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BlabideeblahMLP


"If I was an oven creator, I would label the knobs 'FRONT' and 'BACK.' Not a tiny diagram of how to fuck yourself." ~Austin "Chef" Dickey

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Oct
6th
2016

I Thought About Killing Myself Today. · 7:29pm Oct 6th, 2016

It was just for a fleeting moment. For a split second, I wondered if anybody would ever like me for who I am and value me as a person, and if anyone would ever appreciate anything I have to say or do or offer to the world. I started thinking it's the only way for me to me to stop being an idiot and stop humiliating myself over and over every single day. For just an instant, I thought about it.

I don't know why I did. I'm hoping against hope I was just stressed out and got emotional. I'm afraid to tell anyone I gave the idea thought, since they might call the suicide hotline or even ship me to a mental asylum.

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Comments ( 7 )

*Hugs* I care about you. :heart: I am so glad you're still here.

You've done the right thing going here telling us and getting it out. There are a lots here who care about you.

Well, honestly... I think that everyone does it at least once, but that's it... Once. It's not more than that, I hope Please, not another one

I went through a bad bout of depression a few years ago. I saw a psychologist that was a lot of no help. I Almost did it i can still feel the metal on my teeth But I couldn't stomach the idea of my mom coming to my house looking for me and finding me. That day I realized suicide is giving up and i promised my self that day not to give up. I'm currently going through another depression and that promise has stopped me from another attempt. I hope this helps you but remember that you are worth something things will get better. You may have to fight like hell to make them get better but they will get better. And just one more cliche The strongest steel is forged in the hottest fires.

It's a thought that crosses us all at least once. I'm glad you didn't though my friend.

4243822 Very true. I have tried suicide myself many times in the past (WAY in the past, now) but there has always been something to stop me, even when absolutely determined. I have no idea why or what, but OmegaBrony is right. Suicide, as a friend of mine put it, is saying to the world: You can't fire me! I quit! :twilightangry2: But anyway, To me, suicide is letting everyone who said I'd never make it to be totally correct. And I hate them so much that there is no way that I am going to let them win! It's thoughts like these that keep my own depression from overwhelming me.

Having said that, Depression is insidious, debilitating and extremely personal. I know I can barely talk about it with anyone, and most so-called professionals can't really deal with it except in generalities, because they've never experienced what it's like to be so far down, you just want it to stop and will do anything to make it stop. Some find that talking about it to something that doesn't talk back and won't judge is a good thing (Plushies are excellent for this). If you are extremely lucky, you have that one friend who will be like that, and just give silent emotional support. But in the end, only you can truly deal with it, one episode at a time. Sometimes, that's all it takes.

Oh, and if you start to feel bad, put on Pinkie Pie's 'Smile, Smile, Smile', the video if you can. I have found I can't stay depressed with Pinkie bouncing all over the screen, urging me to cheer up. :pinkiehappy:

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