Fic recs, March 8th · 6:12pm Mar 8th, 2016
It's supposed to be 72 degrees today and it's not even halfway through March. c.c I can't remember the last time spring came before the equinox. I don't know how to deal with this. D:
News! Good at voice acting? Scribbler needs a Vinyl Scratch!
On a completely unrelated note, halp gize D: I wrote a trollfic but it got dark and serious near the end, wat do :(
My writing goals may have gone up in smoke, but I'm starting to get back into some kind of schedule, so have a big one today! Included are reviews of Or What? by Masterweaver, Geodesic Dragon's Shy and the Bluff, and NO NO NO NO NO WE HATE HIM WE ALL HATE HIM GOSH DARNIT NO JUST DON'T by Aragon. :V
H: 1 R: 5 C: 4 V: 2 N: 0
...Or What? by Masterweaver
Reading by Dr. Wolf
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie’s friends figure out how to leave her party cave.
Usually, when an author writes a fanfic pointing out how something in an episode didn’t make sense, they do it because they’re upset. The results are often cringeworthy. But if there’s one reason I like this story, it’s that the author was willing to go, “Hey, this situation doesn’t make any sense” and then play the nonsense for laughs. Of course, this is a very funny story besides; just watching the mane six trying to figure out how to Pinkie is hilarious by itself. There are a couple diversions — sheep rights, tax evasion — that aren’t quite as funny as the rest, but if nothing else, this reused a joke I didn’t much care for in the episode and made me laugh at it. That’s really something.
Recommended
Dear Princess Luna: I Love You by RainbowBob
Reading by Captain Sand
Sequel to Dear Princess Celestia: I Hate You
Genre: Comedy
Twilight writes Luna a very detailed love letter.
I didn’t particularly like the original story, so it’s surprising that I found anything to like in this one. They’re almost the same story, just with the emotions flipped. The humor is all derived from how OOC Twilight is, Spike puts a bunch of post-scripts at the end — thankfully declaring his own innocence in the face of all this raunchiness — and the final scene is just commentary on Twilight’s drinking habits. If there’s one thing that pushed this over the top, it’s the secret message, which is quite a bit different from that of DPC:IHU. This isn’t going to appeal to everyone, but I don’t think having read the first story is necessary to understand it.
Recommended If You Like OOC Humor
Shy and the Bluff by GeodesicDragon
Genre: Not What It Seems
Everyone has to wonder why Fluttershy lied about missing the slumber party.
Dat title tho. This is a pretty simple if ultimately amusing piece about everyone realizing they’ve been given a different lie about why Fluttershy couldn’t make it to a party. The actual reason isn’t quite as funny as the Comedy tag might make you think, but the ending more or less is. I dunno, I liked it. :)
Recommended
Intoxication by doctor dapples
Reading by Scribbler, ToonKriticY2K and Cora Zone
Genre: 2P Romance
Your life changes suddenly when you become involved in the personal problems of one of your students.
Look at that story number: 135! It explains a whole hell of a lot about this story, mostly the very confusing “who am I supposed to be?” setup (which is of course explained in the description-that-I-didn’t-get-because-audiobook). Granted, if there’s any way to tell this story’s age, it’s that Minuette is called Romana. I mean, who remembers that? Anyway, yes, the fact that there is more than one teacher in Ponyville was confusing, but after figuring that out, I was all set for a hard-hitting story about alcohol abuse and its effect on children that used second-person narration to evoke immediacy in ways that first person can’t. Instead, I got a shipfic that does something I hate: put a character through the wringer to make them shippable. In this case, it’s Berry Punch, doing what Berry Punch has always done. And in trying to help her, you get a hoof in the eye and, eventually, some tail. :/ That said, up until the point where I realized it was headed for relationship-ville, I was really into this, second person or no. And the problem with the relationship ultimately isn’t the circumstances under which it’s formed, but the rate at which it’s presented. The “getting to know each other” part is glossed over in a few paragraphs, taking us from initial encounter to intimate encounter in the space of three thousand words. I think this could have been a good bit longer, tackling those hard issues while still getting the romance in and feeling natural, but instead, it’s a mite disappointing.
Recommended Only If You Like Second-Person Romance
NO NO NO NO NO WE HATE HIM WE ALL HATE HIM GOSH DARNIT NO JUST DON’T by Aragon
Genre: Comedy
Octavia’s announcement of her engagement goes over about as well as any of her other ideas.
How am I going to pass up reading a story with a title like that? I ask ya! Where to begin? If I were to quote the best parts of this piece, I would be reprinting half the story. It’s chock full of hysterical turns of phrase. It’s also got a very unusual portrayal of Octavia, as something of a bubbly idiot; this is hilarious. It helps that her last name is “Pizzicato”, something I don’t think I have ever seen. Frederick Horseshoepin is perhaps the star of the show, with his consistently funny swearing and generally un-sunny attitude. The way the four characters are built, the whole “they were called by the instrument they no longer played” thing, is brilliant. The romance is amazing. It’s a nonstop cavalcade of fantastic wackiness. If there’s any downside to it, it would be that sometimes, especially near the opening, those hysterical turns of phrase feel like they’re in the wrong order. Also, there are one or two more-amusing-than-hysterical scenes that go on a bit. None of that, ultimately, was enough to tank my enjoyment of this piece. It will stand forever as the greatest non-Dislestia Discord shipfic ever written.
Highly Recommended
Twirek by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Crackshipping
Spike discovers Twilight’s new boyfriend in about the most awkward way possible.
This is a fucking weird story. The main joke actually isn’t “Twilight is dating Tirek”, but “Spike is more mature than he lets on”, which is oddly inconsistent. I mean, he knows what fucking is, but not what it means when Twilight and her last boyfriend say they’re “tired” and go upstairs together? I don’t mind the out-of-character humor so much, but I think it was the inconsistency that left me feeling little out of the loop. Well, that and this doesn’t do much but lay out the idea and have the characters react to it. There’s a couple chuckles in this, but overall, it’s just kind of okay.
Vaguely Recommended
The Price of a Smile by Trick Question
Genre: Lifting the Veil
When Twilight’s nightmares cause her to start hallucinating, she turns to Princess Luna for help.
It took me a chapter to remember this one from its writeoff, and I was overall very impressed with how the story looked doubled in length. That said, it might honestly need a little more. Don’t get me wrong, though: what’s here is good. There’s a lot of great, very gradual buildup that keeps the story focused and tense. Scenes like Twilight basically doing lengthy accounting in the course of solving a mystery were actually pretty darned engrossing. “Surprising” definitely covers this piece; for all that I commented to myself in the middle that I’d recently read something else where Twilight is tasked with making a life-altering “you can never go back” decision without all the pieces, this went in places I never expected. (It’s also the only fanfic I have ever read that justifies the use of “buck” in place of “fuck”. That’s an achievement.) That said, a couple things fell flat. There are some shorter chapters that gloss over large periods of time through bald telling, and it’s not so much that that’s inherently bad (as some will argue) as it is a big shift in narrative style after a chapter of excellent tension-building. The dialogue towards the end got somewhat melodramatic, like I was watching characters in an action movie. And the ending is really abrupt, if still effective. I was just kind of surprised to see no option for a next chapter! (Note: The author was uploading chapter edits literally while I was reading, so some of this may not apply anymore.) So this is definitely worth reading, despite its few flaws.
Recommended
Pinkie Pie and the Quest for Missing Smiles by Venates
Genre: Adventure
When nopony in town seems to want to smile, Pinkie takes it upon herself to quest for the fabled Joyflower, and bring happiness back to Ponyville.
This piece just didn’t do anything for me. At its heart is a good idea: Pinkie goes off on a half-cocked quest for something that may or may not exist because she doesn’t understand why everyone in town is sad. Except that if you think about it for two seconds after reading the chapter, there’s about one possibility for why things are the way they are, and one very obvious logical conclusion, which the story reaches by the end. Along the way, Pinkie learns an important lesson, one especially worthwhile for her in particular, but along with that comes a very standard fable story structure without a lot of actual fable feel. The overall effect is dull and repetitive, and more than once was I shaking my head as numerous coincidences piled up to help Pinkie out. By the end, I got exactly what I didn’t want. This might be worth it for Pinkie fans, or fans of adventure; just remember the ending isn’t happy.
Vaguely Recommended
The Following Story Has Been Discontinued by Fillyphil
Genre: Meta
This is a piece about the agony of writer’s block, self-doubt, ADD, and a whole host of other things writers suffer. For those reasons, it’s very self-indulgent. That same self-indulgence is why writers will likely want to read it. As for myself, I’ve lived this perfectly enough that I didn’t really want to read a story about it, yet I can’t come up with a reason why others shouldn’t read it. So give it a shot.
Recommended
The 63rd Rune by Alexstrazsa
Genre: Rule 63
After a spell goes wrong, Twilight and friends must find a way to fix what’s happened… or be stallions forever!
At least, I think that’s how this one goes. c.c So, you thought story #135 was something? Try story nineteen. Alex just announced that he’s giving up fanfic, and while going through his gallery to remove the newly-cancelled stories, I realized I hadn’t ever reviewed this one. Which is stupid, because I swear I read it right around the time I started reviewing. So, working entirely from memory, all I remember about this is that it’s better than its contemporary, On a Cross and Arrow — no godawful LUS, no terrible romance subplots, generally a decent adventure — but the writing isn’t super-great. Unfortunately, other than its position as the alternative R63 fic, I can’t remember a whole lot else about it. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go relive this classic piece of fandom history! That probably should have gotten its own post. But that would require rereading it and do I look like I’m made of time? No, I do not. :(
Recommended for the Forgiving
Celestia’s Extra Special Day by RainbowBob
Reading by Captain Sand
Genre: Comedy
Once again, it’s the one day of the year Celestia dreads.
The fic makes no bones about what day it is; it's obvious. The reason why Celestia dreads her birthday, on the other hand… Well, it’s not the funniest thing ever, but I did find it funny. And overall, this has more jokes than just the title, so it’s a decent read.
Recommended for Laughs
Playing in the Park by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Cute
After playing in the mud all day, it’s time to get clean.
This story divides neatly into two parts. The first part is what the title suggests: Noi playing in the park with some friends while her sister watches on. It’s cute as fuck. Either I was just really in the mood for some adorable fluff, or ShadowOfCygnus deserves a lot of credit for his mastery of accents, because I just loved the hell out of it. The second part, then, is Golden Harvest introducing her sister to the shower for the first time, as Noi is used to only taking baths. The significance of this plays well into the story’s theme of how young ponies and adult ponies view the world. (It also reminded me of my first time taking a shower. I cried. :( I have issues.) That said, it went on for rather a long period of time. I found myself wishing (for once) that there had been more glossing-over going on. I mean, the whole “stand up to wash your belly” thing is cute, but all rote the details didn’t do anything to move the piece along. Still, if you’re in the mood for cute fluff, this will surely satisfy.
Recommended
Aragon's title actually was why I didn't want to read it at all. It made me cringe so hard I think I broke something.
3797717
You can't see it, but I'm wiggling my eyebrows really hard right now.
PP, lil' question: I know you read everything you review, but do you review everything you read? 'Cause so far, every time you comment on a story of mine, I'm convinced I'll see that same story pop up in one of your blogs.
Guess that, if you're gonna make a living out of reviewing, you might as well make use of all your readings, though. Makes sense.
EDIT: Oh, and thank MrNumbers for the "Octavia Pizzicato" thingy. He used it long ago, I think, and I heard him talk about it once -- so I stole it because we're gay lovers or something.
I didn't use "Philharmonica", like usual, 'cause I already write about an Octavia Philharmonica --- in a different fic series. She's popped up now and then, with a completely different interpretation, so I chose to change the name to imply that they weren't the same character, or the same 'verse.
It's also such a pretty name, isn't it? Octavia Pizzicato. Anything is better than "Octavia Melody", really.
3797733 eyebrow wiggling? In public?
Won't you think of the children
Yo is that like hot or cold in Celsius
I must have spent at least 10 hours looking at the C <-> F conversion for engineering school and I still can't recall how one becomes the other without Google
3797781
F = 9/5 * C + 32
C = (F - 32) * 5/9
So that's about 22C - a pretty comfortable temperature. Apparently, that's unusually warm for this time of year where PP lives.
If the problem is that you keep mixing up the conversion methods, maybe it'd be easier to just commit to memory that -40C = -40F and 0C = 32F? Then you can use those to figure the conversions out with some trivial rearrangement.
We had snow yesterday. Fucking snow!
Also, thanks for the shout out!
Good reviews! Cannot advise on trollfic: That writing style is to dyslexia what Crunchy Sugar Bombs are to diabetes. Made my teeth ache.
I could've sworn you had reviewed 63rd before. Maybe that was someone else. I can't keep track of all these things, man.
3797733
I review everything I read. In four years of reviewing, I think there's only been one or two stories I didn't at least give some indication of having read, and that's generally because they're so bad, there's nothing to be said for them. So if you see a comment, a review is imminent. (Granted, if I'm reading it for an edition, the gap between the two may be pretty big.)
3798052
Yeah, it was fuckin' snowing on Saturday. You see my confusion. D:
ALSO DID YOU READ THE STORY IT IS YOUR FAULT :V
3798230
I'm glad it's not just me.
I saw captain for a second and got scared. Some good reads here, thanks!
I was convinced you'd reviewed The 63rd Rune before; I thought I remembered reading your review of it after I reviewed it. I guess I was wrong, or got shifted into a different dimension where everything was identical except for this one review, or something. Probably something, And I'll read NO NO SUPER LONG TITLE because it's short and I haven't seen the pairing before ever, but I'm sceptical about whether I'll like it. Also, who does like second-person romance?
3798473
People with no taste.
I'm gonna go with the "shifted realities" theory about 63rd Rune, I think. :B I mean, I double-checked my spreadsheet and everything. We just seem to all have jumped into a universe where I never reviewed it.
Whoops. So that's what that command on the Big Master Review Sheet does. I'll have to be more careful with the Retcon Reality Delete function in the future.
3799380
Griiiifiiiiiiiiin! *shakes fist*
3799397
Hey, if I knew deleting links on the Big Master Review List could tear reviews out of the space/time continuum I would have paid more attention to the 'are you sure' dialog box!