i'm not sure what i just wrote.

I don’t know what I’m smelling anymore.
I smell wood. There is no wood. Just air. It makes me sick.
I wish there was wood. Then I wouldn’t feel so lonely.

I smell leaves.
They’re new. Except they’re not. They’re dead. They’ve been dead. They crunch under my feet as I walk.
Crunch crunch. Like chips.
I wish i had chips.

Walking is dumb. Flying is better.
I try and fly. I scrape my knee. It hurts. I watch the blood run down my leg.
I don’t feel it. It’s just there.

I hear voices.
They whisper behind me. They want me to come back. To safety. Whatever that is.
I laugh at them. Silly voices. I haven’t come from anywhere. I’m going nowhere.

There’s a deer.
I’ve never seen a deer. I was told to stay away from them.
It tilts its head at me. I tilt mine back. All the way ‘til my ear touches my shoulder.
The deer runs. I don’t think it liked that.

I’m running. So much better than walking.
I’m running after the deer. It’s so pretty. So wonderful. I want it so badly.
I’ve never had deer.

I’m covered in blood.
It’s not mine. Not all of it. I can tell. It doesn’t taste like mine.
The deer’s here. It’s also not here. It’s confusing.
It stares at me. Why are its eyes so glazed? Doesn’t it know it’s to be my pet?
I bite into something. It’s a little tough. It’s red. Just like blood. Isn’t that funny?
I laugh with my deer. I think I see its mouth move. Just a little.
This is good food.

I have to leave my dear deer behind. He wouldn’t want to move.
That’s sad. I wanted him to come with me.
But I understand. He'd be missing part of himself.

The forest looks inviting today.

---

i was feeling a little insane.