• Member Since 26th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen January 22nd

Xenay


22 year old girl from Germany. POTS warrior. TwiDash shipper.

More Blog Posts19

  • 249 weeks
    Whelp.

    Pretty sure most of my followers have noticed by now that I'm almost never here anymore. I've been thinking about revoking all my stories, cause... I don't know, it just feels weird having something out in the open and never checking to see if anyone steals it or something. Maybe I'm just weird. I had already revoked a few the last time I was here, a few months ago.

    Read More

    0 comments · 256 views
  • 298 weeks
    Sorry

    Not quitting the story just very depressed

    0 comments · 347 views
  • 309 weeks
    Bad news

    So.. I’ve had a long time EKG on Monday and it showed the quick changes of heart frequency and the tachycardia..

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    2 comments · 335 views
  • 312 weeks
    Possibly dying (?)

    Over the last month, my health has gone worse. It started with the usual dizzyness I’ve had all my life reoccurringly. And now I can barely leave my bed without having to hold onto something to keep from fainting.

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    3 comments · 416 views
  • 317 weeks
    New Meds

    As the title says, I´m on new meds now. Away from simple SSRI anti-depressants, to something for depression, PTSD, sozial anxiety, anxiety attacks and OCD. They have 50mg and until the next appointment I gotta take a half. I am not going into detail as to why. Simply because it´s not something I want to post openly on the internet. (You´re probably gonna hear about it through stories anyways..)

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    1 comments · 310 views
Jul
3rd
2016

What is depression · 1:41pm Jul 3rd, 2016

Depression is not about being unhappy. It's an illness. And it can end deadly.
If you wonder what it feels like, you really have no idea bout it.
If it's bad enough, you don't feel anything. Emotions are erased from you. From your soul.
And everything around you is like a movie. You see it happen, but it's all just an act. None of it is real.
When you're around others, you're lonely. Nothing matters.
When you're at home, you're alone. You're worthless. No one cares. And that's why you want to die.

People ask you how you're doing. How are you going to answer something that you don't know yourself? Do you lie and say "I'm fine"?
People tell you the stupidest things.
Don't tell me how sorry you are for me.
Don't tell me everything will be alright.
Don't tell me how young I am.
Don't tell me that I have my whole life ahead of me.
Because to me it was over a long time ago.

You ask me why I'm depressed?
I ask you why you're happy.

Report Xenay · 412 views · Story: Welcome to my life · #Depression
Comments ( 4 )

Don't think everyone reading this blog doesn't know how it feels to have depression, k?

You're not alone.


And you ask me why I'm happy, I'm just glad to be over it. I know it rarely happens, and I know you already said for me not to feel sorry, but I hope that even if you've given up, as long as you're alive, you still have a chance.

4557869

Well I'm glad that you were able to overcome it. :heart:

I'll have to live with it my whole life because it's chronic...

4567917
Oh, well, I hope you will have a normal lifespan. You really deserve better. :pinkiesad2:

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