Fic recs, July 26th: darf edition (will not be televised) · 1:53am Jul 27th, 2016
darf is one of the most visible authors on this site, and his story is known to many: built an audience by writing clop, was dismayed to find said audience wasn't interested in his more literary, less prurient pursuits. It was a hard lesson, but a good one to have learned, for the sake of us all. And then, three years ago, he took off.
That was how things stayed until September of last year, when he returned with new stories and blog posts. He again got kind of quiet after that initial burst of activity, and, well, in all honesty, I should have finished this blog during that time, because I started it back in September.
The fact is, I wanted to celebrate the 'glorious' return of darf with one of my author-centric review posts, like I did for Skywriter and Fiddlebottoms, and now I don't wanna no more because he did this.
I am incredibly angry right now. I do not anger easily.
This journal is now a combination of venting, showing what's been lost, being a completionist (I had about twelve fics left to review, but that's out), and asking, nay, begging all of you to just not touch this. Do not get involved in the drama surrounding darf, the man's obviously having a hard time of things, and for all that I have zero respect for people who delete their work from the internet, he doesn't deserve to have his life made any more difficult than it already is.
Instead, let's all take a trip through the unseemly and the artistic, and appreciate the loss of the strange body of work that was darf's. You can probably find these on one of the archive sites if you want, because I hear those are a thing.
Previous reviews, not that I think any of these still exist:
As the Days Go
Same Love
Let Them Eat Cake
H: 2 R: 3 C: 9 V: 1 N: 3
Luna’s Tits
Mature: Sex
Genre: 2P Humanized Clop
We begin with just about the crudest, most direct title for an erotic story you could ask for. This will not, for the record, be representative of the stories I read, as I tended to avoid both the second-person and the fetish fics in darf’s gallery, but this is one I’d read before. (Shut up. :V) I think it goes to show that I don’t hardly read either of those types of stories anyway; this left me more bemused than aroused on a second go. There’s just something ineffably strange about focusing so much on one single part of the anatomy (even if it’s a part I would focus on myself). Maybe it’s the wording. Maybe it’s the way this scene hangs in the middle of some greater story. How did you get into this position? What happens afterward? (Sex is heavily implied to follow, yet the story stops before it actually happens.) It certainly doesn’t help that the only link to pony is that one of the characters is called “Princess Luna” and speaks in Ye Olde English. An odd duck, to be sure.
Recommended If You Like Boobs or FemDom I Guess?
Twilight’s Gradual Descent Into Sluttiness
Mature: Sex
Genre: Horror
Twilight becomes determined to understand romance.
Well, I’m pretty horrified. I mean, I shouldn’t complain, I should have actually removed this one from the list because I knew what I was getting myself into, but here we are. This one says a lot of really problematic things about intelligence vs. desire for sex, and the whole concept of ‘sluttiness’ as it’s presented here is just not something I want to be reading about. Then there’s Twilight’s self-imposed mental degradation that… Anyway, if there’s a reason to be mad at this for existing, it would be the chapter entitled “Number One Assistant”. NOPE.
Not Recommended: DNF 2/6
Drop the (b)Ass (or ‘40 oz Bounce’)
Reading by Popoman100
Reading by MrManWriter
Mature: Sex
Genre: Second-Person Clop
You were starting to wonder why you’d come to this club when you saw the DJ, and her amazing ass.
Again, I don’t know why I read this story in the first place. I’m not a butt guy, and I’m definitely not interested in pony butts. (It may have simply been from back when I first started getting into fic readings and didn't know any better, hence the two non-links above.) This is a story about going to a club to see your old fuck-buddy Vinyl Scratch, where you end up getting freaky on stage and in the bathroom. The public sex element reminded me of The Fan, and how it doesn’t have this many editing mistakes. The bathroom sex is drug-fueled, but decent as sex scenes go, if geared towards making the POV character an idealized stand-in for the (male) reader. Of course, the nosebleed doesn’t do it any favors. I think there may also be a sequel element to May the Best Butt Win, a fic I’m not reviewing. Yeah, I just, I dunno. If you like clopfics, you probably don’t care about grammar.
Recommended Only If You Like Second-Person Clop
Secret Rites
Mature: Sex
Genre: Humanized Rape
Trixie’s initiation into the school’s most powerful club takes a form she never expected.
One thing that occurred to me about this piece is that it likely wouldn’t pass moderation today, being very vaguely related to ponies. This predates EQG, remember, so the setting is “human Trixie attends magic school for some reason”. The other thing that occurred to me was “there is a lot of indentation in this piece, and it’s not all even”. Then there’s the characterization: spot-on for Trixie, highly questionable for both Rarity and Twilight, for completely different reasons. There are some odd typos along with the inconsistent indenting, notably one instance of slash marks used instead of italics. And, of course, this is a rapefic. It’s not okay because it’s all girls: that’s what it is. Rarity and Twilight hold Trixie down with magic and do sexual things to her, and despite the fact that this is supposed to be part of the initiation ritual, Trixie didn’t exactly know about it and didn’t consent to it.
Not Recommended
What You Can Imagine
Genre: Literary
Everyone had heard of the place. But the stories did no justice to the fantasy of its reality.
This is one of those odd stories that can only be described as a "fantasy"; one could say it's not very pony, but it does need a world of magic in which to exist, so why not? Also, the morality of the show as we know it helps offset some of the topics covered in the dialogue and narrative. The core idea is interesting, and the way it's handled is indicative of genre fic classics, if not hard literary works. This also features one of the most fantastically loathsome characters I've ever had the pleasure of reading. The writing isn't darf's best, but it's still good for how old it is. Also, trivia: the boutique name translates as either "power supply" in Latin or "dream child" in Romanian. Definitely an interesting piece, and I'm glad it's not about sex, even if a large portion of it is about sex.
Recommended
Moonlight
Genre: Shipping
Beautiful things are best when shared.
(One of the two fics in this review that are still on the site.) The first scenes of this story are so cloyingly pure, I had to double-check to make sure there was no Dark tag. Once the faffing is out of the way, this gets into a really solid look at Fluttershy's thought processes. The explanations for her various reactions fit quite well, and LunaShy is a ship I have a fondness for and never see enough. However, I felt this was a little thin. It doesn't quite venture into ASS, but the bulk of the story is taken up by Fluttershy trying to sort through her feelings. She meets Luna a couple of times, they talk about the beauty of the night, it ends on a kiss. As shipfics go, it's not terribly satisfying, and it's got a surprising number of typos, to boot.
Vaguely Recommended
They Always Come Early
Mature: Sex
Genre: Either Fetish Fic or Trollclop, I'm Not Sure
Rarity has a most unconventional taste in stallions.
Oh my god, this story, I can't. It was a glorious trainwreck I could not look away from. The idea that Rarity is into fat, nerdy, inexperienced stallions could stem from her hitting on Apollo in Putting Your Hoof Down. But the colt in question could be a self-insert for your average socially awkward fan. The narrative does him no favors, not only disparaging every aspect of his appearance, but — in the one thing I would criticize, by using continual POV switching — making sure we know his background, which paints him as every inch the cringe-inducing manchild. It's hysterical, and even better, it could actually be a legitimate fetish. For certain, it seems like Rarity's into the fat ones, and that's definitely a thing. I wouldn't say this was worth turning your filters off for — it is more or less just clop — but I'll certainly never look at a dead squirrel without laughing uproariously ever again.
Recommended for Chubby Chasers and the Fatally Curious
Lyra, Quit Horsing Around!
Mature: Sex
Genre: Humanized Erotica
Lyra is really into horses, much to Bonbon's dismay.
It's always a trip going back to pre-EQG human fics. This one turns the tables on Lyra's human obsession, giving us a woman who's really into horse porn. Despite this, the first chapter can only be described as "adorable": they have great personalities, we get a look into their relationship, which is loving and realistic and just cute as fuck. Even when Lyra brings horses into their bedroom time, it's at least hilarious. Unfortunately, the rest of the story is about her fucking a horse while Bonbon watches. And then Bonbon goes a round herself. I'm not sure if I should count myself naive for expecting anything else. If you want to read a story about two women fucking a horse, this is probably the best-written one you can find, and that's all I'll say. :| (The first chapter was kinda worth it, though.)
Not Recommended
Pieces of a Grey Cloud
Review #3500!
Genre: Sad
This is how you write Sad Derpy. The writing is stream of consciousness — but not first person — portraying Derpy as suffering from some mental illness or other or multiple. (I suspect someone a little more knowledgeable than me could piece together some of the small details that seemed like important things at the time, but which I couldn't glean the meaning of.) She's almost childlike, caring about things like clouds, lacking words to describe certain concepts or objects. And her world is magical, like how she sometimes can't remember things unless they remember her first. The word usage is just phenomenal, guiding the reader through these notions that are impossible to understand unless you've felt them. And the very end, not the penultimate chapter, the very end, is so terrible and perfect. Like Bubbles, this is an old Derpy fic that really stands the test of time, and if you liked that do not pass this up. (The loss of this story is the real tragedy.)
Highly Recommended
The Benefits of Princesshood
Mature: Sex
Genre: Futa
Well, here's a classic concept: along with wings, the new Princess Twilight has also gotten a dick. I don't know why it's such an enduring concept (I mean, does a clop writer really need a reason to give Twilight a dick?), but here's a story that deals in it. In this case, the magic needed to hide its presence requires an orgasm, and Twilight's having problems getting herself off. Enter Rainbow Dash, who helps Twilight with her problem because she's a good friend. I must be getting soft in my old age, because darned if I didn't enjoy this for what it is. Dash is perhaps a little too reasonable about the situation (I expected more mockery, but this is fairly old), but yeah, damned good friend. There's some hoof play, I guess, which is weird but whatever, and some wing play, which is great because Twilight's are so new. Honestly, the worst part is that the sequel is Twilestia and not round two. What can I say, if you like ponies fucking, you'll like this.
Recommended If You Like Clop
Sorcicular Fornication
Genre: Friendship Is Witchcraft
Twilight is ready to start dating. It'll be just like her fanfiction!
Yes, apparently this was FiW fanfic, and good lord was it hilarious, capturing the same droll, tongue-in-cheek style of humor, not to mention plenty of disregard for everyone's character (especially Spike). But man, is LiveJournal even a thing anymore? Is anyone gonna get that joke? (It doesn't help that this fell prey to imgur's blacklisting of Fimfiction.) At any rate, I enjoyed the hell out of this, and if you like Friendship Is Witchcraft's particular brand of humor, you would as well. Lagomorphic!
Recommended
Only Human
Mature: Sex
Genre: HiE Clop but not really
Lyra is driven to desperate ends to fulfill her desires.
So yeah, this is a story about Lyra fucking a human. Except the human is a changeling. That's pretty cool. The way it plays out, though, confused me; I just don't have a word to describe what's going on here. He sort of treats her like an animal, and she gets off on it, I guess? Weird. I was definitely intrigued by what Lyra has to offer the changeling beyond just your standard offering of love to feed on. My only complaint would be some apostrophe errors; well, and Lyra swearing is kind of weird, but certainly not the weirdest thing here. Certainly a much more agreeable way to get a pony fucking a human, as far as I'm concerned, and I also appreciate that it's from the pony's POV. Not that I really care, mind.
Recommended If You're Into That
Pinkie Pie Sucks a Hundred Dicks
Mature: Sex
Genre: Tragedic Clop
Pinkie's newest idea to make ponies happy doesn't go the way she planned.
You don't expect a story with a title like that to have a Dark tag. I think that's what really drew me to it. Unexpectedly, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are present to help Pinkie out with her little debacle, and about a third of the way in, the story switches to focus on them, watching and commentating (and getting a little horny). I kind of wanted the whole story to just be them talking about ice cream; it would have been hilarious. But it's when they duck out at the halfway point that the Dark tag picks up, and things get surreal. Pinkie slowly starts being overwhelmed by what's going on, all the sensations and faces blurring together. What follows, I can't imagine is anyone's fetish. And that, I think, makes this work. For some definition of 'work', anyway. It upends the potential appeal of a gang-bang scenario into a cautionary tale about how to give consent. That said, this probably should have a Gore tag as well, and, uh, well, I'm not sure why anyone would actually want to read it. (Okay, turns out it actually is someone's fetish, go figure.)
Recommended Only for the Strong of Stomach
RainBlow-Job
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clop
Rainbow Dash comes to Rarity, seeking advice on how to please a stallion, and gets far more than she bargained for.
I really like the way this is set up, with Rarity being the teacher to an anxious, inexperienced Rainbow Dash. It plays both to and against both their characters perfectly. For the rest of it, well, it's about Rarity teaching Rainbow how to suck dick by sucking a dick and then having Dash suck the same dick. But I enjoyed it because it's full of those quirky turns of phrase that make erotica hilarious more than anything else — everything from a line about an ice cream cone to the name of the 'test subject'. And I can't help but feel like there was actual, legitimate good advice in this story for anyone looking to up their sex game. c.c Like, what, wow, okay. It might even be a little dry for a clopfic. Still, there's Rarity's unexpected 'incentivizer', which helps break up the "we just saw this, and it was better the first time" effect of the second half of the story. In the end, it was pretty decent, if you're not too hard up about Rarity essentially forcing Rainbow to cheat on her boyfriend.
Recommended If You Like Clop
"Yes, Ma'am!"
Mature: Sex
Genre: Dominance/Roleplay
Called to Spitfire's office, Rainbow Dash can't help but be a little nervous.
I just want to start by saying that this story had a much better take on Wonderbolts nicknames than Newbie Dash, despite coming out three years earlier. Past that, this was just some good, clean Spitdash clop fun, of the sort that I didn't think could happen after Wonderbolts Academy. It's got the right amount of power play, dominance and humiliation to be tantalizing without being a turnoff. It probably helps that this was obviously a roleplay sort of situation they'd arranged beforehand. Can't say the same for the rimming, but whatcha gon' do. :B If this works, it's because of the strict adherence to Dash's POV. Giving us every detail of her thoughts and desires makes the actions desirable for the reader, instead of leaving things up to their own wants. So, it's not much more than a standard clopfic — there's no plot or anything — but it's a pretty darn good example of one. And I like the ship. :V
Recommended If You Like Clop
Αλεκτρονα
Reading by Voiceguy
Genre: Experimental
Twilight looks for something to help her wake up.
Ahh, here it is. I'd been waiting forever to read this story, and I was so excited, I actually put it off for four days (and now it's fucking gone). Fun fact: when this was submitted to Equestria Daily, I pitched a fit because the kappa was actually a letter C and got it changed. :B So yes, this is the jumble of literary wank you've likely heard about, but in its defense, it is perfectly comprehensible... to me. It's possibly because I have two English degrees, possibly because I love language, possibly because I've read far less comprehensible. (Go read Lunna's Ache. I would highly recommend it, but it will sadly never be published here. ;_;) Really, the key to reading it is just to throw out everything you know about story formats or the English language and take each sentence as its own world. Sometimes, it's written in stream-of-consciousness, sometimes in a severely detached, matter-of-fact surrealism, and sometimes in poetry. On that note, listening to the writing is wonderful: from rhyming word-play to alliteration, every word has been tenaciously chosen for best effect. And it all works because Twilight's half-asleep for most of the story. Suffice to say, this is not a casual read nor for the casual reader, and I won't feel bad if you pass it by or have already tried it and didn't find it to your liking. I love it.
Highly Recommended
The Ocean and the Clouds
Genre: Sad Derpy
This just so happened to be the final entry in darf's minific collection. It reminds me a lot of Bubbles (but not Pieces of a Grey Cloud, oddly enough), which is unfortunate, since it lacks a lot of the dark whimsy of that story. But the motions are similar: Derpy thinks back to when she got her cutie mark, which involved the death of her mother, something she didn't exactly understand at the time. It's very tightly focused, which is good, though also makes it something of a puzzle for the reader to unpack. If you enjoy that kind of story, this is definitely worth a read.
Recommended
Quotidian
Genre: Experimental
Time in Ponyville is broken.
Actually, this would fall into the non-category of "temporal shenanigans": not everything happening is actually a time loop. Anyway, I downvoted this once upon a time, and I can't for the life of me figure out why (though it was from a writeoff; maybe I didn't like the original version?) It's a story told by Discord directly to 'you', as you and he walk through and around the time vortices that have trapped ponies in everything from slowed time to reversed time and, yes, time loops. I'll admit, I was a tad put off by this at first, until I realized it was supposed to be Discord, and then the snarkiness of the narrator made sense. It's a very interesting way to tell a story, or rather numerous stories, though it won't appeal to everyone, I'm sure. Still, if time shenanigans peak your fancy, give it a shot.
Recommended If You're Into Time Loops
You know, the greek-title story and the Pieces of a Gray Cloud I felt were actually his weakest things. Αλεκτρονα felt like what it was--a rehashing of Joyce without his novelty or his inventiveness.
Moving on from that, Darf's dissolution into madness is beyond depressing, and I'm really tired of talking about it, as I see you are. It's sad. He has issues. I hope he gets help. I'm not sure he will.
It's a pity when it happens, regardless.
Thank goodness for FFArchive.
At least I'm not the only one who dislikes story deletion.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4114990 People like Darf are sobering for me.
As much as I hate every sun-damned one of you, I like some of you well enough, and especially like the super-insightful people like FanOfMostEverything who comment on my stories. I could never delete my stories fully, I think.
4114979
What were his strongest, I wonder? (I believe I gave As the Days Go an H back in the day.)
4115053
Even if I one day say "fuck this site" and walk away from it, middle fingers upraised, I won't do that, because you just don't do that.
4115082 I'm way too egotistical to ever actually leave.
I'll climb to the top of the ratings board because the rest of the site is a goddamn wasteland.
Six more chapters, and enough of Tales will be finished for you to give it a shot. We'll be through Episode 1.
This is what happens when you fail one too many sanity check.
I'm kind of sad that I never read his great works. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll bother to hunt them down on FFArchive; there's a lot of other good stuff up on FIMFiction, which makes it hard to justify hunting down stuff that was deleted.
Mna I'm actually starting to feel guilty for the few stories I deleted.
Hahahahahahahah, how pointless.
It's not even an archive SITE, PP.
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Fimfarchive
It's a Fimfic account. It's got almost everything. The only way a story won't be on here is if it's uploaded and deleted in less than 3 months.
They've got Twilight Clopple, too. Pretty much anyone who's piss-and-moan-quit ever unless they did it super quickly.
Nothing leaves the internet.
4115150 there's a big difference between deleting a story or so and like, deleting all of them. Or trying.
Especially when you're specifically doing it only to feebly attempt to hurt other people. I deleted my first two stories cause they were garbage. And even then, I kind of regret doing so because there were people who liked that first one and by deleting and disowning it I kind of stepped all over their genuine appreciation.
darf is a sad case. I hope he gets better. Without diagnosing him, he clearly has been having rapid periods of ups and downs, and even though I too am extremely annoyed when people take down their work, it's hard to recommend he put them back up since there are so many reasons one wouldn't want to put those things out there.
He had some great non-clop too. I hope he'll be in a good place eventually to share those stories, pony or no.
Αλεκτρονα never really worked for me. I mean, I remember liking some of the individual pieces well enough, seeing the cleverness and all that, but if I remember my reaction correctly, some of it basically amounted to that it was far too much work for what amounted to slice of life, a genre I tend to find rarely catches me if there's nothing else going on. However, the related blog posts were excellent; I believe that Bad Horse has said the same thing happened with Joyce, in that (almost) nobody really reads the novels, but they do read his letters and commentaries on what they mean and how they were made. And so history repeats in miniature (if BH is right on that, I guess). And for the wordplay, I think I preferred his poetry, or what was just worked into other stories.
One of my favorites of darf's not included here was his reworking of "The Last Question." And, of course, "What You Can Imagine" was wonderful. I'll need to check out some of the others.
Can't tell if choice of emote was intentional... :D
And I'm betting it wasn't something you were expecting to ever say, let's call it six years ago.
ETA:
Hey now, don't go painting everyone with the same brush. :V
The popularity and function of porn versus other types of fiction--and of course, the very different standards that result--are quite disparate and severe. I think learning about those differences is something that blindsides a lot of writers. One could even say the same about entertainment/popcorn fiction and "serious" "literary" fiction.
I actually learned that lesson myself. Although, thankfully, I had the foresight to put all the porn/clop on an alt.
I never had any interaction with darf, but I sympathize with them, and with any other writer/artists whose expectations of their work and their audience don't quite match up.
C'est la vie.
Wait, FiW has a style of humor?
4115245
I was going to do that and then I realized I love attention more than I love respect.
4114990 I cringe at my own early works, but I won't delete them.
4115082
Agreed. I'm a dick sometimes, but not enough so to actually delete stuff, no matter how frustrated I am with this place.
I never did care for darf as a writer – I find his clop exploitative, and his "serious" stuff pretentious. Still, it does make me angry to see people deleting stuff from the internet. Hell, I even get mad at stuff like chromosome changing his name before leaving. At least fimfiction authors seem to be pretty okay in that regard – specially considering how common that kind of thing is when it comes to Youtube.
You know...on one hand, I hope darf gets help. But on the other, why farm more resentment by being a complete a-hole about leaving? He did fine for the 2 years he was gone without that. darf has always been an odd pickle of a writer. He has skill, but it's fueled by self-hate of some flavor and that's a recipe for eventual disaster. I liked some of his experimental stuff, but never really enough to not be bothered off by his other stuff. I looked at a few of the new crop of fics but found nothing remotely interesting.
Then the commissioned fetish clop started. That's when I noped back to my corner of the site. But SOMEBOBY liked them and his other stuff, so deleting it all like that is childish and I'm kinda done being sympathetic to manchildren that need to mature the fuck up or just let the lions eat them and spare the rest of us.
Frankly, when I die, I'm leaving instructions to archive my writing. Even the stuff I don't like.
4115592
So basically Regidar but without humility?
This I'm going to disagree on. I think that it's great for the story, possibly being a bigger highlight than the public sex or drug fuelled debauchery. I feel it represents the emotional high of the moment; it's raw and visceral. That, and Vinyl is having a great time, actually smiling through the whole damn thing. It's a sensual moment more than a sexual one, I find. The imagery of it is haunting, crimson dripping down a white muzzle to dry and cake to it by the end of the story.
Yeah, I know is being completely subjective, but what can I say? Given that I like dark things, I find this to be beautiful, just as I find the bubble flesh of scars to be as beautiful with an underlying and hidden story that possibly only the bearer knows any significance of.
That said, I'm a mischievous devil; I'm not above making fun of stuff I find beauty and passion in and will compare that Vinyl's nosebleed to this :)
So does that mean if I give zero fuck about grammohr in teh smutz, I yam Temmie? H0i!!! Temmie wan red aboot dicks touching yay! Is a hot! Iz bes olympic sport!!1!!! Gambit x Wolverine OTP!!!!! rawr sexay!!:3682!! ;B
Oh fucking christ. I remember that fic. That fucking stallion. Truffle Shuffle. That fucking name is so much cringe. I forget... did he skip a night of Magic: the Gathering– err, Friendship: the Gathering, just to get some with Rarity. God, I think pretty much all of us can relate to this shining example of neckbeard. Probably especially the lack of bathing part.
If you walk out of this fic with a sense of fulfillment and not looking back at your terribly, awful lifechoices, well man... you have some dedication to the subculture of neckbeard.
I, for one, will continue bathing just every other day. It makes for having dustier moth wings, which is always a plus >:3
This fic made Foamy come up with the term "hectafellatio". That is an accomplishment in and of itself.
Also, PP, you could've made this review one word that would've summarized every single sentiment for this story: glug.
4115602
I am somehow more appreciative of Regi.
Somehow, I think this whole fiasco may be darf's lesson in humility. Well, if he realizes and accepts it as that. He's got a whole lot of soul searching to do in the meantime.
4115147
I think he should've realized his composure was crumbling and taken a while offline to heal up instead of trying to right things by attacking back, making things worse for himself.
I regret not reading that one fic he did before he left a few years ago about ponies yiffing. Like, with fursuits. That seemed like it would've been intriguing, given the way darf puts a spin on things.
What was that term RainbowBob coined? Darf dissonance, I think?
4115574
Is being pretentious necessarily a bad thing? It does have a way of turning into enlightenment after discerning things a bit of introspection. And, barring any of that, it's fun poke at with a stick :B
Exploitative or bold? Pandering or being expressive? A bit of perspective brings a more rounded view. That being said, it's ok to think something is still dumb even after you've seen the other guy's reasons why it isn't.
Oh man. I especially dislike it when it happens on YouTube. So much pony music gets lost like forever that way. Like, I miss having ready access to Psychgoth's older stuff like that Big Mac Fighting Is Magic theme he did. Or that Rasputin cover. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy ;_;
4114990
Yeah. Don't like it when authors start doing it. But I kinda can understand why they would. Where perhaps it's a source of enjoyment for their readers, they find nothing but pain and emotional anguish, the kind that makes you have that cold feeling in your gut and it makes you feel like crying. Like, the readers have a positive emotional imprint on a story due to the story itself, for the author they have a negative one due to the drama associated with it.
I still got old shit up on fanfiction.net. Prolly not gonna take it down, despite it being poorly written and being a dramafest in the comments. It's just that nobody will ever find it. At least that's what I'm hoping for ;P
Ok. Dammit. Is it possible to access any of these archives from mobile? I kinda want to, but I don't want my phone to explode into goo by clicking on anything. Like, I'm being cautious, I guess.
4115150
I've deleted two stories myself, and I only feel any amount of guilt for one. But there's a big difference between that and 60-something stories.
4115226
Goddammit.
4115283
Funnily enough, I kind of regret having a porn alt. For all that it's fun being a pirate, it's also a lot of headache keeping track of two accounts.
4115574
All I ask is that things be left for people to continue enjoying. I mean, heck, don't be mad at Chromosome, be mad at the Maverick for never doing anything with the account! :V
4115748
I suppose I can see this, or even that it's a side-effect of said drug-fueled debauchery. It was just such an odd thing to happen in the middle of everything, it threw me completely off.
4115602
Basically, a lot of troubled authors, fanfic and professional. See Hemingway and Device Heretic. That sort of self-loathing CAN generate some extraordinary expressions of the human psyche and soul. But it is also self-destructive.
When you add manbabying on top of it though...I lose all potential sympathy.
4115245
I think porn is to romance as action/adventure is to drama. Something like that. I'm not familiar with written porn; "Drop the (b)Ass" is one of the only such stories I read on purpose and to the end. But it was what more porn should be like but very little is--no disturbing fetishes, degradation, humiliation, power games, or characters who act like aliens or robots, but a story of the circumstances leading up to two people sharing a sexy moment.
Even within porn, you can see that PP's tastes run to "silly porn" and "cringe porn", which is about the same as fetish porn but very different from porn as the sexy part of romance.
And now that PP reminds me, there was a nosebleed in that story which kinda added a fetish element, which makes me want to rant. Why don't people make porn as just sex? Why do they always have to twist it with something strange? Like, in the US, you can not find a professional porn video with no money shot at the end. They do not exist. What are those endings there for? Who does that?
4115902
Don't say that name! They might go away too! D:
4115748
Arf?
I never read it, but I chuckled when someone pointed out it existed.
4115769
Why don't you just move those stories onto your main account, then?
4116096 I was gonna mention those (I really think there some gems there) but didn't for that reason.
4115245
I did the same as well. I'd written sex for other fandoms but not here, where I know clop is a different ballgame, and my stories had a particular out-there plot element to them I had not written before. But the reception to them was very positive so I eventually came out about the alt account and moved them over.
Doseux actually tried. He edited it and submitted it, where it promptly failed moderation because clearly any story that requires effort to understand is "not pony enough".
This is also why the only Adventure Clyde story on the site is my deconstruction This Is Not An Adventure Clyde Adventure: A Story About Twilight Sparkle, despite multiple hilarious (and self-evidently pony) submissions by 4115150 and others.
nOT THAT i'M BITTER.
4115925 I personally think of porn as like a drug: one's tolerance to it gradually builds up, and thus one needs stronger doses of increasingly exotic things to get the same result.
Further, porn can also get extremely repetitive. There's only so many ways to dress up and describe the act of sex. The plainer the sex, the harder it is to make sexy.
After so many instances of "regular" porn with standard-issue sex, a given audience will tire of it. The easiest way to make it fresh/novel is to focus on the aspects you mentioned. I imagine that's why so much porn deals in such extreme types of sex. Not only is it catering to a preexisting audience who likes those elements, it also is catering to those who are bored with less excessive things.
4115283 That's usually the type of person I recommend should write porn, yes. Whenever any author says they want popularity, I tell them to write porn. Porn writers get to be popular regardless of the quality of your work, so it fits.
4116337 All porn receives positive reception, regardless of its quality. That's the problem
4115769 I just leave each of my accounts logged on in different browsers. So on my main browser, going to FIMfic is my main account, and on my other browser FIMfic leads to my other account. I do the same with Steam and YouTube and such. Way easier than the alternative
4116404 Eh, not that I've seen here, a lot of clop gets mixed ratings that I see. Mine got all-around good ratings. </brag>
4116096
A darfpocalypse of sorts.
4116313
I think BH has name dropped Unntsss-tsss (how do you even say that?! :V) enough times this month that he's jinxed everything. I mean, he blogged about this revelation. Why, I'd go as far as to say his actions have caused this very predicament we stand in. It'd be wise to brace yourself for some sort of cataclysm
I'm only kidding about BH jinxing up this whole thing up in the first place. Maybe. Probably.
Perhaps we can unjinx it by playing the quiet game? PP goes first cuz he's host :3
4116404
I've heard that argument, but I don't believe it. First, because it doesn't happen with other forms of story. Science fiction fans don't say, "Not those same old laws of physics again! Give us something weirder!" Fantasy fans are still reading knock-offs of Tolkien. Romance novels are still pretty much the same as they were when I was born. I think romances about 18th-century Scottish men are still the single most-popular scenario other than "generic present-day".
Second, because it's never happened to me, and I've watched... some porn. I have experimented with it. For instance, I experimented with it yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that. The day before that I was too sick. I don't tire of it. I'm not drawn towards gang-bangs or anal sex (why is there so much anal sex in American porn?) This supposedly inevitable acclimatization has never happened to me, not the least little bit.
4116250 There's no way to move stories from one account to another, other than to ask a mod. To retract it from one account and publish it on another is a banning offense.
4115769
Please, try being SS&E!
4116645
How else would you do it? XP
4116641 Well, that the thing about fiction: like any subjective medium, any generalization is still going to have exceptions. Porn in particular has so many different factors and aspects to its audience, that any sort of categorization or pigeonholing is going to be guesswork at best.
I don't think that comparing actual fiction to porn is necessarily fair. The two have very different goals. The former's intention is to tell a story. The latter's intention is to aid masturbation. Both can have many gradations and approaches, and they both use prose, but ultimately it's apples and oranges.
I suppose there is some comparison to be made between porn and pulpy entertainment: they both are intended to take up time. But even then, the emotions they evoke and approaches they take are quite disparate.
4116250
Aside from the reasons Bad Horse points out, then I'd have to get all those views and ratings all over again. :B Some of my porn is mildly successful!
4116392
I KNOW
I AM NOT BITTER EITHER
4116641
I think it's also worth noting, re: your earlier comments, that I try to keep my fetishes mostly hidden. :B I'm usually still good with vanilla sex, but when it's colorful horses, a story that doesn't capture the inherent goofiness of colorful horses having any kind of sex is doing it wrong.
4117005
Lol I'm not saying you should delete them and post them again. Why don't you just have a mod transfer them over to your main? I've done that a couple of times and it went smoothly.
4117005
Oh, so humans having sex is perfectly respectable, but for horses, it's "goofy"?
STOP FORCING YOUR WORLDVIEW ON MY PEOPLE!
Also, we prefer the phrase "horses of color".
4117666
Pfft, "Ponies of Color".
You're all just a bunch of stinkin hoofies to me.
THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID WHAT WE WERE ALL THINKIN!
4115748 Oh yeah, being pretentious is pretty bad indeed. It is all about adopting the trappings of great works of art without actually incorporating the substance of what makes them great, either in the most heavy-handed or the most obtuse manner possible. It is repeatedly hammering religious imagery on your Superhero movie because, you know, you wanna point out that he is a messianic figure. Or repeating old ideas from philosophy that you could get from a 5 minute Wikipedia search, and treating it as a supreme revelation. Or wanking random long chords on your guitar for minutes because you saw that in other songs and it was so soulful.
It legitimately makes me angry. It is like sitting outside in a restaurant, and seeing that the owner added a print of the Sistine Chapel ceiling to the parasols, and a rendition of the Monalisa to the coasters, because he wants to serve pasta while reminding people of Italian culture.
4117666
Yes, and it's adorable when you get angry about it. :V
I not only still have A LiveJournal, I still actually use it. :P
4118470
Gosh! I know one other person who can keep you company! :V
4116973
This simply isn't true, or no one would ever look at porn without masturbating. Have you never watched a porn video clip just because it's beautiful and exciting? Do you masturbate every time you look at a Playboy? Every time you go to an R-rated movie, in a theater, which has a sex scene (which is porn)?
Porn is exciting, in a way very similar to the way an action movie is exciting, but with an aesthetic component. Like an action flick, it's also very, very one-dimensional, very stripped-down to focus on just the thing it's doing. I could also say porn is to romance as Finnegan's Wake is to poetry--stripping out narrative coherence, deep thought, tight connections between different parts of the text, significant meaning, etc., and focusing on just the sound and word-play. An intense but very narrow experience.
4119704 The former's primary intention is to tell a story. The latter's primary intention is to aid masturbation.
Happy?