraid of changing shit in the setting, but still work as part of the show. Because what matters is not the window dressing, it's the characters underneath it all. So push your limits, see how far you can go. Everybody has done “they’re slightly stronger,” don't be boring.
Even if you don’t want to go to such extremes, there are still ways. Maybe they’re like your classical fantasy dwarves: stronger, yes, but also shorter, with body hair, and broad-shouldered. They drink a lot, they’re loud, they’re weird. They build a lot of shit, and are masters of working the stone, have weird steampunk technology.
Maybe you want to give them some kind of link to nature – in which case, turn them into weird dryads. One with the forest, plant powers, they poop apples. Bitchin’.
Yeah, just slap a stetson on this shit and you’re good to go, mate.
See what I mean? Go weird. Go extreme.
Because, fuck it, otherwise you won’t really strike that balance – especially if you’re humanizing and the other races do have powers. Poor ol’ Applejack is reduced to being “the lame one” way too much already, don’t make this a race issue on top of it, ‘cause that’d just be lame.
Unicorns have magic – that’s related to the mind, because horns and shit. Pegasi can fly, and that’s related to the body. This, in my HIGHLY PERSONAL OPINION, makes giving the earth ponies some kind of physical-focused power kind of a cheap move; now the unicorns are special because they have nothing to do with the other two.
So maybe try to strike balance via some thematic idea that gives a modicum of logic to the characters, that works too. For example – pegasi can fly and touch clouds and control the storms, right? And you can make the unicorn magic more fire-based, instead of focusing only on the telekinesis bit.
Add some seaponies, and all you need now is to make the earth ponies about earth (it’s right in the name!) to have a sweet four-elements-theme going on. Very Avatar: The Last Airbender, true, but that show was pretty good so who gives a shit? Just give some rock power to the earth ponies. They can talk with the trees, and live underground, or whatever. Bam. Balanced world.
Or, continuing with the themes – you can change the setting a little. Instead of high fantasy, go for a more steampunk idea, and have the earth ponies the only ones who actually give a shit about the more technological bits of the world. Like with the dwarves thing?
So you have pegasi who just fly and live in the clouds, you have unicorns, who have magic and have a more ethereal nature, and then you have the earth ponies, who have giant fucking robots that work with steam. They don’t have powers per se, but they have artificial limbs and can shoot lasers, so who gives a shit?
Third alternative, more common – the earth ponies are special not by actively having powers, but by not having disadvantages. They’re muggles, just like you and me, but the pegasi have an average life of 30-40 years, and the unicorns are so out of it that they can’t really function in the real world by themselves.
Personally, I’m not a fan of that last one, but it can work.
Thing is: the show is a good baseline, but this is your AU. Flip a shit. Go eldritch. Be weird. Think about what really matters here, what you’re truly trying to do, what kind of story you’re trying to make.
Because in the end, that’s what you should really see as important. Every setting is only as good as the story you use to describe it. A slice of life story, with absolutely no magical elements, doesn’t need magical powers, so you can ignore that bit and have the powers not give a single fuck. A high-stakes adventure, full of magic and mythological beasts, might need a little more supernatural elements.
But in the end, even if it’s your choice, I’d say you always need to look for the kind of feeling you’re going for, and remember these rules I just mentioned. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having a muggle race. A lot of fantasy settings use them. It’s when you have a muggle race and yet try to disguise it as something else when you run into trouble. Because then you want to have your cake and eat it, too.
And what happens when you do that?
That God hates human Applejack. That’s what happens.
So yeah. Go for balance, by way of feeling. Wing it, go abstract, and exaggerate if you need to. Find the story you want to tell and work based around that.
And fuck EQG, not just Sunset Shimmer.
OH, THIS IS JUST COCK TEASING.
"What are you thinking about, son?"
"Crushin' pussy!"
My dad thinks I'm such a player.
Probably the only writing advice blog that perfectly balances advice and being utterly hilarious.
I think you might have a few missing images here?
The text was thoughtful, though. It's definitely made me think about things.
4273958
Missing images?
From my point of view, they're all here. Which ones aren't showing, exactly? Can you, like, tell me the point in the blog where they're lacking or something?
4273961
I could be wrong, but are there meant to be images above all the centered small text? If so, whatever was meant to be above "Then we look at Sunset" and "just slap a stetson on this shit" isn't showing for me. If there aren't supposed to be images there, then there's nothing wrong.
4273972
That's weird -- the pics are showing up for me, and I'm checking with people who also see them. Maybe reload the page? To me, those pictures are showing.
('cause yeah, there's a pic above every little centered text, you were right about that).
4273975
I've already reloaded a few times; it's not happening. I don't know why, but it isn't. The others are all showing fine.
I was actually considering writing a blog on this very topic, since I've run headfirst into some temporal inconsistencies between the two worlds. This somehow leads to Sunset Shimmer vomiting into a bucket and Starlight Glimmer having a nervous breakdown.
In any case, definitely some thought-provoking stuff here. Holding my own work to these standards, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Thanks for the boost of confidence and the plentiful laughs.
Aside from inherent Earth Pony magic meaning they have stronger Talents than do Pegasi and Unicorns, Show makes it obvious they are physically stronger, and probably also tougher and longer-lived. They also have stronger family structures, which means a lot in a social or economic crisis.
You know. That makes a lot of sense now. Just giving Earth Pnies super strength is rather... odd, now that I think about it. XD It's the only thing distinguishing them and if they aren't using it all the time then it doesn't make sense to give them that only specific power. Hmm... this is definitely going to take a lot of time to figure out what would actually feel right. (Hopefully not super complicated thought processing, though).
Other than that, thanks for the blog! It really helps when you can share your knowledge and opinion on views about stories.
(...I was thinking of being funny... but it's hard to be hilarious when one's humor is so dry that it makes the Sahara Desert look moist).
That was a lot of fun to read! Worth the money, imo. And neat, I even got two story recommendations of other AUs to look at out of this!
Is it possible for you to not do something in a grandiose fashion?
Would you really fuck everything in that image, Aragon? Spike? The table?? The gravy boat? That gravy looks hot, and I don't mean hot-sexy! >:|
Believe it or not, this is right along the lines of a dark AU I thought up yonks ago.
I'm pretty sure in some of the bonus material, either the comics or the books, Earth ponies do have extra strength or plant magic or something.
Very solid as always, I'll have to see about throwing money your way at some point.
It must be very traumatic for you to watch that poor catfish being violated like that.
I'd be surprised if the answer wasn't "All of them".
Oh, and it isn't, so, yes, I am a bit surprised.
I ran a Google search on Ride the Saddle: Leather Cowboys and was disappointed to find that it wasn't a real thing. I need this in my life!
Another amusing blog post.
4274267
Then he wound't be Aragon.
4274270
I don't doubt for a minute he'd *yay* everything in that image. I'm looking forward to the story of his hot threesome with the element of magic and the left half of Discord's mustache.
Sadly the pillow orgy didn't work out as expected and when Pinke and AJ's hat showed up (not together mind you) things just got suuuuuuper awkward and no one left happy that night.
Ewwwww poor spike I hope you at least give him a reach around
I balanced earth ponies by just making them the majority of the population. It's cheap when you have "powers, powers, plain" in about equal measure, but "powers, powers, and the vast majority" is a little more high fantasy.
Done right and it makes Applejack feel less like a muggle among wizards and more Batman chilling with the justice league
High fantasy can be all about that contrast. Balancing by showing imbalance
4274270 That was definitely my concerned takeaway. That poor table.
I just always saw it as one of those dystopian societies everyone is okay with. Like, unicorns have the magic and the high society, pegasi have the flying and are atheletes, earth ponies have the sheer numbers and work the fields.
I mean, we all saw the Hearths Warming episode. We all know that the races didn't exactly come together simply because they wanted to. There was literally no other way to survive without the others' help, for the most part.
I personally would love to see an AU where the pegasi and the earth ponies start to realize that outside magic tricks and some fancy gadgets, the unicorns don't exactly offer much to the survival tango. That'd actually be a cool story.
4274046
Most of this is headcanon, man.
4274267
No.
I can't take a shit without a choir going Carmina Burana in the background. This blog is actually holding back a lot.
4274270
I said everything, PP.
I'd do HORRIBLE things to that table. I'd make angels weep. I'd dick it like I'm a detective named Richard.
4274568
Well, yeah, muggles being the majority is the rule, not the exception. Rare is the fantasy work that does the opposite, in fact.
4274311
Personally I still think they have no powers. At no point in the series is it explicitely stated that the earth ponies can do anything that the others can't (aside from a mention of "growing food" that's extremely up to interpretation), and bonus material is soft canon. The writers of the show don't really give a shit about them.
I only added that edit to the blog cause a lot of people yelled at me, and I'm open to admit I might have made a mistake. Still, yeah, checking this at one point and blogging, cause it annoys me slightly.
4276116
Well, that's what I mean. Traditional MLP is an exception, which is why it feels a little bit exceptionally dickish to AJ. In the traditional pony-show, Earth ponies are an equal third, but they're all bare minimum magical ponies so it doesn't feel short changed.
... until you carry it over to the human world and everyone but AJ gets something out of it. You see?
My idea for race balancing is essentially a magi- resistance type thing. Those with less magic/magic ability has a greater resistance to magic. Of course, low magic unicorns will have a decent resistance, but someone like Starlight Glimmer will have no resistance.
4274311
Seems like it, look at this Smart Cookie.
https://derpibooru.org/images/820500?q=smart+cookie%2C+applejack%2C+animated
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/3/820500.gif
Came here from Author's Note link at https://www.fimfiction.net/story/346142/31/a-cavalcade-of-cards/back-then